If I can raise my children again,
I'll squat down and talk softly.
I would put my thumb up more and use my index finger less.
I will give more smiles to the child.
I will look at the score less with my eyes,
See the advantages with more eyes.
I'll pay attention to a little less blame,
And go and care a little more.
I'll collect the face of the plate,
And become a child's playmate,
Run the wilderness with your children to see the stars.
I'll push him out the door early...
Even though I was heartbroken.
I will hug more and support less.
I no longer pursue the love of rights,
I will imitate the power of love.
If......
I know that there is no if,
I no longer regret my past actions, change, start now!
With this article,
Dedicated to all parents.
In "Spiritual Journey", the little fish swims to the side of the old fish and asks: Where is the ocean? I want to swim to what people call the ocean.
Old Fish: Ocean? But you're in the ocean right now!"
Little Fish: Here? It's just water, what I want is the ocean.
As a result, the little fish has been pursuing the distant ocean, but ignoring every moment that should be cherished.
On the way to raising children, I seem to be the little fish, missing countless presents that could have done better for an uncertain future.
In June and July, the mood is like a roller coaster, anxious and restless. The child was finally admitted to Soochow University, and my joy was not inferior to regret. I am infinitely remorseful for those parenting pasts, and we as parents could have done better.
One
September 1, 2009. Your child is in the first grade of primary school.
In fact, he is only 5 years old, many toys and games have not been played well, and he has not had time to cast a curious eye on the nature around him. However, because no one took him, I sent him early into the first grade class.
Originally, I thought that preschool was similar to the first grade, but it was just a matter of playing in another place. But later, I really experienced that once the child enters the first grade and starts running, he will not allow you to slack off, let alone stop.
In the past half a semester, the bear child has been "summoned" by the teacher for many reasons such as not being able to recite, not being able to write silently, and not doing well in the exam, and every time I see the bear child standing in front of the teacher trembling, that pitiful look (sometimes crying very wronged), I blame myself.
When I finally went to the classroom again to retrieve the left bear child, I thought bitterly: I can't be so far behind anymore, I have to catch up. Catching up means we have to spend more time and energy after school than other children on so-called learning.
Later, although the score came up, we paid a huge price for it, especially later, the child has always considered himself a middle school student, far less confident, sunny, relaxed, and stretched than other children.
If I can raise my kids again. I must follow the laws of education. Never let him go to school a year earlier, or even another year (if possible)!
Children must not go to school early, especially boys! Later, the child's mind and understanding will be enhanced, learning will be easier, coping with various problems will be more comfortable, the state of life will be more relaxed, more stretched, and the whole person will be more confident.
Two
September 1, 2014. The child enters the sixth grade.
In this year, teachers' inter-school exchanges began to be implemented, so there was a flow of teachers in and out. As a result of the new teacher, the sixth graders regrouped. Out of attachment to the former class teacher I was already familiar with, I found the school leader to transfer the bear child to the class of the original class teacher. The leader did not explicitly refuse, but also did not explicitly agree. However, I was wishful thinking, and after consulting with the class teacher, I transferred the child from class (2) to class (6). Later, about the time there were too many people applying for transfers that caused management problems, the school counted one by one, and my bear children were counted out and stood outside the classroom at a loss.
Perhaps it was the psychological shadow that the incident brought to the child, and later, he always seemed to be reluctant to go to strange places. When we went to Xuzhou, and later when we had the chance to go to the south, he would tearfully beg us not to go. That look of fear and panic has always been engraved in my heart...
If I can raise my kids again. I will definitely set an example for him to follow discipline and rules and avoid embarrassing him for being punished by the rules. Allowing them to grow up in a free, relaxed, and happy environment is more important than anything else.
Three
August 2020. Bear child senior year.
As soon as my studies began, I bought a small set of small tables and stools from the Internet that I thought were beautiful and practical, thinking that a stool with a leather cushion would be more comfortable to sit on than the original bench. Who knows, one day the bear child sat down with an ass, and one leg of the stool fell apart, resulting in a fracture of the tail vertebrae, and the doctor said to lie on the bed for rest. But how can a fiery senior in high school lie in bed at home?! I could only grit my teeth and insist on going to the classroom to listen to the lesson, until I sat on three bad air cushions and my ass got better.
Late April 2021. Less than 2 months before the college entrance examination.
This period of time for every high school student, is a purgatory, in addition to the intense review of the exam, but also to prepare a variety of materials for "comprehensive evaluation", to choose the declaration school, to carry out online registration, material upload, etc. According to the specific situation of the child, we chose Nanjing University of Information Science and Technology, spent a certain amount of time and energy to prepare various materials for the three years of high school, and looked forward to passing the audit and obtaining the channel of comprehensive evaluation and admission.
It was hard to wait for the review to pass, but - but we were negligent because of all kinds of busyness, and even missed the confirmation - not confirming, it is equivalent to automatically giving up the previous multi-day comprehensive evaluation channel that we had been thinking about.
Every moment I think of it after that is self-condemning, especially on the first day of the college entrance examination, when the child feels very bad.
If I can raise my kids again. I will definitely take care to keep the bear child's health and every important thing in mind. Never casually treat every detail of life, and must spend the greatest energy to do the most important things related to the growth of children to the best, without regrets.
If I can raise my kids again. I will definitely start when he was a child and take him into the corners of nature whenever I have time. Let his curious nature moisten in observing all things in heaven and earth. As the sculptor Rodin said, you ask me where I learned to carve, I look at trees in the deep forest, I look at clouds on the road, I study models in the carving room, I learn everywhere, but I am not in school.
If I can raise my kids again. I will make sure that we live in every detail as much as possible. Let a specific "little flower" bloom every day of life, which is far more important than telling the big truth ten thousand times. Every little thing in life, we try our best to be a good example of action in front of our children, I believe he will see it in his eyes and remember it in his heart.
If I can raise my kids again. I must have tried to make him understand the law of survival of the fittest in nature. Let him understand that a seed can only grow into what he likes if he is buried in the soil and only after struggling with himself.
If I can raise my kids again. I must train him to fall in love with a certain sport, and train this sport into a specialty, to strengthen the body first, forging willpower second. Because only a strong physique and strong willpower can cross the barriers on the road to growth.
If I can raise my kids again. I must give him my love infinitely, not compared to other people's children. Focus only on my child himself, infinitely appreciate the advantages, and slowly abandon the shortcomings. In this life, he is unique to me, no matter how slowly he grows, he also believes that there will always be a flowering period.
Recite this poem by Diane Lenmans, and from this moment on, raise our children for the rest of our lives.
If I could raise my children again, I would squat down and speak softly.
…………
I would collect my face and become a playmate for my children.
If, no if!
I have to change from now on.
What do you think about that?