As of today, almost a month has passed since the high-speed rail slap incident caused by the child kicking the back of the front seat during May Day. But many people still asked Chang Dad what he thought about this matter, and I didn't speak for a long time, because this matter really was:
Let's briefly review this matter:
A young girl riding alone on the high-speed train found two adults and three children sitting in the back three seats.
The child was more noisy, kept kicking the back of the chair, the girl in the front row proposed to let the child be quiet, don't kick, but unexpectedly, it caused a dispute: the two sides had a dispute, and the conductor did not succeed in mediation. The child's father began to scold the melon mother-in-law and other dirty words, and the girl in the front row also kept fighting back with dirty words, and the child's mother slapped the girl in the front row with the back of her hand in a fit of anger.
The girl in the front row came up at once, and she who was originally sitting also stood up and slapped the other party.
After that, the child's mother did not move, but the dispute between the two continued, and the conductor and enthusiastic passengers were also persuading. But unexpectedly, at this time, the girl in the front row gave the child's mother another slap in the face.
The conflict escalated again, and after arriving in Chengdu, both sides chose to call the police.
Two days ago, on May 10, the Chengdu Railway Public Security Department released the results of the treatment, and the child's mother was administratively punished and fined 500 yuan, and the girl in the front row was also administratively punished and fined 200 yuan.
As a parent, I really can't understand why some parents watch their children make noise and kick the back of the chair but don't stop it? Why can parents justifiably accuse or even beat each other after others raise their opinions?
I pay special attention to this when I take Xiao Chang out, he speaks a little louder in public, and I immediately remind him "this is a public place, quietly".
Everyone can understand that the child is small and does not understand things, but if the parents on the side do not stop it, that is, the parents are not sensible and unreasonable - the matter is that the family has done 100% wrong here, so why did the punishment result that the girl in the front row also received an administrative punishment document?
For the girl sitting in the front row, I firmly support her in advocating for her rights. When I encounter this kind of garbage man who does not care about his children and affects others, and others manage and scold others, I am probably angry in minutes and smoke in place. I understand, but calm down, I don't agree with this girl's series of handling methods.
Afterwards, she wrote in her self-media: "Capricorns will not swallow their anger, if anyone offends me, I will sin." "Apparently, that's what she did all along.
Originally, after the conductor came, the child's parents asked to change the girl's seat, but the girl was angry and did not change, and scolded the air with a "stupid".
The child's mother threatened the girl, "If I scold again, I will hit you".
The girl was tough and continued to scold "stupid", and indeed achieved unyielding, but the result was that the incident directly escalated to "hands-on".
Both parties entered the public security bureau, and after knowing that they would be administratively punished if they did not reconcile, the girl still insisted on "not reconciling", just to let the other party also bear the administrative punishment, because "leaving a record is more important than anything else." Obviously, she was just trying to take revenge on the other party.
For the current punishment decision given by the Chengdu Railway Public Security, there is now a lot of scolding on the Internet, many people are not satisfied with the fact that this matter is characterized as "mutual beating", even the well-known law professor Luo Xiang also expressed disapproval, it is understood that now the girl is applying for an administrative reconsideration, and the Internet is almost one-sided in supporting her, all providing advice for her and asserting her rights.
It seems to be bright, so is this girl a winner? I really don't think so.
01
Life is never a cool drama
Staying away from garbage people is the first life-saving rule
While the girl and the child's parents were waiting for the results of the police process, a young man was killed with a knife by strangers on May 4 on a train bound for Yunyang from Zhuzhou, Hunan Province. The two did not know each other, just because of the smoking problem.
People who witnessed the scene shouted in horror: "It's all blood, it's all blood!" ”
After the incident, the police investigation found that the murderer had a criminal record and was also involved in drugs, twice wounded people with a knife, and twice was forced to rehabilitate drugs.
The murdered man is only 27 years old this year, the only son in the family, who has studied dance since he was a child and has appeared on the CCTV Spring Festival Gala. Seeing the man's mother crying, I couldn't help but think of the girl's mother at the beginning, as soon as she heard that her daughter was slapped, she hurriedly asked the train number and called the police again, especially worried about her daughter's safety.
Yes, nothing is more important to parents than the safety of their children.
If my child is in such a situation, as a father, my most sincere attitude is: I hope he will instigate a little.
Kicked in the back of the chair by the bear child on the high-speed train and politely reminded the other party. If the other parent's attitude is good and stops the child in time, then don't dwell on this matter anymore. If the other parent's attitude is very bad, and the child does not have any improvement, directly call the conductor to mediate. If the conductor and the mud or the other party's parents still have a bad attitude, then ask the conductor to change their seats, out of sight, do not waste time arguing with such people and reasoning.
In short, the basic principle is: cherish life, cherish time, and stay away from garbage people.
In this matter, I especially agree with what teacher Li Meijin said:
"No matter who you are in conflict with, the one who can stop in 3 to 5 sentences is a superior person."
Quarrel for 3 to 5 sentences, the other party still does not adhere to the unforgiving and does not admit the mistake, then it means that this matter is not understandable to this kind of person, and turning around and leaving is the best way. Otherwise, going on will do nothing but arch the fire and escalate the conflict.
Especially in the present, proper recognition is really a life-saving rule. In the three years of the epidemic, many people's lives and emotions have been affected, and at present, everyone is generally under great pressure, and many people are very angry. Many things that could be calmed down smoothly before may now be ignited, and once the quarrel is out of control, you really can't predict whether the other party has accumulated a lot of anger and may do something excessive.
There are already too many painful lessons like this:
Because of a dollar, the noodle shop owner was beheaded;
Because of a parking space, a 2-year-old baby girl was thrown to death;
Because of the traffic jam, a man died under the knife;
……
These events sound bloody and violent, and may seem far away, but one day you will occasionally encounter the perpetrators of violent incidents, and the wrong response will become the detonator of disaster.
So ah, sometimes even if it seems that it doesn't matter at all, life is bigger than the sky, what is face?
At this time, looking back at the "high-speed rail slap incident", I am really glad for the girl and the couple, glad that they did not have any murder weapons around them when they were emotionally out of control and attacked each other. If either side has a stick or a knife in their hands, the consequences are really unimaginable!
Now many people support the girl's treatment method under the banner of "blood". To be honest, this intention is correct, but in the end, it is just a melon-eating mass, standing and talking without back pain. As for the rise to the "national character", then it is purely the point where it is impossible to discuss.
If the girl could hold back the fire and not say the "stupid" sentence, or hold back the anger and not slap the other party, just switch seats or record the video, then she could always stand in the dominant position of legal rules and not "hurt the enemy by a thousand and self-harm by eight hundred".
The ancients, it's not too late for a gentleman to take revenge for ten years, why can't he endure it for a while?
Since you have already stood on the moral and legal high ground, then it is easy not to come down, otherwise your advantages will not be gone?
Imagine a little how hard it will be for the girls who have gone through it all this holiday and the week that follows.
She insisted on not mediating despite anger and pressure from all parties, and was immersed in anger all the time during her eight hours at the police station. In the subsequent administrative review application process, she also had to endure various complicated and cumbersome procedures and uncertain results. If the reconsideration fails, she will have to live the second half of her life under this "administrative punishment", and if she wants to enter a public service or a military academy, she may also be affected. It's really not worth punishing yourself for someone else's mistakes.
There is no winner in this incident, not the girl in the front row, nor the mother of the child. And the biggest victims of this storm are actually those children.
02
They are the biggest victims, but there is no one to redeem them
In the past, parents did not care about bear children, we often said, "Parents don't care, one day society will take care of you." But the incident tells us that "parents who don't care about bear children can endanger themselves and even the whole family."
According to online sources, the parents are both public officials, and the "administrative punishment" on their backs is bound to affect their career development. But this is not the most serious, according to the current regulations, their children may also be affected by the parents' "administrative punishment" to enter school, public service or the military.
You say, are these three children wronged?
Some people may say, the matter is caused by them, are they wronged?
It is true that it is precisely because these children (one of them) kicking the back of the chair that causes the conflict to occur, but what really escalates the conflict into a fight is not the child's behavior, but the attitude of the parents.
Many people hate bear children, but what they hate is the inaction of bear children's parents.
The father scolded, the mother did not adhere to it, and it was this bad attitude that angered the girl and led to the following series of events.
So, it is true that the children provoked the initial dispute, but they are also the biggest losers in the whole thing.
When it is time to be guided by parents and regulate behavior, parents let it go; While it is time to learn how to properly handle conflict, they are forced to witness violence between adults.
During the quarrel, the girl reminded several children several times: "Little friend, your parents are like this, don't learn the truth, don't learn." ”
Parents are accused by others in public, and some people applaud, I am afraid that the hearts of these children have already collapsed!
And what I am more worried about is whether the parents will take their anger out on the child after returning home, and whether they will think that the child is the trigger for this incident, making the child more self-blamed and sad.
Unreliable bear parents are the time bombs around their children, and they are the most terrifying existence.
This matter is not over yet, and Chang Dad will continue to follow the progress of the incident.
Finally, Chang Dad still wants to tell everyone 3 points:
In the event of a conflict, it doesn't matter if you provoke a little, this is not the time to show your mighty and indomitable temperament, the most important thing is to stay away from the garbage man as quickly as possible;
When you go out, you must discipline your child well, and your child's behavior must be corrected even if it cannot be stopped immediately;
Parents should lead by example, think long-term, and be good for themselves and their children.
Disputes like this without winners, hopefully don't happen again.
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