Recently, a case caused by "bear child" attracted attention, and once rushed to the first place in the hot search!
On May 2, the C6276 train from Emeishan to Guangyuan was speeding on the tracks. A woman travels alone on a high-speed train, with 5 people sitting in the back seat, 2 adults with 3 children. The children had been playing games and hit the woman's seat back several times.
The girl was overwhelmed and turned around to stop the child's behavior. But I didn't expect that the parents of the children not only did not teach the children, but also were very dissatisfied with the girls, saying, "What's the matter, they are children, as for them, they can't talk well." An altercation ensued.
The conductor rushed to mediate, the child's parents asked the girl to change seats, the girl resolutely refused, and cursed, and the child's mother slapped the girl in the face. The girl was even more angry and returned the hand.
Image from the Internet
After the high-speed train arrived, the child's parents called the police. The police asked the girl if she would like to settle, the girl strongly disagreed, and finally the police defined the incident as a "mutual assault", and the girl was fined 200 yuan and the child's parents 500 yuan.
Image from the Internet
The girl was so upset with the outcome that she spoke out on social media and said she had applied for an administrative review with the help of a lawyer friend.
The woman's voice on social media, the picture comes from the Internet
01. Behind the "bear children" there are often "bear parents"
This seems to be a small matter, but it has sparked a lot of discussion, because 2 of them poked at the sore spot of netizens.
First, the "bear child" is really too annoying, and the "bear parent" behind the "bear child" is even more hateful!
Many people have encountered "bear children" in public, they do not obey public order, make loud noises, run around, seriously affecting other people; They throw garbage and throw objects from the balcony of their homes.
They also trample the lawn at will, picking flowers from the community and park; They press elevator buttons, ring neighbor's doorbells, graffiti on public facilities ... Many people hate the "bear child" to the point of itching their teeth!
Moreover, when people want to negotiate with the parents of "bear children", they often find that "a bear and a nest", the child's "bear" is not without reason - their parents are also "bear", and it also makes people hate their teeth!
Image from the Internet
Indeed, from the point of view of scientific spiritual psychology, the formation of "bear children" is often due to wrong family education. There must be at least one of the parents of "bear children", or elders who often take care of children, who always do not abide by public order and moral norms, have a strong personality, are unreasonable, and even arrogant.
Man is a social animal, and our growth process is actually a process of socialization. Observing public order, moral norms, and empathy for others are important contents of socialization. Most people are well socialized under the influence of their families, schools and society, consciously abide by public order and moral norms, and occasionally have shame when they violate them.
But some people, although they have reached adulthood and received compulsory education, have not yet completed socialization. When they have children, they continue to indulge in their animal instincts and do whatever they want, regardless of the feelings of the people around them or the specific place they are in.
When the "bear child" causes trouble, these parents or elders will protect the calf, "TA is still just a child, how can you do this?" ”。 Children do not need to be criticized and accused, do not have to bear the consequences, they can easily form a wrong cognition: I am a child, can be protected and accommodated; I'm not wrong, it's the adults who are wrong, and I don't have to take responsibility.
Such children not only do not know wrong, but also have no awareness and ability to reflect and self-reflect. If the "bear child" has been growing up like this, it is easy to appear paranoid personality, manifested as flying and domineering, paranoid and stubborn, easy to have contradictions and conflicts with others, and impulsive and irritable.
The more frequently they quarrel with others, the more anger accumulates in their hearts, forming a large number of superimposed psychological traumas, it is very likely that paranoid personality changes will occur, and if they develop further, paranoid personality disorder will appear.
Image from the Internet
As they continue to conflict with people, almost everyone does not like to get along with them, they encounter obstacles everywhere in school, life and work, and they never reflect on their own problems, their anger and dissatisfaction will generalize, thinking that there are problems in the whole society, and there is no good person in this society.
At this time, paranoid personality disorder is likely to develop into antisocial personality disorder, such patients are extremely harmful to society, and when they lose their minds and emotional control, they may indiscriminately harm innocent people, and they themselves will go to a dead end.
Just like in January this year, at the most prosperous intersection in Guangzhou, a man drove a BMW straight into a dense pedestrian crossing the road, killing 5 and injuring 13. This is not an impulse, a whim, but a typical way of committing crimes for people with antisocial personality disorder.
Many murderers and offenders in news hot spots are often paranoid personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder patients. The reason why they embarked on the road of breaking the law and committing crimes is related to their long-term living in their native families and the family education they have received.
Those who wish to be parents must have this awareness, and they must strive to have self-reflection awareness and ability, and not be "bear parents"; When children make mistakes, discipline children in time, guide them to self-reflection, correct them in time, and bear corresponding responsibilities.
Otherwise, these "bear children" may be on the hot search again because they were naughty and naughty on the high-speed train when they were children, and they may be on the hot search again when they grow up because of extreme crimes. Effective socialization must be carried out early, otherwise it will be difficult to correct when they grow up.
