Author: Kaede of the main creative group
Recently, a video of stopping the "bear child" from being slapped on a woman's high-speed train quickly appeared on the hot search.
On the evening of May 2, a woman rode the high-speed train alone, and the children in the back row kept playing and kicking the back of the chair many times.
The video shows that the woman turned her head to stop it, but was insulted by the other party's parents, and the two sides got into an argument. The child's parents slapped the woman, who also fought back.
After the incident, the police mediated and determined that the two sides constituted "mutual assault", which caused widespread discussion among netizens, and public opinion almost one-sidedly supported the woman.
It seems that everyone has deep complaints about "bear children" and "bear parents", and hopes to severely punish many uncultured behaviors.
This reminds me of a news I saw earlier: a restaurant in Singapore imposed a "noisy child surcharge" on parents.
Simply put, if the child is too noisy and noisy when eating in the restaurant, parents will have to pay an additional fee of S$10 (about 50 yuan).
Many netizens agreed:
"Support! If you can't control it, you will admit the punishment. ”
"Bear children ignore loud noises and walk around, it is really disturbing, and if they are fined, parents will pay attention to managing their children."
Indeed, in public places, bear children's various rude, reckless and vicious behaviors often cause great distress.
There is a good saying: upbringing is a lifelong calling card that children carry.
An uncultured child will not be welcome wherever he goes.
Children who have no upbringing are connived at by their parents
I once saw a netizen's sharing on the Internet that during the epidemic, in the cinema, men not only did not wear masks in public places, but also spat on the ground twice!
When the staff came forward to "invite" the man out, the mother on the side stood up, not to educate her son, not to apologize, but to protect the calf: "He is still a child, he doesn't understand things, don't think about him." ”
Dozens of years old or children?
The mother's words made everyone in the audience stunned: "He is only 30 years old, how is he not a child?" ”
30 years old or a child? At the age of 30, you can still have no cultivation!
It can only be said that behind every annoying "bear child", there is a parent who does not teach and blindly condones.
Therefore, men are 30 years old and do not understand what upbringing is, but they are comfortable, completely disregard others, make loud noises in the cinema, spit melon seeds all over the floor, kick other people's seats...
I can't help but think of a 3-year-old boy in Huaiyin, Jinan, when he was playing in an amusement park, he saw a lot of snack bags and paper scraps scattered on the ground, so he consciously picked up the garbage one by one and threw it into the garbage can.
Trip after trip, the little boy did not feel dirty or tired at all, but was full of pride.
Netizens praised the little boy one after another.
Although it is only a small behavior, it reflects the cultivation and quality of the child.
Dad said: "We have trained children to eat when they are one and a half years old, not to throw them casually, but to throw them in the garbage can, so now when he goes out, as long as he sees garbage on the ground, he will consciously pick it up and throw it in the garbage can." ”
The famous writer Gorky said: "Loving your children is what a hen will do, but educating children well is an art." ”
As a parent, "protecting the calf" is a common human feeling.
But the growth of children requires not only love, but also rules and bottom lines to restrain children's behavior and shape children's conduct.
The connivance of parents seems to shelter the child, but in fact it is the most poisonous medicine to the child.
The lack of upbringing will one day take revenge on the child
There is a question on the Internet: What uncultured bear children have you met?
Netizen @Asa Ruo shared a true story.
She has a bear child next door who wakes up at 5 a.m. every morning to wake up others. Not only screamed loudly, but also made things noisy, until the whole corridor people got up, everyone complained, but the parents of the bear children never cared.
Once, the landlord walked her dog on the elevator, and the bear child came in and kicked her dog and spat at her and grimaced.
The landlord was angry, so he slapped the bear child twice on the spot and kicked the bear child.
The mother of the bear child came to me and asked: "Why do you bully my child, he still doesn't understand things, what are you thinking about him?" ”
With his mother's support, the bear child became even more unscrupulous, and soon injured a girl in the class and was hospitalized. Instead of teaching their children, Xiong's parents also paid no compensation.
The girl's brother couldn't get angry, and on the way home from the bear child, he stopped him and beat him, beating him to a slight concussion, cracked ribs, broken nose bones, and swollen his entire face.
Finally, he was thrown into the trash and covered until he was found by sanitation workers.
An uncultured child, parents can indulge him, but others will not be left to him, and society will not get used to him!
The child's lack of upbringing will one day take revenge on himself in a more tragic way.
Just like the bear child in the news, pouring water on a relative's piano keys, the child's parents do not apologize, but say "kindly help wash the piano".
Relatives are not angry, so they praise the bear child for doing a good job; The bear child continued his efforts and "washed" an imported piano of more than 600,000 yuan with Coke in the mall, and was claimed 198,000 depreciation expenses.
