"I'm mad at me, and the bear child is messing with me because of the pressure on the old money."
Just after Chinese New Year's Eve, my girlfriend called me and complained.
It turned out that the child had received two or three thousand years of money this year, and according to the custom, the girlfriend "confiscated" the money.
Although the child was unwilling before, the child has no right to speak, and that is it.
Now that the bear children have grown up, the team is not easy to bring.
The boy, who was just six years old, openly shouted at his mother: "This is the money that my grandparents gave me to buy what I like, why do you receive it?" I'm all set up to buy Ultraman cards. ”
The girlfriend was furious:
"Five thousand yuan to buy a bunch of broken cards, so messy money, I dare to give you the money?"
One resolutely does not give, the other resolutely wants to take, and the mother and son are inseparable.
I believe that this scene exists in many families.
Who should "press the old money" be given to? It is really a matter of public justification, and the mother-in-law says that the mother-in-law is justified.
Who should I give the money to? How to give?
Parents' different practices can really affect a child's life.
How big is the impact of confiscating the child's old age money?
Many parents feel that their children are still young, and the money is "deserved" to be kept by themselves, but they have never thought of how much harm this will bring to their children.
There is a father who took his 8-year-old daughter back to his hometown for the New Year.
His daughter received more than 2,000 yuan of pressure money, he was worried about his daughter's random flowers, so he forcibly put it away, as a result, his daughter had a fierce quarrel with him, and ran away from home in the cold night, and the next day, he was found by the police in the Internet café.
There are also news reports that a 7-year-old boy in Hubei Province, after being confiscated by his mother for four hundred yuan and pressing the old money, was angry enough to pour salt into sweet tangyuan;
Two primary school students in Chongqing, worried that their parents confiscated the money for the year, lost contact for a day before spending all the money to go home.
......
Some parents may say that my children have always been very "sensible".
However, those children who choose to be "sensible" are also becoming more and more obedient and less confident;
In the long run, the child's heart is gradually lacking, and in the future, it may form a deformed view of money that is excessively profligate or excessively thrifty.
More serious, it will even affect the child's personality for a lifetime.
The company has a girl, especially excellent, work very hard, but especially inferior, encounter the evaluation activities, always their own first retreat, every year the boss issued a year-end award big red packet, everyone took it happily, on her side did not dare to take.
It made the boss very angry, thinking that she had an opinion on the company.
The personnel talked to her and heard her say the reason: "When I was a child, the red envelopes were confiscated by my parents, and once I stole 10 yuan to buy firecrackers, and was beaten to death by my father. ”
Many parents question: "Is it so serious to press the old money?" ”
In fact, pressing the old money is only the fuse, and the parents' attitude towards their children 'using money' is the key.
For children, pressing the age of money is not just "money", but also under the trust of parents, the self-affirmation of "I can own and control my own money" is generated.
Make good use of the old money and cultivate the child's concept of money
Pressing old money is not the same as ordinary pocket money.
First of all, we need to tell the child the meaning behind the pressure of the old money.
For example, pressing the old money is a blessing given to us by the elders, in addition to the money, the good intentions behind it are more worthy of our gratitude and remembering.
Secondly, I think that the right to use the money should be a child.
Every parent who "embezzles" his child's old age money has been a child who "does not want his parents to take it" to press the old age money.
I think that when we were taken away by our parents to suppress the old money, we also felt aggrieved and unfair.
Unexpectedly, after becoming adults, we have also become such parents, and we have begun to worry that giving money to children will make children develop the habit of spending money indiscriminately.
The times are developing, the world is changing rapidly, as parents, we should also keep pace with the times and boldly hand over the money to our children.
It can not only help children understand the cultural significance behind the pressure of old money, but also give children a sense of self-identity and heartfelt confidence;
It can help children better understand money earlier, and then cultivate children's correct views of money and consumption.
There is a well-known saying in "Poor Dad Rich Dad":
"Even if you don't teach your children about money, there will be other people who will teach you in the future, and this person may be a creditor, a profiteer, a policeman, or a liar."
Therefore, we must not only give the old money to the child, but also talk to the child earlier.
The sooner you talk to your child about money correctly, the more opportunities your child will have to learn more about people, money, and the world.
