Author | Qian Zhiliang
Source | Qian Zhiliang Studio (ID: qzlgzs)
On the Internet, I often see all kinds of funny videos and pictures of dads with babies, which makes people laugh:
There are those who coax children to sleep and fall asleep first; those who hold the child in their hands as submachine guns; those who pretend to cry louder in order to keep the children from crying; those who sit in the children's trolley and let the children push themselves...
As if to prove that dad is born without a mother will bring a baby.
However, the truth is that some of the advantages of fathers in the process of raising children are irreplaceable by mothers.
The American "Parents" magazine once summed up the father's uniqueness:
Fathers are different from mothers;
Fathers love to play with their children;
The father has a greater role in pushing the child;
The language used by the father is more complex;
Fathers are more constrained by their children;
Fathers make their children more social and prepare them for him to enter the real world;
Introduce men's roles and behaviors in real life;
Father supports mother;
Fathers will help their children reach their potential.
Psychologist Jung said:
"The mother is a character who can give the child delicate gentleness and careful protection, and the 'male strength' such as the courage and majesty of the father will give the child a different kind of support and become an indispensable nutrient in the child's journey to the world."
The following things, let the father do more, the effect is better.
01
Play with children, chase and play
We all know that compared with the mother's gentleness, meticulousness and thoughtfulness, one of the characteristics of the father with the baby is "big heart", and often the brain is open, "pit" the baby in various ways, so it is not less criticized and educated by the mothers.
However, this feature has become an advantage in the process of playing and playing with children.
Due to the difference in thinking and behavior, fathers may not be careful enough, but more casual and bold, and will not restrict the child too much, but will give the child more room for growth, so that the child's imagination and creativity can be stimulated to a greater extent.
Psychologist Robert M. In his book The Psychology of Child Development, S. Feldman states:
"The nature of father and mother playing with children is not quite the same, and fathers are more likely to engage in physical, chasing and fighting activities with their children. Mothers play more traditional games like peek-a-boo and games with more language elements. ”
Dad's sense of strength and adventurous spirit will make the child's body and movements more fully exercised, promote the development of the brain, and form inner qualities such as cheerfulness, self-confidence, bravery, and perseverance.
As the latest research data from the World Health Organization shows, children who can spend more than 2 hours a day with their fathers have a higher IQ. Boys are more like little men, and girls grow up to know more about how to interact with the opposite sex.
A BBC documentary, The Biological Significance of Fatherhood, mentions:
"Kids often see dads as playmates, and almost all kids see dads as more fun parents."
One mother once reported:
"Every time a child plays with his dad, the laughter is always the most and the biggest."
Playing with an extensive father, the child's nature is fully released, and the emotions can be cathartic, which is more conducive to mental health.
Especially for children aged 0-6 during the critical period of cognitive development, play and play are their best learning classrooms.
Therefore, no matter how busy the father is every day, he must also try to find time to play with the child, which is of great significance to the child's growth.
02
Teach children rules and self-discipline
The famous psychologist Fromm believes that the father represents the other extreme of human existence: the world of thought, the world of law, order and discipline.
We all know that rules are an indispensable part of a child's growth and development, and through the formulation of rules, children can clarify the boundaries of behavior, develop good habits, and move from other laws to self-discipline step by step.
In real life, due to the absence of the father, or the strength of the mother, the mother is more likely to serve as the maker and enforcer of the rules on the child's growth path, which is not very effective for the child to learn the rules.
Generally speaking, mothers are easy to be soft-hearted when implementing rules, and when they see their children sad, tantrum, and spoiled, they may compromise, and the more times they occur, the children will despise the rules and break the rules again and again.
And some mothers, when they see that their children are disobedient and uncooperative, are prone to emotion, yelling at their children and throwing tantrums. Emotional rules can confuse children.
When the father implements the rules, he usually has a firmer attitude, is more emotionally rational, and is more conducive to the child to establish a sense of rules and consciously abide by the rules.
Coupled with the natural attachment between the role of the mother and the child, the father has a greater advantage in establishing the rules, and the child learns the social relationship through the relationship with the father, and the social adaptability is stronger.
Studies in the United Kingdom have shown that children who often play with their fathers before the age of 3 grow up to have greater self-control.
Studies have found that in the process of accompanying children, fathers often emphasize fairness and responsibility more than mothers, emphasize abiding by the rules, and tell them the consequences of breaking the rules, which is conducive to cultivating the rules of children and improving their self-control.
Therefore, in the matter of establishing rules and enforcing rules for children, it can be left to dads to do more.
For example, the rules at the dinner table, the rules of writing homework, the rules of living habits...
Children under the leadership of their fathers will grow up to be more disciplined.
03
Cultivate children's independence and sense of responsibility
Many times, mothers are meticulous and comprehensive when raising their children, and they are reluctant to let their children do things, so children who grow up in this way are usually more dependent on their parents and have poor independence.
And the fathers' "not meticulous and thoughtful" will give their children more exercise opportunities, for example, eating by themselves, it doesn't matter if they get dirty; they wear their own clothes and shoes, and they are not afraid of their children wearing uncomfortable... Children are more independent;
Compared with the mother, the father's "fierce heart" is also a kind of educational wisdom, let the child do things, the child's various abilities are improved, and the body and mind are grown.
Therefore, fathers should actively participate in the growth of their children, accompany their children more, and teach their children to be independent and self-care. In the process of doing things independently, children can also improve their sense of responsibility and learn to be responsible for themselves.
In addition, the father's own sense of responsibility will also affect the child subtly.
This sense of responsibility is not only reflected in the attitude towards work, but also in the family, as a husband, a father, especially whether the father is involved in housework, but also directly in the eyes of the child.
Therefore, fathers should usually set an example of responsibility for their children.
Treat the work seriously and responsibly, not perfunctory;
Be more responsible for the family and actively undertake housework, rather than being a "hand-throwing treasurer";
Love your wife, be tolerant, understanding, considerate, and support each other;
Consider the consequences in case of trouble and reassure your family.
A reliable and responsible father is the best learning model for children.
The meaning of the father is not only to stay at the level of supporting the family, the healthy growth of the child is inseparable from the participation of the role of the father.
Father and mother, raising children have their own advantages, both sides take on their own responsibilities, work together, complement each other, the child will grow up to be more excellent and happy!
Click [in the watch], I hope that every father will not be absent from the growth of his child!
END
This article | edited