In the past years, family conditions were limited, and each family had more than one baby, as long as they could eat enough, and other needs were luxuries for children. But now the living environment is changing, the economic conditions are also changing, children are exposed to more and more new things, and their ideological concepts are completely different. If parents use the method of crying poor education that they think is effective, the result may not only fail to serve the purpose of education, but will affect the child's life.
In "Teenagers Say", a middle school student complained that he had been educated by his parents to cry poorly, the 15-year-old boy said, because his parents always said that there was no money in the family. Growing up, he often wore clothes that were eliminated by his friends and family children, and from childhood to adulthood, his toys were pitifully few, buying a beloved toy, and he was worried that the next day the whole family would not have money to eat.
Not only that, under the influence of his parents' crying poor education, the boy often worried about his tuition fees, and he often had low self-esteem because his family was poor. Until junior high school, he accidentally discovered that his father opened a company, and his family was not as poor as his parents said. The boy standing on the stage wanted his mother to give him more pocket money in the future, but his mother refused on the spot.
His mother told him that even if there is money in the family, his parents can earn it, and he can't ask his parents for it, and he needs to work hard to earn money when he grows up.
The starting point of this mother can be understood, in order to let the child know how to be diligent and thrifty, spend money and be moderate. However, deliberately crying poverty brings children a lack of security, suffering from gains and losses, anxiety, and inferiority.
Many parents rely on crying to prevent them from meeting expectations every time when their children make demands, but the result is that they prematurely burden their children with heavy burdens. Even after accepting what your parents bought, you feel guilty, and the harm caused by poor education is unimaginable, and even a lifetime cannot be recovered.
Crying poor education brings harm to children
As children get older, so do their needs, and they make material demands from their parents, snacks, toys, or nice dresses.
Although people's living standards can now meet their daily needs, many parents are worried that their children will develop bad habits of spending a lot of money. Therefore, it has always advocated thriftiness and deliberately limited the requirements of children, and many parents have no money at home and cannot afford to buy it.
In this way, on the surface, it seems to save money, and it is also passed on to the child's sense of thrift, but the harm to the child may be difficult to recover in a lifetime.
Hurt one: Parents deliberately cry poor, children are inferior and sensitive
Whether in kindergarten or school, the child's world is also a small society, and if the need is always rejected by the parents, it is necessary to receive a crying education. Make the child subconsciously think that he is different from other partners, the family conditions are poor, he does not have the ability to have a good, nor does he deserve to have a good material and life, and the feeling of inferiority arises spontaneously.
Because poverty creates stress, children are reluctant to approach others, fear being ridiculed, and become extremely sensitive, which is not conducive to interpersonal communication.
Hurt two: cry poor education, so that children have no pattern
Children are often indoctrinated by their parents with the concept of poverty, have no sense of security in their hearts, will calculate money in everything they do, become calculating, short-sighted, and narrow-minded.
Even if you don't lack money when you grow up, you are easy to become stingy, and when you encounter money, you are extremely careful to weigh the pros and cons, and there is no pattern.
Harm three: Cry poor education, so that children do not know how to rationally dispose of money
From an early age, it has been in a state of material and money deprivation, and there is no concept of correctly controlling money, leaving a very important seed of money in the child's heart, and it is easy to form bad values.
Once you have money, it is difficult to dispose of it reasonably, and there will be retaliatory consumption, filling the vacancies and inferiority of childhood. In such a situation, it is easy to lose yourself, and even lose your principles for money without a bottom line, and be "driven" by money.
Guide children to correct money concept education
Whether materially poor or rich, children should be guided to a correct view of money, first of all, to convey an optimistic and positive attitude.
Material poverty is not terrible, what is terrible is that parents always infiltrate poverty into the child's mind, so that the child bears the burden of the heart that does not fit the age. Not only are material needs unmet, but the inner world becomes barren.
If the parents are all optimistic and positive, facing life positively, the child will also be affected by a full heart, positive person. Will not be defeated by the poverty of life, and will not be inferior to this, can only make him work harder to change the status quo, in the effort to feel the beauty of life.
If it is true that the economic conditions are limited, in the face of requirements beyond the scope of ability, parents should be sincere, there are many needs in the growth of children are normal, parents should also be properly satisfied.
However, if it has exceeded the family's financial ability, it should be honest with the child, discuss a reasonable solution, or delay the satisfaction when you have the ability.
When there is no ability to meet the needs of children, blaming or crying poor will only bring negative emotions and self-esteem will be hurt.
Parents should let their children understand that in life money is only a tool, not the whole of life, not the most important thing in life, many things that money can not buy, such as health and affection and so on.
Pass on to children to spend money in useful places, cultivate the habit of reasonable consumption and self-discipline. If you cry poor in order to limit the needs of children, eventually children will not become frugal, but will be stimulated to a strong desire to buy, consumption will be suppressed for a long time, and it is likely to make extreme behaviors when seizing the opportunity.
When it comes to money related to children's needs, parents reasonably meet and treat rationally and frankly according to the family's economic situation, in order to pass on the child's reasonable concept of consumption and the correct concept of money.
Pillow Parenting Message:
Many parents are worried that their children will be spoiled, although the economic conditions are not bad, and it is inevitable that in order to hinder their children's consumption, they will use the method of crying poor education. The final result seems to educate a child who knows frugality and "understands things", which will actually make the child feel inferior, and there is no pattern of doing things or even reasonable control of money, and the gains are not worth the losses. Therefore, instead of crying poor, it is better to cultivate children's correct consumption concept and money concept, and pass on the awareness of facing life positively.
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