The family is the photocopier, the parents are the originals, and the children are the copies. If there is a problem with the photocopy, then we must go back to the original to find the problem.
Yu Minhong once said that he inherited his father's generosity and learned the spirit of perseverance and perseverance from his mother, "It was my parents who made me." ”
Because yu Minhong, who came from a rural area and entered Peking University to study, was depressed for a time due to non-standard Mandarin, poor family and poor image, he was once depressed and "almost depressed", and later he worked hard to read and slowly overcame his demons.
It is the teacher who teaches, but it must be the parents who educate the people. Yu Minhong firmly believes that the quality of parents determines the life of a child.
Using his own personal example and the educational methods of Dr. Jeon Hye-sung, the "chief mother of Korea", he suggested that parents should know how to develop themselves, not only have the ability to raise their children, but also have the ability to guide their children.
Every child is a special individual
"South Korea's chief mother" Jeon Hye-sung trained all six children to become doctors from Harvard University and Yale University, and after graduation, they served as professors and deans of famous universities and assistant to the White House Health Minister in the United States.
Dr. Quan Huixing was inspired by the study of ancient Chinese culture, and there is a Chinese saying that "kung fu is outside poetry", and the application of her educational method is that kung fu is outside "learning".
She often trains her children to maintain a "zero thinking" state for more than ten minutes. This strong ability to enter the quiet improves the ability to control the brain's thinking activities, so that children are highly concentrated when learning, greatly improve the learning efficiency, exert their intelligence to the extreme, and lay a solid foundation for their future success.
Jeon Hye-sung believes that every child is a "special" individual with its own unique elements. The most important thing parents need to do is to let their children have a strong body, have a strong learning ability and a strong desire to become a big person.
With these three points, a child with ordinary talent will also become a successful person.
Education without rules affects the growth of children
Chinese parents do not do a good job of principles and rules in educating their children.
No rules, no talent. Parents without principles, educate children without principles, and lose the respect their children have for them. Children need principles, which give them the soil to grow. Unprincipled children often run into walls, lose their sense of security, and thus lose their initiative.
Principles and rules must be based on correct values, otherwise they will form a confrontation with the masses and be excluded. "After the principles and rules must be left for the child to fly. For birds, the rule is not to cut off the wings, but the direction of flight. ”
Encourage education: There should be constructive criticism and punishment
Now Chinese parents advocate encouraging education, and it is very important to encourage education, but encouraging education cannot fall into misunderstanding. Encouraging education is not to not punish and not criticize children, but to criticize constructively, so that children are not afraid in the face of failure and setbacks.
"Foreign countries encourage the process, but we in China encourage the results." Different ways of encouraging Chinese and foreign education have cultivated different talents.
Teachers generally praise students who are in the top grades, and middle and late students are often not encouraged. In fact, if a student goes from 20 to 40 points, the progress is great.
There is a black female teacher in the United States who works as a teacher in a school in a slum, but her students have entered prestigious universities in the United States, and everyone is curious about how she did it.
One of the students in the black female teacher's class, only two of the twenty math problems were correct, and the female teacher added 2 points to him and drew a smiley face.
The student found the teacher and asked if the teacher was insulting himself, "Of course, it is not an insult to you, you did two problems correctly, it is better than not doing one right, I hope you do the right four questions next time, so I will draw you two smiling faces." Encouraged, the latecomer later became the best student in the class in mathematics through hard work and was admitted to a famous school in the United States.
"The most important thing to encourage education is to use it in times of frustration and failure." Encouraging education is not to cover up the shortcomings of children, but to face up to their own shortcomings and work hard. A better approach is to encourage the efforts your child puts in and what they can control.
Encouragement focuses on the process, which is to recognize the efforts of the child, while praise only recognizes the results.
Good reading habits are essential
Parents should help their children develop good reading habits, "If from the birth of the child to the age of eight, parents read with their children for half an hour every day, after the age of eight, the future development of such children does not need parents to worry." ”
Many people say that Chinese and Jews are intelligent peoples, but the good reading habits of Chinese have slowly been lost, and what is shocking is that almost every Jews have a collection of 2,000 books, and the screen at the entrance is full of books.
Education is the cultivation of habits, repetition into habits, habits into nature, nature into personality, personality into destiny.
Help your child build their dreams
Parents should help their children build their dreams, not force interests. Dreams are the driving force for a child's lifelong development, a yearning for the unknown world, and a transcendence of the limits of life. The highest scores and prestigious universities are just the goals.
Starting from your child's interests and hobbies, let the child make their own decisions and learn what they really love in their hearts. Be able to foresee the future at the expense of the present pleasure; be curious and enthusiastic about exploring the unknown.
Parents are advised to share "quality time" with their children. When you are with your children, you will educate them in their mood and temperament, shape their healthy and happy personality, positive attitude, broad mind and perseverance spirit, open up a broader sky of thought, let children gain the ability to educate themselves, and cultivate more perfect and sustainable people.
The nine most important qualities for children's growth
For Chinese children, the most important thing is to cultivate nine qualities, namely: sincere and noble personality, cheerful and open-minded personality, diligent and upward attitude, independent and brave spirit, dare to bear hardships, not afraid of failure, good at communication ability, tolerant and generous in the world, lifelong dependence skills.
In American research on children, there are seven elements of success: perseverance, self-control, gregariousness, enthusiasm, gratitude, optimism, and curiosity. "Towards a long-term goal, stick to your passion, even after failure, you can still persevere in the effort, this quality is called perseverance." Willpower is embodied in the ability to control themselves, and children with self-control are prone to success in the future.
To be a perfect person, we need to cultivate a sense of personal responsibility, family responsibility, social responsibility and historical responsibility.
Schools should explore an operational system of core values and need to cultivate IQ: learning ability, examination ability, research ability; emotional intelligence: being trusted, good at sharing, and helpful; reverse quotient: resistance to blows and self-encouragement in the face of difficulties, setbacks, failures, etc.
Parents should do: true love, not coddling; respect, not fear; rules, not scolding; encouragement, not sarcasm.
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