Today I picked up a plus at the KFC door, originally planned to return it to the owner, who knew that the goods called and said, "You better return the phone to me!" My phone has satellite positioning! I already know

Today I picked up a plus at the KFC door, originally planned to return it to the owner, who knew that the goods called and said, "You better return the phone to me!" My phone has satellite positioning! I already know where you are! As soon as I heard this violent temper, I came up, bought a dozen Happy Sheep Balloons to bundle on my mobile phone, and once I gave up, I loved to drift where to drift, you look for it, and I can't cure you! Force the cubs to cross with whom!

2. The gathering of three people with the best friendship in the same dormitory. Before the meal, we also sighed for the happy time when there was no money, fifty cents to buy a steamed bun, and the three people shared the happy time of eating. After the meal, one of them drank too much and said a shocking insider: that year, he was responsible for going out to buy steamed buns, and he actually bought two steamed buns for fifty cents...

3. After getting married, my salary was all handed over, and I had no financial freedom. This morning, my wife got up and started wearing makeup, ready to go to RT-Mart with her rich second-generation girlfriend. I went to the living room and slowly lay down on the sofa, and my wife came out of her makeup and said to me: You see you are too lazy, why are you still lying down, making you comfortable? I hurriedly replied: I will slowly wait for the family cleaning, you hurry up, don't let your girlfriend wait in a hurry. The moment my wife walked away and closed the door, I slowly pulled out her wallet that was pressed underneath me and let out a long breath.

4, he is the head of the class, I am often criticized by the teacher scum. Later, we graduated, and after a few years of wandering in society, now I am sitting at my desk, and the former school bully is obediently waiting outside the door, watching my face and acting. I said impatiently: Please show your parking permit, no outside vehicles are allowed to enter the community! Xueba said dismissively: The residents here are looking for me to talk about a big business, has it delayed your responsibility? Then it grows away, accompanied by the sound of a long megaphone: recycling old color TVs, refrigerator air conditioner washing machine rice cooker pressure cooker!

5, yesterday went to my cousin's house, this kid is watching Happy Goat at home, people in their twenties are still watching cartoons, really childish! After watching the whole morning, I really couldn't stand it, grabbed the remote control and slammed it on the ground, angrily shouting: "Don't look at it, can you see that it will be bald and strong?" ”

6. The son received the first salary and invited his mother to dinner. After taking a seat at the hotel, the son asked his mother what he wanted to eat, and the mother said, "Let's have a spinach scrambled egg." The son shook his head: "Don't order the dishes you often eat at home in the restaurant, change them to fresh ones." The mother held the menu and looked at it carefully, and ordered a dish that she had never heard of, called "Golden Branches and Jade Leaves". As a result, this dish was served, and at a glance, it was still spinach scrambled eggs!

7, just spend almost all! After 10 minutes, the brother-in-law commented at the bottom: Brother-in-law, I dare to say that my sister is better than my daughter-in-law, my daughter-in-law sees that I am idle every day and do not go to work, the poor really can't open the pot, in order to reduce my pressure, this afternoon I ran away with someone! I went, how can it be so direct!

8. Chat with comrades-in-arms after retiring from the army. I remember that now we are all people with daughters-in-law, so who is who, do you cook at home? The second cargo comrade-in-arms gave me a blank look, cooking? What a joke, cooking is light, at home I make cattle and horses.

9, a couple of two lovers are happy with each other, discussing the date of marriage, however, the parents do not agree after seeing, and then every day after eating, the man sits in front of his house to sharpen the kitchen knife, his eyes are full of resentment; the woman sits on the top of the second floor of his house, looking sluggish, and the two rarely speak... A month later, the parents agreed that the two were married.

10, one day, I and my boyfriend had a big fight, made a lot of trouble, no one let anyone, I was angry, scratched his arm with my hand several blood channels... He was also anxious, grabbed my hand and pressed it on the table... I was scared, only to see him pick up a nail clipper and cut my nails for me...

1 As long as the price of half a square meter, Japan, South Korea, New Mattei have played a circle; the price of one or two square meters, Europe and the United States have also returned; the next step has to plan to go to Egypt south Africa these more magical places ......... In a few years, you've played all over the world, and you may not have spent the price of a kitchen. But by then, maybe your worldview has changed.

12, yesterday I took my three-year-old son for a walk in the park, and as I walked, he asked me: "Daddy, why is the sky blue?" Heavens, even if it is a **, should know, because the short wavelength of light scatters more in the air, and the blue light has a shorter wavelength in visible light, so it is stronger than the scattering of light of the same wavelength as red light in the atmosphere, so the sky becomes blue, how can this child be so ignorant! So I beat him up.

13. After the weekend holiday, ride a bicycle to carry the goddess of crush to go for a ride. Halfway through a truck, she said, "I'll be with you if you can get past that truck." I immediately got up and caught up, pedaling desperately, as I was ready to catch up with my feet at a speed of 200 per minute. With a snap, he was woken up by his wife's slap: "Look where you shook your head and stomped your feet!" ”

14, there is a couple in a family, they gave birth to a pair of double tires, the brother's eyes are very good, but the brother's eyes are very poor, one day the two of them rode a motorcycle in the wild can be the younger brother in front of the driving, driving the brother found that there is a ditch in front, so, hurriedly said to the brother: "ditch ditch" but the brother thought that the brother was singing and drinking: "Oh oh oh" The words just fell out of tune The two fell down.