The character of "nest horizontal" is a very annoying personality, and no parent wants his children to become like this. However, in real life, it is not uncommon for children to "nest horizontally and instigate outside".
The child goes out for a second to become a "small bag", but when he returns home, he becomes a "small bully"
When it comes to Wenwen, my mother is very helpless, because when my mother takes Wenwen out, Wenwen always looks scared, it seems that when she leaves the house, she will arrive at the "land of tigers and wolves", and any strange environment will make Wenwen become cringe and shrink.
For example, once, the mother brought Wenwen to the square of the community, where there were many children playing, one of them looked younger than Wenwen, when he took the initiative to invite Wenwen to play, Wenwen actually looked very cramped and looked scared.
This kind of performance makes the mother feel very embarrassed, wenwen this child is a little too "recognized".
But after returning home, Wenwen completely changed his appearance. For example, when Wen Wen wanted to drink water, he did not pour water at all, but made his grandparents call, if the grandparents moved slowly, it was terrible, Wen Wen was like how much grievance, immediately cried and made a fuss, like a little bully.
Once, Wen Wen did not want to wash his face after getting up in the morning, so his mother coaxed Wen Wen to wash his face, but Wen Wen said that he would not wash anything.
The mother feels that since the child is not willing to wash his face, then help the child wash it, but when the mother takes the face towel and just wipes Wen Wen's face, Wen Wen is not happy, crying and having to make the original face, which can make the mother depressed, this is not intentional to find trouble.
But there was no way, the mother had to pretend to give Wen Wenwen a buckle on his face with his hand, indicating that he had taken the washed face back, and Wen Wen stopped crying.
Wenwen who returned home really made her mother sad and troubled, and her mother was also very distressed by Wenwen's personality. However, Wenwen's mother never thought that in fact, the reason why Wenwen formed such a character was because of the wrong education of parents.
Children's "nest horizontal, outside instigation" is not a recognition of birth, mostly because of the parents' education problems
Parents are too doting on their children
Wen Wen was the only son in the family, so when Wen Wen was born, the elders in the family were very happy. On the road of Wenwen's growth, there is not only the love of mother and father, but also the attention from grandparents and grandparents, and even aunts and uncles are very pampered wenwen and treat Wenwen as their own children.
In such an environment, every parent's love for their children can not be expressed, naturally will not criticize the child.
Therefore, when Wenwen has some misconduct, no one goes to educate and guide, but the needs of Wenwen are scrambled by parents to meet, which eventually leads to Wenwen living in a doting environment for a long time, and gradually becomes a bit "nest and outside"
[Tutu Dad's suggestion]: Do not spoil the child too much, coddling is not really love the child, but a kind of restriction and destruction of the child's ability. Therefore, parents should care for their children objectively and be good at guiding their children to grow, rather than blindly meeting their children's needs.
Different parents "teach their own"
In some families, the educational concept of children for different parents is not the same, and this differentiated educational concept will affect the formation of children's views on right and wrong and values.
For example, many young parents now manage their children more severely, but the elderly parents manage their children more loosely.
Once the elderly parents see that the young parents are too strict with their children, they may "dismantle the stage halfway". For example, the father does not let the child play with the mobile phone, but the grandmother takes the initiative to play with the child's mobile phone at this time, which will lead to contradictions in education, the child can not distinguish who is right and who is wrong, and will also lead the child to establish a wrong view of right and wrong and values.
In addition, the child will also get a feeling of "having a backer" because of this, thus becoming "nesting and outside".
[Tutu Dad's suggestion]: Each parent must unify the educational concept, maintain the consistency of educational output, and let the child receive a unified educational concept, so that the child will grow more healthily.
Do not pay attention to the development of children's social skills
Some children are outside, in fact, not because the children are really instigated, but because the children do not know how to "not instigate".
In fact, the child's communication ability is too weak, resulting in the child's inability to communicate with people naturally.
The child himself is actually more eager for high-quality communication, but due to the lack of communication ability, the more the child cherishes a certain communicative behavior, or the more respectful he is for a certain communicative object, the more difficult it is for the child to communicate with the other party, and it will be very intimidating.
In addition, because the child himself can not achieve the ideal purpose of communication, so the child will produce some negative emotions, and these emotions will be expressed when separated from the external communication scene, simply put, the child will pour out his negative emotions to the parents, which is also manifested as "nest horizontal, outside instigation".
[Tutu Dad suggests]: Parents should pay attention to the cultivation of children's social skills, do not think that the child's social skills are "home", in fact, if the child can cultivate higher social skills from an early age, then it will be of great benefit to the child's learning and life and even future work.
Lack of companionship for children
There is also a very realistic reason why children are "nested and outside", that is, parents have too little companionship for their children.
Children lack of parental companionship for a long time, will make children lack of security, when the child's sense of security is insufficient, children will use some of their own ways to improve their sense of security, but these ways may not be able to be understood by parents.
For example, children deliberately make parents, in fact, they want to have more contact with parents and let parents accompany them more, so as to get more sense of security.
This phenomenon is often mistaken by parents as children's disobedience, in fact, this is a manifestation of children's love for parents.
[Tutu Dad's suggestion]: Parent-child companionship is a very important kind of tutoring behavior in the process of children's growth, and it is an important way for children to obtain a sense of security, so parents should pay attention to accompanying their children in their leisure time, making friends with children every day, encouraging children more, so that children become more confident and more secure.
epilogue
Children's "nest horizontal, outside instigation" is essentially due to the parents' tutoring negligence, so when the child appears in the "nest horizontal, outside instigation" situation, parents should no longer simply be dissatisfied with the child, but to introspect themselves, find their own problems, correct in time, to avoid negative impact on the child.
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