This is the 2287th article in modern parent education
Author: Fish Daddy
1
Every time there is a holiday, the children's biggest fear is that they will be surrounded by relatives to ask about their grades.
If you do well in the test, you can answer loudly, and if you don't do well, you are embarrassed to say it, and even the report notice does not want to show it to your parents.
The grades are not satisfactory, and it is easy to be repaired by the parents.
When it comes to grade notices, we all have our own stories.
I remember changing my good friend's score and writing reviews.
Because his handwriting parents knew, he asked me to do the work for him, and I also held the pen nervously, trying to make those words look like adults.
Every time he passed the puzzle, he thanked God, and this lasted for two years.
Later, his father learned about it and was trained along with me.
Nowadays we often talk about this.
In fact, his parents will not scold him because of the score.
It's just that he feels that his parents are already worried about this family enough, and he doesn't want them to worry about the score.
When he was in elementary school, his grades kept hovering at the passing line, and we just added a few points, just passed.
Later, he went to middle school and worked hard and was admitted to a key university.
I've always liked his parents.
They always encouraged the son who was hovering near the passing line.
So he said that what he was most grateful for was that his parents did not compare themselves to their classmates at that time.
He never felt how painful it was to study, but read a lot of extracurricular books.
When I arrived at the middle school, I accumulated a lot of hair and easily caught up.
2
Every child grows at their own pace.
For example, some children understand things early, so they will understand the rules when they are very young.
Get favored by teachers at school and pampered by adults at home.
In the case of calling people, boys are significantly inferior to girls.
Every time the little niece came to my house, when she saw my grandmother, she affectionately called "mother-in-law, mother-in-law." ”
Seeing us go to her house, we could hear her calling as soon as we entered the corridor.
One can't help but praise this sensible little guy.
And the little boy who was two months older than her.
No matter what we say, he will only squeeze a sentence "Mother-in-law!" out of his teeth! "Not a little welcoming.
Sometimes I'm impatient when I'm playing.
Therefore, children cannot be compared to each other.
Parents have to understand their children, why is this so?
So as to guide well and help them.
Children who don't like to say hello, we send them to school and take the initiative to say hello to the teacher.
When you see a friend outside, you should also say hello warmly.
In this way, the child will learn the method from the parents.
If the child does not say hello.
But you scared him and said, "You see your classmates, they all know how to say hello, and the teacher likes it."
And you're always like a mute, the teacher won't like it."
What to do?
The child still can't do it, but in his heart he believes that the teacher will not like himself.
Therefore, I am more afraid of the teacher, and I am even more afraid to say hello.
3
In the process of raising children, the most taboo is to always stare at the good of other people's children and use them to count their own children.
I am afraid that my parents will live a poor life by themselves, but they will ask their children to be excellent.
There is a relative in the family, and the son of the family has just entered junior high school.
Every time I saw her, I would listen to her count down her son.
He said that he did not study hard, attended training courses, spent money on his family, and still did not grow.
Sometimes when he is in a bad mood, he scolds his son for saying that he is a lump on his face, and he doesn't know who he looks like.
The most important thing to say is: Why are other people's sons so powerful?
Recently, what is often talked about is that one of my son's cousins graduated from graduate school and entered the county office as a civil servant.
Whenever people talk about it, their voices are louder in front of her son.
The child listened with his head down every time, did not say a word, never said hello every time he saw us, and always kept his head down to avoid.
She herself is the representative of the typical self as a pig, Hoping to become a dragon.
Never saw her a little bit about her son's studies.
When she was young, her son wrote crookedly, she felt that it was not good-looking, and she lost her temper.
Slowly it will be left alone.
But after each exam, as soon as the notice arrived home, I saw that the door was closed, and then there was a sound of children tearing their hearts and lungs begging for forgiveness.
Because she often plays cards outside until late, she often gives her children instant noodles.
That's how the lump of that face is eaten.
The strange thing is that she is polite with outsiders, and she is even more respectful to those who are well-off in the village.
Because you have to borrow money often to play cards outside.
But as soon as he returned home, he had a bad face towards his son.
Looking at the family of the child who took the civil service examination, it was really a world of difference.
His mom was our notoriously excellent.
The home is well organized, and their family was the first to buy bookshelves and desks for children.
And the shelves for children are full of books.
We all often go to borrow books and read them.
His mother also attaches great importance to her children's education.
I remember once, when I was playing at their house, my son, who had just been in the first grade, said that the teacher wanted to count the little sticks.
She went to the mountains to find that kind of thatch with thick stems, and cut it with a knife section by section.
Count out 100 sticks and tie them with leather bands.
Such teaching aids have been praised by math teachers.
His mother also asked me to help her son with more homework, when I was in the fourth grade.
How can such a hard-working mother not be able to cultivate excellent children?
After so many years, the children have grown up.
We can see that where your heart is, your harvest is there.
4
The best education parents can give their children is to teach by example!
The famous German philosopher Jaspers wrote in What is Education? "The essence of education means that one tree shakes another tree, one cloud pushes another cloud, and one soul awakens another soul." “
Teaching by example is greater than words, that is to say, to educate children well, first educate yourself.
First let yourself in this ordinary world, have a correct value, have a peaceful mood, and have spiritual abundance.
Parents' values have the greatest impact on children.
Because of the choices of parents and the attitude of treating others and things, they are often learned by children.
For example, once I read an old textbook of the Republic of China with a little fish, which read:
"The son follows his father, travels to the factory, sees the workers dressed in poor clothes, and despises them."
The Father said, 'All men are equal, and the workers, though poor, should not be despised.' “
Just a few words will affect the formation of children's values.
If the parents are also on their toes to the workers.
The child will only go too far.
Nowadays, the living conditions are getting better and better, and many parents give their children the most fattening food, the most expensive clothes, the most lazy living environment, and do not let their children do any housework.
I feel that this is love, but I am missing.
The most important point of educating children is missing - teaching by example.
Instead, they play mahjong in droves, watch TV, go shopping, and blow the air.
What is he doing, you ask?
Go aside, get busy...
Once I was chatting with a classmate who had been busy and was working hard for his career, but he just didn't have time to take care of his children.
I said, "You have to spend more time with your children and try to raise your children." “
"Just kidding! I don't have any money, how to cultivate? “
"For example, your son can read more picture books, play less mobile games, and watch less cartoons!" Play together more."
"What books to read, you see those nerds in our unit, none of them are useful."
"Well, then you talk about your high opinion?"
"I'm waiting for him to become a talent, don't I mean that there's a phrase called Waiting for the Flowers to Bloom?"
I can only laugh.
I think that when your own career is not in sight, you will miss the growth of your child.
What you said about waiting for the flowers to bloom is only afraid that it will give you a headache.
The same is the parents, some people are busy, do not know why busy, only know to say "I am for your own good!"
I thought everything was for the sake of the child, but I ended up doing my own thing.
And the child wants "you're good to me, not for me." ”
Instead of saying a thousand words I am good for you, it is better to seriously do something good for the child.