In the past, if parents went out to work, the burden of bringing children would generally fall on grandparents. But now, going out for a spin, I found that the main force with the baby had become my grandmother.
The daughter and son-in-law went to work, and the child was handed over to grandma and grandfather to take. There is also a popular saying in the grandmother circle: "Mother is born, grandmother raises, grandparents come to watch." ”
Why is it that now Grandma has gradually faded out of the ranks of carrying babies, while Grandma has become the main force with babies? In fact, the reason is also very realistic.
Like our female colleagues in the office, nearly half of them are fostering their children with their grandmothers. When the children are going to school, some of them are picked up and brought back by themselves, while some are grandmas who come to help pick them up.
Although Bao Mom also hopes to bring it herself, but the reality is here, many family cars and houses have to be supplied, and if Bao Dad goes to work alone, it is inevitable that he will feel stressed. The couple raised a family together and felt that the happiness index was enough. Moreover, Bao Mom herself does not want to be disconnected from society, and hopes to have her own social circle and life, so many Bao Moms will return to the workplace after giving birth.
And if you want to choose your mother, they will definitely be more willing for their mother to take the child. Because letting the mother-in-law take it, sometimes there will be conflicts due to the concept of parenting. There is a conflict between mother and daughter, just turn your head. But there is a conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and the rift is difficult to repair.
If there are conditions in the family, grandma is willing to help with the child, and more mothers will give the child to the grandmother. Therefore, the phenomenon of grandmothers with babies has been formed today. What is the difference between a grandmother with a baby and a grandmother with a baby?
I personally feel that the main thing is that the family is more harmonious. Because the contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are reduced, the disputes in the family are reduced, and the relationship will be more harmonious.
Speaking between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will inevitably be somewhat restrained, and there will be differences, and it is not convenient for the two sides to point out and say clearly. In this way, contradictions will accumulate, and each will feel that it is difficult to please. And between Bao Mom and her own mother, after all, it is mother and daughter, plus they have been together for decades, and they all know each other's temper.
Even if the talk is a little rushed, there is no overnight feud between mother and daughter, and it will be fine after a while. If the two sides have a conflict of parenting concepts, the two will communicate better and will not cause conflicts due to disagreements. Bao Dad also does not need to make "sandwich cookies", sandwiched in the middle of the two ends of the embarrassment.
Secondly, the mentality of grandma with a baby and a grandma with a baby is different.
For most grandmothers, Bao Ma is actually more like an outsider. This can't be blamed on Grandma, after all, the two didn't have any intersection before, they didn't get along much, and they didn't have a certain mode of getting along. Suddenly becoming a family, whether it is grandma or mom, there is always a distance between the two, not so close.
When the grandmother took the baby, there were always times when it was mainly children. Especially during pregnancy and lactation, grandma will be more concerned about how the child is, than how the mother is.
But when grandma brings a baby, the daughter is her own child, and the grandson is more like an "outsider". Grandma is more concerned about whether her daughter eats well, is uncomfortable, and will be mainly a mother.
In this way, Bao Mom's feelings around the two old people will be different, and she is more willing to help her mother with the baby, so that she will feel that she will not be "wronged".
There is also the fact that Grandma and Grandma have different starting points for considering problems.
Grandma with baby, more is "responsibility". Because the child is his own grandson, no matter how to take the baby is his "duty", he cannot shirk it. Of course, there are also many grandmothers who like children, are willing to take children, and hope to help their sons and daughters-in-law share the pressure.
Therefore, the matter of taking a baby should not be allowed.
And Grandma can choose to bring it or not. After all, in everyone's concept, Grandma and Grandpa have no responsibility to bring a baby.
But many grandmothers, distressed by their daughters, hope that she can live the life she wants, but also hope that she can be financially independent and have confidence in the family. Therefore, even if she is a little tired, she is willing to help her daughter share the burden.
This is the difference between a grandmother with a baby and a grandmother with a baby.
Of course, no matter who brings the baby, it is the intention of the elderly, and they sacrifice their time to help bring the baby in order to share the pressure of the children. In any case, we should be grateful for their hard work, and don't take it for granted.
Many mothers-in-law, even if they treat their daughters-in-law, are like their own daughters, and even in order not to let their daughters-in-law be wronged, they will consider zhou quan's care.
No matter which parent we give our children to, we must be more grateful and considerate of the elderly. Sometimes their ideas are not as advanced as ours, so communicate more and don't blame. Only when a family is harmonious can we be happy and happy.
To whom do you bring your children?
【Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion】