1. Take the bus today, next to the big-breasted beauty, I quickly got up to give up my seat. Me: "Beauty, it's hard to stand in high heels, you sit." Beauty thanked me politely, then

1. Take the bus today, next to the big-breasted beauty, I quickly got up to give up my seat. Me: "Beauty, it's hard to stand in high heels, you sit." The beauty thanked me politely and sat down. I stood next to her, feeling beautiful. Or stand and look at the chest a little bigger. The field of view is a little bigger

2. Colleagues take children to work, everyone will play with children, a female colleague asked the child: "Who is the best in your family?" Child: "Daddy is the best!" The colleague looked proud. Female colleague: "Why?" Why is Dad the best? Child: "Because Dad never cried, whether he was kneeling on the washboard, or kneeling on the keyboard, or even kneeling on the glass ballast." "Boy, your dad is already going to cry

3. My cousin's voice is particularly loud, I told her that all the people who came tonight are my classmates, and talk to me quietly. After eating, I played cards with everyone, and my cousin cleaned up and wanted to rest early, so she leaned close to me and whispered, "Then I slept first", and then everyone looked at me with strange eyes.

4. Yesterday I chatted with a few female classmates in the group, and they all said that they were good sisters. One said: "I am the best sister in the world, and the good things are given to my brother." Another: "I am the best sister, my brother is bullied by his classmates, I always help him avenge." The last one said, "I once saved his life." Curious, I asked, "Is someone going to kill your brother?" Her: "I punctured the white balloon in my father's drawer, and after a year my brother was born." Me: "..."

5. Male: "Let's break up." F: "Why, I love you so much!" Male: "I'm pregnant!" Female: "Cut, how is that possible!" Male: "You see, we don't even have the most basic trust, let's break up!" Female: "..."

6. The second girlfriend and I talked about her heart, and she asked, "What kind of boyfriend do you want to find in the future?" I said expectantly, "As long as the long one meets my requirements." Erzhu's girlfriend smiled evilly: "So, what pronunciation does that 'long' word pronounce?" Me: "Roll away." ”‍‍‍‍

7. Visit the supermarket today and come out, sit on the bench at the door and rest. There were three girls sitting next to me, and I wanted to laugh when I saw what they bought, A bought a bag of ham sausages, B bought three bananas, and C bought two cucumbers. What a personal taste!

8. Yesterday, two female colleagues in the office took leave, and the leader only approved one of them, and the other complained incessantly in the office. 　　I said for a moment, "What are you complaining about, can this Xi Shi icon and Dong Shi be treated the same?" ”

9. In physics class, the teacher asked, "What does it mean that alcohol and water are mixed together and the volume is smaller?" Suddenly, a classmate replied: "There are times when the profiteers who sell fake wine also miscalculate!" ”‍‍‍‍

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