Take Yumi downstairs for a walk and find that several mothers-in-law in the community are getting together to comfort Grandma Coco. Looking closer, the old lady had obviously cried and her eyes were red.
It turned out that the grandmother took Coco to the supermarket, and the child was very hungry when he saw the rainbow candy. Coco has been quitting sugar for a long time because of caries, and the child begged Grandma with his eyes: "Grandma, you can buy me one, I will eat one, and the rest I will smell, not eat much." I'll eat one, just one..."
Which grandmother could stand this soft talk, so the two grandchildren bought a box of candy, and Coco did speak and ate one.
But the problem is this box of sugars. When the daughter-in-law came home from work, she found a box full of sugar in Coco's pocket, which exploded in an instant. Ask the child where the sugar comes from and how much is eaten? Then he said angrily: "Mom, didn't you tell you not to buy her candy?" How to buy again? The teeth have caries, why don't you pay attention? ”
Grandma said: "The child is very well-behaved, saying that he only ate one and did not eat much." ”
The daughter-in-law directly replied: "This is not a problem of one or two at all, this is a matter of principle, before we all agreed not to let the child eat sugar?" We adults have rebelled, how can children abide by the principles in the future? ”
"I have a principle, the child said to eat one, we only ate one, abide by the agreement." Grandma was aggrieved back.
"What principle is this? I see your principle is to indulge, to indulge infinitely! ”
After arguing with her daughter-in-law, the grandmother, who had nowhere to solve it, secretly went downstairs to cry by herself, and only then did she have the opening scene. Grandma Coco blushed and said, "I really understand now that my mother-in-law will never become a mother, and my daughter-in-law can't be a daughter." ”
After listening to the causes and consequences, some heartache and some helplessness. Grandma hurts her granddaughter, mom sticks to principles, and both seem to be right. But looking at an old man who came to Beijing thousands of miles to help his son with a baby, but cried red eyes, to be honest, it was still a little painful.
Is it really a joy for an old man to bring a baby?
There is a poem that plays oil, which vividly expresses the bitterness of the old man with a baby:
It's the host, it doesn't count; it's the guest, do whatever you want;
It's a nanny, not a penny earned; volunteers, no one likes;
Get up early, for fear of interrupting people's good dreams; get up a little, for fear of delaying people's meals;
Do more, just afraid of practicing things; do less, and afraid of filling the stomach with dissatisfaction;
I'm holding a baby, people eat, people eat, I eat.
Get up the earliest, sleep the latest, be tired and willing.
I have to admit that the process of the old man with the baby is really quite tiring. I took Yumi myself for a day, I had to go crazy several times, and Grandma Youmi was stunned that she was angry and crying, and she didn't get angry with the child.
We always take it for granted that the elderly with their babies are enjoying "heavenly things". But you know what? Shenzhen's early education institutions once did a survey, and 70% of the elderly chose to bring their grandchildren out of helplessness. Most of them are distressed that their sons and daughters work hard, so they prefer to be tired themselves and hope that the children can be more relaxed.
This is why this oil poem ends up saying, "Tired and tired, willing." ”
The 3-point feelings of the elderly resonate
After listening to the old people in the pile for a while, I found that the old people around me were still quite powerful. These grandmothers come from all over the country, take their grandchildren during the day, clean up the house, and have to cook for their sons and daughters-in-law. At night, my son and daughter-in-law work overtime and have to continue to take the baby. Children who are sensible give 3,000 or 4,000 pocket money every month, and those who do not understand things are free labor.
Talk to them and you will find that the old people still have some feelings about their current life:
Living in his son's house is always an outsider
Grandma Youyou comforted Grandma Coco and said, "Remember, we just came to help, bring them children, and lighten the burden." When the children are older, we will definitely return to our own lives. Although the words are not good, don't be too sad, for children we are outsiders. ”
Grandma Coco was a little intolerant: "I'm 62 years old, I've crossed most of China, come and bring him a baby, he treats me like an outsider?" Subsequently, several grandmothers launched a defense against "whether to be an outsider".
But youyou Grandma's words made me think deeply, I found that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the community is good, and the old people seem to have an "outsider mentality".
Take Grandma Youyou as an example, she also had a disagreement with her daughter-in-law because she fed Youyou, and the old man was afraid that the child would not have enough to feed, but the daughter-in-law would rather let the child be hungry and do it herself. After a long time, as soon as the child went to the meal point, he went to find the grandmother, so the grandmother did not say less than the daughter-in-law. But Grandma Youyou's mentality is very good, she said: "Next year the child will go to kindergarten, I will go back." Each of them lives their own lives, and they will have to come and go in the future, what is there to argue about? ”
I have to sigh, the old lady lives through!
A daughter-in-law is not a daughter-in-law
This sentiment comes from Yiyi's grandmother. Yiyi's father is a programmer, usually very busy at work, and his income is not bad. The husband's high income gives Yiyi's mother the confidence to spend money, and skin care products, clothes, makeup, and children's toys are delivered almost every day.
The old man said in secret that there are enough clothes and toys for children, and they can't put them in the buyer, but the effect is not good. She thought that she had always regarded her daughter-in-law as a daughter-in-law, so she didn't think much about it, and talked to her daughter-in-law directly and honestly, telling her: "The cost of the family is quite large, and some unnecessary things should not be bought again." ”
The daughter-in-law also agreed in person, but after two days the son came to him, "You don't care about Jingjing spending money, I don't want to make money for her mother." How much can those things cost? ”
The son's words made the old lady very hurt, originally out of good intentions to let the daughter-in-law pay attention to the cost, who knows the daughter-in-law misunderstood.
Afterwards, the old lady complained to her old sister: "The daughter-in-law is not a daughter-in-law, and I can still scold her daughter-in-law." People's girlfriends, remind them to think more. ”
Raising a baby is the most invested, and it is also the most complained about
Listening to the complaints of the old sisters, Grandma Guagua said: "You guys are nothing, I can't stand my hard work and hard work, and I am still complained." ”
It turned out that when Grandma was cooking some time ago, Guagua accidentally pushed the kettle down and her feet were burned. The son and daughter-in-law came back and criticized the old man fiercely.
The old man said that the kettle was actually put there by the son, and generally guagua would not go to that place, but on the day of the accident, the child climbed over. I also blame myself for not being careful, letting the child suffer such a big crime, although I feel very remorseful in my heart, but after being trained by my daughter-in-law and son, the old man is still very aggrieved.
Guagua has been a high-demand baby since childhood, almost hanging on to her grandmother. Every time I go out to play, the other children take a stroller, and only Guagua wants Grandma to hold it. The old lady often said: "The hard work of taking this child can bring up 2 children of others!" ”。 So I understand Grandma Guagua's grievances very well.
The old people sat in the pile for half a day, and suddenly found that their requirements for young people were really not harsh. It is nothing more than not to treat the mother-in-law too much as an outsider, it is best to say anything in person, and try not to speak through the husband. (To tell the truth, the husband is really a sharp weapon to intensify the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.) ）
We also have negative emotions when we bring our own babies, not to mention the elderly whose receptive ability and mobility are slowing down. I have to say that chatting with the elderly also allowed me to see a lot of problems that I had never paid attention to before, write them out and share them with the young parents in front of the screen.
They originally had their own lives, but in order to reduce our burden, they came thousands of miles to take their babies, and they were not familiar with life. We still have jobs and colleagues, and their world is only the little baby who does not understand the world, even if it is a little negligence, even if something is wrong. I hope that after reading this article, you and I can be more tolerant, less complaining, and encourage together.