Just like the bear child who steals the neighbor's takeaway every day, the parents don't care, the neighbor orders three perverted and spicy egg tarts and directly spices the bear child into the hospital.
What is the fastest way to ruin a child?
Getting used to him makes him more and more lawless.
Habitual children are like killing children, parents are reluctant to educate their children, and society will teach you a hard lesson.
Reluctant bear children suffer early, and often suffer even more.
There are some truths that if parents do not teach, children will never learn
Previously, a mother's roar had been on the hot search.
On a high-speed train from Dalian to Beijing, a child was noisy all the time, and a female passenger in the same carriage couldn't stand it and stepped forward to dissuade her.
Unexpectedly, the child's mother did not discipline the child, but returned to the female passenger:
"He's only 3 years old, he doesn't understand reason, you have the ability to manage it, I can't control him anyway!"
"Don't give birth to children in your life, you will take them to death when you give birth!"
3-year-old children may not understand what upbringing is, but their parents' rude language and bad behavior are all the worst demonstration and influence for their children.
Many times, parents always think that children are small and insensible, lively and naughty is nature, should not be too calculated, just grow up.
Not really.
In the field of education, 3-6 years old, often called the "wet cement period", which is the period when children are most malleable, and it is also a key period for character formation and habit formation.
7-12 years old is called the "solidification cement period", that is, once the child's personality and habits are formed, it will be difficult to change when the child grows up.
At the age of 3, the child robs someone else's toy, and you think it is a normal play between children, and the child does not know what respect for others is.
At the age of 5, the child makes loud noises in the cinema and if you do not stop it, the child will not know what it is to follow the rules.
At the age of 7, the child throws melon seed shells in the subway, and if you don't teach it, the child will not know what it is to talk about civilization.
At the age of 9, the child hits others, and if you blindly protect, the child will not know what is morality and what is the bottom line.
After that, 11, 14, 18... He is becoming more and more unscrupulous, ignoring the rules, challenging the bottom line of others, like a gambler wandering on the edge of a cliff, who could take his life at any time.
There are some truths that if parents do not teach, children will never learn. Some behaviors, parents do not restrict, children will get used to nature.
Being a parent and raising a child into a cultured person is the greatest responsibility for him.
The cultivation of parents determines the upbringing of children
I like this quote from psychologist William James:
"Sow an action, reap a habit; Sow a habit, reap a character; Sow a character, reap a destiny. ”
The best love parents have for their children is not to protect, connive, and dote without principle, but to love their children with rules.
Cultivating a cultured child, clarifying the bottom line, appropriate punishment, and teaching by word and deed, are all indispensable.
A father, when his son was young, set many rules for him:
When you are away from home, you cannot litter anywhere;
In public places, no loud noise;
Before talking to someone, politely address the person according to their age and status;
If you accidentally disturb others, you must apologize in time and learn polite language;
Follow traffic rules, don't run red lights, and keep order.
……
In the beginning, although the son would often forget and sometimes break the rules, the father would gently but firmly point it out every time and accompany him to correct it.
Nowadays, sons who are less than 5 years old say hello when they see people; When taking the elevator, never press the floor button indiscriminately, and will wait for others to come out first; Will take the initiative to help the elderly take things, humble children younger than themselves ...
Kant said that law is the bottom line of moral standards. This bottom line can be seen and felt.
For children, parents set rules, which is to give children a clear bottom line.
In Yangzhou, Jiangsu, a boy trick-or-treating spills latex paint all over the street.
When the mother found out, she took the boy to clean the street until the early hours of the morning, for three days until the street was cleaned.
Professor Qian Wenzhong of Fudan University said: "After all, children are not adults, children must be disciplined and disciplined. ”
Children inevitably make mistakes, and appropriate punishment can help children fear the rules and take responsibility for their actions.
There is a very popular photo on the Internet:
The 3-year-old boy looked at the footprints on the edge of the subway and asked his mother with a puzzled look what was the use of this. Mom patiently explained: "These yellow footprints are used to queue up." ”
In order to make the child better understand, mom, dad and grandmother all followed the footprints and naturally stood in a straight formation.
This is what you do.
There is a saying that the poor are not as good as the rich.
Cultivation is the cultivation rooted in the heart, the power of the soul, and the light that illuminates life.
If you want your child to be educated, parents must first be a cultured person.
Parents have cultivation rooted in their hearts and the consciousness of pushing themselves and others, so that children can find the footprints of their parents and be a child with rules in his heart and norms in his behavior.
Finally, to quote a passage from People's Network, I would like to encourage everyone:
"Son, teach righteousness." Parents who love their children should be taught in the right way of being human.
The most important thing in family education is moral education, education on how to behave, and parents should practice civilization and education.
Virtue can cultivate people, and helping children button virtue is the real "good for children".