The class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati and lost more than 2 million yuan, and then the class teacher resigned to take 2 million to do business. Then a new teacher came to our class and let me

The class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati and lost more than 2 million, and then the class teacher resigned to take 2 million to do business. Then a new teacher came to our class and asked each of us to write a personal introduction. After the teacher saw what we wrote, he stood on the podium and asked: What is the most important thing for people? It's honesty, right? The students answered: Yes. Then, the teacher said: Well, now please write in the self-introduction that you can crush the big stone in the chest of the students to perform on the stage, and ask the students who step on the light bulb to prepare !!!

2, and my husband met in Sanya tourism, he just divorced to relax, my husband has a daughter of an ex-wife, but we are still married. The morning after we were newly married, I lazily lay down on the window and told my husband to let him pack me to the toilet. My husband listened to the second word, got up and wrapped me in the bathroom. When I came back, I found that my girlfriend had woken up, and my husband smiled and asked: Are you awake, do you want to go to the bathroom? Daddy packs you up. The girl saw a look of breath and climbed down the window and said: I will go myself!

3, recently the teacher is too fat a lot, all day sad face, good girlfriend nun to help the teacher too thought of a good way. At dinner this night, the nun looked at the master who was nibbling on the pig's trotters, and then said: You find an ugly man who is online dating, it is best to find the kind of ugly man who can't eat at a glance, when to eat, when to open the video and chat with him, slowly thin. Shi Was too depressed and said: Where can I find your boyfriend like that!

4, colleagues got married today, an old lady at the table with me at the banquet, especially angry, before everyone finished eating, they began to pack, and even a dish just came up, which was directly put into her own plastic bag by the old lady. I was angry and said, "Big Mom, you're going too far, aren't you?" Even if you let everyone take a bite and then pack it! The old lady: "Young man, why are you so unobtrusive?" Each of you eats a bite, isn't it unhygienic! ”

5, the young wife since marrying the rich, the weight is increasing day by day, and now is very fat! The rich man smiled and said, "I raised you fat and how happy you are." The wife said coldly, "You think I'm fat, don't you?" The rich man smiled with a smile on his face: "If there is, it is better to be a little fatter." Mrs.: "Do you want to be so fat?" Have you ever wanted to kill and eat meat in the New Year wow? ”

6, some time ago, my girlfriend took the train from afar to find me to play. Then, I thought about doing my best to make a hot pot at home to entertain her. She looked at the bottom of the red pot and was frightened, saying: "I don't dare to eat it when I die!" So, it took me a lot of effort to force a chopstick dish in her mouth! Then, she kicked me away, and a person overpowered the table and ate a sperm...

7, my son is in kindergarten this year, I went to the kindergarten to pick him up after work this evening. Chatting with him on the way, I asked my son, "What is your ideal when you grow up?" The son thought about it and said, "I want to be a pilot when I grow up." I was very happy and asked, "Then why do you want to be a pilot?" The son pointed to the white clouds in the sky and said, "Because I am going to heaven to eat those marshmallows." ”

8, the wife wants to give her son some nutrition, so she raised a few native chickens in the backyard to lay eggs for her son to eat. Because it was very hot during this time, the chicken did not lay eggs and was not energetic. I quickly called and asked the buddies who were doctors, and after talking about the situation, I asked him if this chicken had heat stroke? The buddy said to come to see the situation after work, and in the evening he and a bunch of guys, carrying wine, said to help my family chicken cure the disease.

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #