We often think that children born and raised in the same family will experience exactly the same environment, and the children who grow up together will not have much gap.
Just like many people will think that if you have a good brother or sister, then you must be very good.
But in fact, this assumption itself is wrong.
Because children are born in different orders, it will affect their psychological state.
Although this is not a determinant of our personality formation, our understanding of our position in the family greatly affects the formation of our personality.
Because our families are the first and most influential social relationships we have been exposed to.
Psychology has done a lot of research and research on the impact of children's birth order on psychological growth.
Generally, according to the birth order of the child, it is divided into five types of psychological growth:
1. Boss;
2. The second of the two children;
3. Middle;
4. Old man;
5. The only child.
1, the eldest is the only child in the family before the birth of younger siblings, often gets a lot of attention, will become the center of the family, and will be more or less spoiled. The Old Assembly is relatively reliable and will work very hard to prove its excellence. However, when a younger brother/sister is born, he will find that his original dominant position is not secure. He wasn't the only one who was special anymore. He would easily think of it as a younger sibling (or some other new child) who stole the love that should have belonged to him.
2. The second and oldest of the "two children" are very different. Ever since he was born, he's had to compete with another child to get the attention of others. Usually the second brother will show the spirit of competition and let himself do his best at any time. The second brother seems to have been pushing himself ahead of his brother/sister. This competitive effort between two children will affect the course of their lives later in life. The second brother will look for the weakness of the boss, and then win the praise of his parents and teachers by defeating the boss on this weakness. If one of them excels in one respect, the other develops the talent of the other to compete. The second eldest usually stands against the boss.
3. Children born in the middle often feel oppressed. The child will feel that life is very unfair and will feel cheated. The child may develop a "pity me" attitude and become a problem child. However, in families fraught with conflict, the middle-born child may play the role of a peacemaker or a peacemaker, a role that unites everyone. If there are four children in a family, the second child will often become this role, while the third child will generally be more relaxed, more social, and may also form an alliance with the old husband.
4, the old man is generally always the baby of the whole family, probably also the most spoiled one. He played a very special role, with all the other children in the family older than him. This youngest child will often choose his own direction in life. They often choose lifestyles that their families don't expect.
5, only children also have their own problems. Although he and his boss may have some of the same traits (e.g., higher motivation for achievement), he may not learn to share or collaborate with other children. However, he can learn how to get along with adults, because his original family is basically adults. In general, an only child is favored by his parents and may therefore depend on one or both of them. They always want to be the focus of the crowd, and if they can't meet that, they feel unfair.
Of course, the birth order does not play a decisive or absolute role in the formation of personality.
Because the attitude of parents, the influence of the social environment, gender discrimination, the influence of brothers and sisters on each other's personality, etc., will have a very big impact on the formation of psychological rankings.
But we should also be aware of the existence of such an impact. In raising children or growing up, we should use our strengths and avoid our weaknesses and strive to make ourselves more excellent.
The above is about the psychological knowledge of "birth order", how to further understand other high-quality psychological knowledge, please pay attention to and collect me, I will continue to share health knowledge for everyone.