How to spend the money?
Parents can teach their children this way
The American Children's Financial Education "Happy Life Plan Realized from the Age of 3" believes that:
"Pressing the age of money is essentially a child's own business, but it is the best opportunity for parents to carry out financial and business education."
The process of parents handing over the old money to their children and negotiating the use of it is actually a very test of the parents' pattern and insight;
It is also a good opportunity for parents to educate their children to establish a correct view of money and financial management.
The classic money management book "Puppy Money" recommends that children divide all their savings into three parts from the perspective of financial management:
10% for daily pocket money;
40% of the money spent on achieving dreams;
50% of the money used to make money;
With reference to this standard, parents can negotiate with their children to divide the money into three parts.
In terms of proportion, parents can adjust according to the actual situation of the family and the amount of money.
First, fixed pocket money - train children to consume rationally
Financial experts suggest that children should have pocket money from the age of six, and it is recommended that 20 yuan per month is the appropriate standard.
Some parents think: "What the child wants I can buy directly, so small to give the child money, how to develop bad habits?" ”
In fact, this idea is wrong.
In 1991, a toronto scholar conducted a psychological experiment in which children were divided into small groups of 6, 8 and 10 years old, each of whom was given $4 in pocket money to use at will.
It turned out that the children who usually had pocket money at home did not spend all their money, while other children usually spent all their money because they lacked the opportunity to use it.
It can be seen that "spending money" is also a skill, which requires more exercise and more use to gain control.
Of course, under freedom, parents also need to make rules.
For example, according to the amount of 10% of the money, help children of different ages to develop different amounts of monthly pocket money.
Guide your child to spend the money in the right place, pay attention, just advise, parents should try to respect the child's ideas.
Second, the dream piggy bank - guide children to pursue their dreams
Every child will have big or small goals, buy stickers, go to Dinis Paradise, give gifts to their mothers, etc...
Some goals are too big to accomplish with pocket money.
Parents can then assist their children in making a dream list and preparing a dream piggy bank.
Put 40% of the money in the dream piggy bank to encourage children to save more for their dreams.
This can not only help children develop the habit of saving, but also train children to exercise patience through "delayed gratification", as well as a sense of achievement through their own persistence in realizing their dreams, so that children can increase more self-confidence.
Third, money makes money - teach children to save and invest
Money is not omnipotent, but without money, money will become particularly important, therefore, parents should instill in their children from an early age the concept of "I do not manage money, money does not care about me" to cultivate children's financial thinking.
Parents can act as guardians to assist their children to open their own bank accounts and save 50% of the pressed money; of course, parents can also help their children keep the pressure money by purchasing insurance, education funds and other ways.
For children over the age of 8, parents can also properly educate their children to make some simple investments.
For example, tell the child how much interest you can get each year by storing the same amount of pressure money in the bank; invest the same amount of pressure money in the fund for parents to get about how much income you can get each year, so that the child can compare and choose.
Studies have shown that the age of 5-14 is the golden age of financial intelligence development, and it is a very appropriate time for children to be exposed to financial concepts such as savings, loans, interest and so on.
In addition, early education expert Big J Jr. D has a point that is also worth learning:
She believes that after using the old money to teach children to consume and save, they can also leave a part as a "gift/public welfare", and teach children to help others through their own money after satisfying their own needs and desires.
Each family can plan according to their actual situation and the amount of money they have.
In this way, the elders give the child the money to make the most of every penny.
The moment the child receives the adult's pressure money, he also receives the blessing.
The essence of parents helping their children manage the pressure on money is to teach children to correctly view the "acquisition and use of money." ”
The famous psychologist Piaget pointed out:
"No matter what kind of thinking system a person has as an adult, it is inextricably linked to childhood."
Scientific research has found that children who receive money education from an early age are more likely to cultivate the correct concept of money.
This kind of money concept, through the pressure of old money, will make children more financial management, and more understand the meaning of actively chasing dreams in adulthood.
Understand the nature of life fullness, not be imprisoned by money, and accept the happiness brought by money.
When spending money, know how to enjoy and restrain;
When managing money, know how to plan and be rational;
Let money be a pleasant force in your child's future life.
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