Even if children grow up without sin, parents suffer when they have the strength to confront them. Just like a video that went viral on the Internet before, a child violently beat his parents in a mobile phone store because his parents did not buy him a mobile phone. Everyone says that this child is a white-eyed wolf, but in fact, the biggest root of the problem lies in the way his parents are educated.
02. Whether it is "legitimate defense" or "mutual beating", public opinion is very important
Another hotly debated point in the "high-speed rail bear child" incident was that after the girl refused to settle, the local police defined the case as "mutual assault".
For this point, not only the girl is dissatisfied, but many netizens are also dissatisfied: I was beaten and returned my hand, this is a mutual beating, to be punished? Can you only lie flat if you are beaten in the future?
Whether the girl's counterhand is "legitimate defense" or "mutual beating" is a legal concept, not my area of expertise, and I have no say. But I support the girl's administrative review, and I hope that the higher authorities will deal with it fairly.
In the Internet era of "watching to change China", the voice of the public may influence the final result to some extent.
The "Kunshan knife slashing case" in August 2018 is a typical example. Kunshan Brother Long had a dispute with Yu Haiming, a man riding a bicycle, and Brother Long took out a knife and slashed at the other party, but accidentally dropped the knife to the ground. In a panic, Yu Haiming quickly picked up the knife and counterattacked Long Ge, who still pounced and wanted to beat him, and finally Long Ge was stabbed several times and died.
This incident caused heated discussions at the time, and everyone knew that Yu Haiming was detained, and they all held grievances for him. In the end, his counterattack was characterized as "legitimate defense" and he was acquitted.
Therefore, although the legal distinction between "legitimate defense" and "mutual assault" is very complicated, the general public does not understand. But in the minds of the public, others beat me when they were at fault, and I can't fight back, which is unacceptable.
Therefore, it is hoped that the relevant departments will carefully review this case, and even more carefully consider the legal definitions of "legitimate defense" and "mutual assault", so as to achieve a better balance in line with the spirit of the law, contributing to social stability and echoing public opinion.
Even if the law is difficult to improve for a while, I hope that the relevant departments can consider whether the rules and regulations of high-speed rail and other transportation can be improved.
Recently, there was news that because of an argument between three men and women on a plane flight, after the passengers voted, they were all taken away by the security personnel, and it can be said that they were voted by the passengers to "drive away".
Although this method is controversial, if the "bear children" and "bear parents" can immediately accept the relevant punishment when they commit a mistake and face the corresponding consequences, I believe they will converge a lot.
Image from news reports
03. If we encounter this incident, should we fight back?
This incident has triggered many netizens to think:
If the person who encountered this happened was me, would I fight back? Should I fight back?
Won't it seem like a bad fight if you don't fight back? But if you return the hand, you will be punished and engage in administrative reconsideration, will the gains outweigh the losses?
Here are some suggestions from the perspective of scientific spiritual psychology:
First, we must clearly understand that there are often "bear parents" behind the "bear children", and it takes wisdom to deal with these "bear parents".
The "bear child" is still young, his thinking and personality have not yet solidified, and there is still the possibility of change. But "bear parents" are often people with personality disorders: a severe lack of empathy, a serious lack of self-reflection, and behavior far beyond social norms.
In the words of the Internet, they belong to the "garbage people", never feel that they have a problem, let alone change, others reason, they often do not listen, but will blame others.
Therefore, for the "garbage people", we choose to ignore them, make no noise, and take a detour, which is not cowardice and weakness, but a rational strategy to disdain to deal with them.
Image from the Internet
Second, if you want to stand up and defend your own rights, we must also pay attention to the method of educating and educating "bear children" and "bear parents".
If the other party does not take care and hit you, if the other party does not strike hard, you can choose not to fight back, but protect yourself, such as using a bag to block important parts of the body, and let the people around you take photos and videos to save evidence in advance.
Then, we can call the police in time and hand over the evidence photos and videos to the police. Since we did not do anything during the whole process, the police did not define the space for "mutual beating" at all, and the "bear parents" had to bear all legal responsibility, which can be described as very relieved!
Of course, if you choose to fight back, you must be mentally prepared to be characterized by the police as "beating each other", and also be prepared to be fined, or to spend more time, energy and money on administrative reconsideration.
If you think you can't afford to spend such time, energy and money, and you don't want to cause personal safety risks due to further conflict, then you should fight back carefully.
In fact, even if we don't fight back at the time, maybe even due to various factors, we can't call the police, or the police don't give a satisfactory result, we don't need to be depressed. For "bear children" and "bear parents", there will always be someone to teach them a hard lesson and receive social education in the future.
On the contrary, if we want to try to avoid the "bear children" and the "bear parents" behind us, we can find ways to make ourselves better, constantly improve ourselves, achieve a better quality of life, and reach a higher level of life, and there will be relatively more quality people around us.