Qi Qi's mother is a little anxious these days.
The teacher chatted with her and said euphemistically that every day in the classroom, the children will take the children to do exercises, and the children who can't finish the work need to continue to complete at home, which is to let the children consolidate the knowledge learned that day, hoping that parents will pay attention to and urge the children to complete.
The mother knew that her son Qi Qi had not turned in his homework for half a month this semester.
The teacher asked him why, and he said he had forgotten his homework or had been hidden by his sister. After a few times, the teacher felt that something was wrong and found Qi Qi's mother to understand the situation.
In fact, the mother is also very confused, because this semester the son always does not write homework, ask him why, he said that the burden is reduced, the teacher did not leave homework.
But when they watch TV or play on the computer together, they are a little absent-minded, worried, and dream at night.
It wasn't until the teacher found her mother that she understood that her son was lying at both ends.
The mother told the teacher that they were very strict with their sons, made an appointment with the child, learning was very important, only when he finished his homework could he play, and if he could not finish his homework, he could not go out to play, eat, and sleep.
However, the child is too greedy, often after writing homework to go out to play, or watch cartoons, for which parents do not criticize him less, and even scold a few times.
The teacher said that the problem may be here, because they are too strict with Qi Qi, causing Qi Qi to lie to avoid punishment and to play a little longer.
Under the persuasion of the teacher, the mother said that she would communicate more with the teacher in the future, no longer scold the child, and also realized that it is important to educate the child to study well, but it is more important to educate the child to be an honest child.
Children are good by nature and do not lie, and once they lie, they will be uneasy inside. Generally speaking, children are not honest for the following reasons:
Not to be punished
Human nature is to seek advantage and avoid harm, and children are no exception.
For example, Qi Qi, once the homework is not completed, he cannot go out to play, he cannot watch TV, and he is punished by his parents, and in order to avoid all this and protect himself, he chose to lie.
Although Qi Qi would be uneasy by lying to his parents and teachers, the fear of being punished exceeded the uneasiness of lying, so Qi Qi held a fluke mentality and lied again and again.
Obtaining improper benefits
Children sometimes lie for improper benefits, such as Qi Qi, and his parents have agreed with him that they can watch TV and go out to play after writing their homework.
Qi Qi wanted to play and watch TV, but he didn't want to write homework, so he had to resort to deception.
Vanity is a wack
Some children lie because they have a strong sense of vanity and want to be praised by their parents or appreciated by their children.
Like Qi Qi's behavior of not turning in homework, before being discovered, Qi Qi had earned enough face in front of his classmates, and he felt a great sense of accomplishment in his heart and felt that he was very powerful.
Imitate adults
Children aged six and seven have weaker discriminating ability and self-judgment ability, but stronger imitation ability. Adults sometimes lie out of good intentions, or say things against their hearts.
There is also the fact that what parents promise to their children, for various reasons, is not fulfilled, which will give children a feeling that they have been deceived and sow the seeds of dishonesty.
Children lie, it does give parents a headache, although it can not rise to the height of moral character, but if parents let it go, it is bound to affect the development of children's mental health. The following suggestions are for parents' reference.
First, parents should set a good example by example
Parents are the child's first teachers, and the parents' words and deeds affect the child.
If you want to educate your child to be an honest child, parents must first be honest parents.
The Soviet educator Makarenko said that education should not be carried out only when parents talk to children or when they teach and command children. Parents are educating their children in every moment of their lives.
This requires parents to be honest in their words and deeds in life and set a good example for their children.
Second, don't label your child as lying
When it is found that the child has the problem of lying, parents should not be too worried, or teach the child a lesson, but carefully analyze the real reason behind the child's lying.
For example, Qi Qi, he lies because he is dissatisfied with the learning policies formulated by his parents, then parents have to sit down and talk with their children about whether they need to re-formulate a standard, rather than labeling their children as "lying", which will hurt their children's self-esteem and make children feel guilty and guilty.
This also reminds parents that when making demands on children, they should meet the child's psychological and ability level, and after finding problems, adjust them in time, rather than letting children use lies to fight for benefits.
Third, properly meet the reasonable requirements and wishes of the child
If conditions permit, parents should not treat their children harshly, and meet their children's requirements within the scope of their ability, such as toys, stationery, books, etc., which can be bought to their children without conditions.
When a child knows that he can get the above items without lying, he naturally does not have to lie.
Of course, parents should distinguish whether the child's requirements are reasonable or not, and cannot encourage the child to see what he wants.
Honesty is a noble quality, and to be an honest person, it is necessary to cultivate it from an early age. Of course, this is inseparable from the training and guidance of parents.
Parents can tell their children some honest stories, or collect articles on this to deepen their children's understanding of honesty.
You can also chat with your child, by reviewing your own dishonest performance, you can resonate with your child and build your child's trust in yourself.
For children, not lying, not cheating teachers and classmates, not taking other people's things casually, not copying homework, and not cheating on exams are manifestations of honesty.
Hopefully we can all harvest an honest child.