The other day I saw a blogger complain about the difference between grandma and grandma.
He said: Grandma and Grandma have different priorities for considering issues.
This distinction begins after the birth of a child.
The child's grandmother will put her daughter first: you should eat more and rest well, so that the body can recover quickly.
The child's grandmother will put the grandchild first: you don't want to eat anymore, you have to eat, if you don't eat, where is the milk? Without milk, the child will be hungry!
My child is 8 years old, from birth to now, grandma has brought, grandma has also brought, the contrast is very strong.
Of course, I need to say that the following feelings only represent me personally.
If you have a different experience, you are also very welcome to share your story in the comments section.
Now to get down to business.
When the child starts to learn to speak...
Grandma would first teach her children to call Mom and Dad.
Grandma will first teach the child to call Grandma, Grandpa, and Daddy.
My child began to learn the language from the teeth, his grandmother was very persistent in teaching him to call "mother", every day from morning to night, as long as there is a chance to catch the child: "Baby, call the mother!" Mom! ”
After the child clearly shouted "Mom", the child's grandmother began to teach him to call "Daddy".
When it comes to teaching children to talk, grandma is very different.
Grandma will always teach the child: "Quick, call Grandma!" Milk—milk—"
If the child is only called "Mom", Grandma will correct: "Not Mom, it's Grandma, follow me, Milk - Milk -"
It's just a title, but the details still feel quite subtle.
When you see a child naughtily beating up a mother...
When a grandmother sees a child hitting her mother, she will yell at her child: How can you beat your mother?
When grandma sees a child beating her mother, she will laugh: The child is really naughty!
My child was about 2 years old, for a period of time, particularly naughty and willful, very stubborn, sometimes he made mistakes, I criticized him, he would also run over and beat me with a snort.
Often at such times, before I was mad, my mother would catch fire first and train the child.
"How can you beat your mother?" That's Mommy! If you do this again, Grandma is angry! ”
In the same situation, Grandma saw it and would often laugh at the side: "This child is so naughty!" ”
If I yell at my child, his grandmother will say to me, "What angry with a child, he will understand things when he grows up!" ”
However, if you see your grandchildren beating your father, your grandmother will not be calm: "How can you beat your father?" Simply unfilial! ”
When parenting concepts clash...
Grandmothers generally respect their daughter's advice.
Grandma generally likes to follow the old experience.
From the second day of my son's birth, my grandmother began to study scientific parenting with me.
From touching the child, bathing precautions, water temperature and dosage of milk, disinfection of bottles every day, to the addition of complementary foods, language enlightenment, etc., the child's grandmother has learned meticulously.
Occasionally, I will encounter places where people have different concepts.
But the children's grandmothers will respect my advice.
She often said: "Now young people pay attention to scientific parenting, our set is outdated!" ”
However, when carrying a baby with a child's grandmother, it often causes quarrels because of these conflicting concepts.
One of the most common words that Grandma said was: "We are people who come here, you are still too young to understand, and you will feel good in the future!" ”
When the child's father is involved in bringing the baby...
When grandma sees her son-in-law with her baby, she will be happy in her heart.
When Grandma saw her son with a baby, she was distressed and unwilling.
My child's father is usually busy at work, and when he is not busy, he will occasionally take the baby with us.
Every time the child's grandmother saw the child's father playing with the child, she was always very happy, and everyone praised: "My son-in-law is good!" ”
Grandma is different.
Every time she saw the child pestering his father to play, the grandmother immediately went to pull the grandson over: "Don't bother your father, your father is so tired after a day of work, you let him rest well!" Go find your mom! ”
I don't know the above 4, I don't know how many you encountered?
Today's young people, the economic pressure is really great, to take care of work and with a baby, it is very difficult.
The cost of asking a babysitter is too high to guarantee safety.
Therefore, collaborative parenting with the elderly is the parenting model that most families will choose.
The only things that young people can choose, except for grandparents, are grandparents.
Here are 3 small pieces of advice for everyone.
1, if you want to ask the elderly to take the baby together, it is best not to live together.
Many elderly people will favor their children and be too harsh on their son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
Living together, looking up and not looking down, there is constant friction in life, and it is easy to produce contradictions.
Remember a joke I saw before.
An old lady complains to a friend about her daughter-in-law.
She said: My daughter-in-law, really a lazy mother-in-law, does not do anything, sleeps until almost noon on the weekend, gets up, eats a meal, and my son is ready to bring her to the bedside. Why is my son so unlucky to have such a daughter-in-law? ay!
Friend asked: I heard that your daughter is also married?
The old lady immediately raised her eyebrows and smiled: Yes, my daughter is really blessed, married to a good husband, she does not have to do anything at home, sleep on the weekend until she wakes up naturally, my son-in-law will also make a good meal and bring it to the bedside! hey!
Different positions will also have very different feelings.
2, if you must choose, it is best to ask the child's grandparents to help you with the baby.
Nowadays, the main force of many families with babies is mothers.
The child's diet and living, the mother Zhang Luo.
Children's learning, mom tutoring.
The child's psychology, the mother worries.
Therefore, if your mother wants to take her baby to worry and save effort, she must find the most reliable ally - her own parents.
Your parents will feel sorry for you from the bottom of their hearts and will think more about you.
When opinions are at odds, they will also treat you with the utmost respect and will not speculate on you with malice.
With deep love as the foundation, many problems will be solved.
There will be no overnight feuds, nor will we let negative emotions accumulate continuously.
3, please the elderly to help with the baby, the place where the money should be paid must be done.
Although it is their own parents, they must also pay attention to proportions, do not be greedy, and take excessively.
After all, you are married, you have your own family, and the original family, in essence, is two families.
Therefore, in the economy, there must be no confused accounts, what should be calculated must be calculated, and what should be given must also be given.
For example, parents are responsible for buying vegetables and cooking, and living expenses must be given.
For example, during the New Year's Festival, buy some daily necessities for parents and prepare some small gifts or red envelopes.
The old man does not care that you give more or less, but the intention must be conveyed in place.
After all, they have given up their comfortable retirement life and shared the burden of life for you, so please be kind to them.
Write at the end:
In fact, in life, I have also met many very good in-laws.
Just like my neighbor Xiao Zhang, after she gave birth to a baby, her mother-in-law waited for the confinement and brought the baby, in order to let Xiao Zhang rest well, the mother-in-law has been sleeping with the child, and she has to get up three or four times in the middle of the night to milk and feed the child.
Xiao Zhang's husband will lie down on the sofa to play with his mobile phone when he comes home from work, and his mother-in-law will yell at him: "You are all a father, what mobile phone to play, hurry to hold the child, let your wife rest." ”
Xiao Zhang's mother-in-law often said: "I have a son, just this one daughter-in-law, I am not good to her, to whom?" ”
Listened to quite emotional.
In fact, whether it is a grandmother with a baby or a grandmother with a baby, the essential difference is not that it is the grandmother or the grandmother who carries the baby, but whether people are willing to understand each other.
If you can understand each other, you will be happy with your face.
If you only think of the other person as a tool, not a family, it will only be a chicken feather.
Hello everyone, I am a worm mother, a multi-platform original parenting blogger, a middle-aged girl who wrestles with 8-year-old children every day, focusing on sharing dry parenting goods, and the social life observation of an ordinary mother. Pay attention to [bug mother parenting], I am not alone on the road to parenting.