This article is original by Xuan Pa Parenting, all rights reserved, infringement must be investigated
A few days ago, I chatted with a girlfriend, because they are all mothers, the topic is naturally inseparable from the children.
Compared with the pain of having children experienced by ordinary mothers, the road to becoming a mother is extremely smooth.
How smooth is it?
First of all, the family conditions are good, before and after childbirth, they live in the family ward of the maternity hospital, and go directly to the confinement center after discharge.
Secondly, the girlfriend pays great attention to the figure, so she decided to give up breast milk and directly feed the baby milk powder, which directly bypassed the pain of opening the milk and feeding.
Finally, during the day the mother-in-law and nanny take care of the children, and at night the mother-in-law takes the grandchildren to sleep, and over time, the children have been fully adapted to life without a mother.
The girlfriend is the same as before the birth, what do you want to do, when the mother's pain only exists for a short period of time before and after the caesarean section.
This kind of life of the girlfriend makes many mothers envious, in the chat, I directly asked her: don't feed breast milk, don't take the child yourself, are you not afraid of the future baby and you don't kiss?
Girlfriend is very confident about this: the first 3 years of the child is the most difficult to bring, so before the son is 3 years old, I plan to let the mother-in-law take it, anyway, the child does not remember, and when he goes to kindergarten, I will participate in parenting, and now I can live happily for a day.
I have to say that the girlfriend's wishful thinking is very good, and careful observation, there are not a few mothers who have this kind of thinking around.
Because the child's prefrontal cortex development before the age of 3 is not yet sound, so the memory is indeed not strong, so everyone generally believes that children at this stage "do not remember things", and some people frankly admit that it is thankless to bring children before the age of three, because no matter how much they pay, the child will not remember.
But is this really the case?
The answer is no.
Before the age of 3, children's memory storage is indeed very limited, but this does not mean that they do not remember things at all, and this is the best stage for children and parents to establish intimate relationships.
At this stage, the person who accompanies the child the most will give the child the greatest sense of dependence and security, which will make the child remember, even after adulthood, the child will naturally have a sense of intimacy with the person who accompanied him the most in childhood.
On the contrary, even as the biological parents of children, if they are unwilling to take their children because they are lazy and throw all their children to the elderly, it is difficult for children to establish very close feelings with their parents even if they grow up and understand things.
Once the parent-child relationship is indifferent, the child will be difficult to discipline after puberty, and will be very resistant to communicating with parents.
The child's parents bring their baby before the age of 3, and the following benefits are also available:
1. The shaping of a child's good character is inseparable from the coexistence and companionship of parents.
We all know that 0 to 6 years old is a critical period for children's personality development.
At this stage, parents are willing to accompany their children with their hearts, are willing to interact closely with their children, will give children a sufficient sense of security, and the intimate communication between parents and children will also lay the foundation for children to shape a healthy personality.
2. The cultivation of children's good living habits is inseparable from the guidance of parents.
There are great differences between the elderly and young people in terms of ideological concepts and living habits.
The core of the elderly with children is to take care of the child's living, although it can ensure that the child eats and drinks Lasa, but there will be some neglect of the formation of children's good living habits, and some elderly people will dot on children and turn a blind eye to their children's bad habits.
Young parents with children will pay more attention to cultivating children's ability to be independent, and when children have some bad living habits, young parents will also stop them in time.
3. The intimacy that children and their parents build up to before the age of three will last a lifetime.
It is undeniable that taking children is a very hard physical labor, so many mothers will play their own wishful thinking: anyway, children do not remember things before the age of three, this most difficult and tiring process will be handed over to the elderly to take it, and the child will always be with the parents when they grow up.
In fact, Bao Ma's idea is very wrong.
Children are in a sensitive period of emotional dependence before the age of 3, which is the best time for parents and children to cultivate feelings.
Although the baby does not yet know how to express the language, the child's heart will be greatly satisfied, and the intimacy they have established with their parents will last a lifetime.
Xuan Dad has something to say
Nowadays, due to the pressure of young people's work and busy life, it is a very common phenomenon for the elderly to bring children.
Parents' help is a kind of grace for children, as children, we can not use laziness as an excuse to completely dump the child to the parents, the establishment of any parent-child relationship needs to communicate and get along, parents are willing to pay for their children, will get the return of affection.
Who brought your child before the age of 3? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area!
I am Xiaoxuan's father, actively learning to take a baby "daughter slave", sharing the thoughts and feelings of the parenting process every day, if you like my articles, please pay attention to, forward, comment, your like is the biggest motivation for my writing!
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