Who "stole" my child's memory?

*Note: This article is an excerpt from previous highlights

Published on January 3, 2017

weave

Poor memory is a classic "excuse", whether it is students, children, or adults, there are people who are happy to buckle this hat for themselves. When you and others acquiesce to this statement, you can justifiably do a lot of things badly...

Jin Rong: Hello.

Participant: Hello Teacher Jin Rong, I would like to ask you a question about your children's education. My son is in the third grade this year, and he is always procrastinating when writing homework, and the time is very long. And the memory is not good, the knowledge learned is always not remembered, do not know what is going on.

Jin Rong: Do you think he has a problem with IQ?

Participant: There should be no problem with IQ.

Jin Rong: If there is no problem with IQ, it can only mean that he has no intention. What he was procrastinating in writing his homework was a kind of resistance and rejection of his studies. He doesn't love to learn, and he doesn't want to learn, so how can he do this well?

Participant: Hmm.

Jin Rong: We have now found the problem, so what is the cause of this problem? This requires you to understand, to discover. You know?

Participant: Well, I know.

Jin Rong: Children don't love to learn, do you have to cultivate some good habits for children to learn when they are in the first grade? Another point is that do we parents set a good example for our children? Parents have always had a very bad problem, that is, playing with double standards, saying one set and doing one set, not letting the child do things, but doing it themselves. Ask the child but not yourself. Usually do not care about children, when the teacher calls the parents, they are anxious. The way to do this is to scold. Also, when the child is working hard, do you affirm him and appreciate him?

Participant: Yes, he did well in the final exam of the second grade, and I also rewarded him with a small car.

Jin Rong: Only this time? What about usual? Do you think it's only needed for exams? In daily life, some of the children's inner thoughts, do we have a good guide and communication? Have we ever used our own words in our lives to make our children feel loved and appreciated? If you've done it all, then I can say with certainty that managing children must not be difficult.

Jin Rong: The child's self-control is relatively poor, at this time, parents should carefully manage and supervise their children in the name of love.

Participant: Well, OK.

Jin Rong: Children must do things, but your love for children is continuous. It's not because you love because you behave well, and you don't love if you don't behave well. Many children now think that their parents don't love them.

Jin Rong: The reason is actually not complicated, the difficulty is whether parents can do what they say.

Participant: Well, okay.

Jin Rong: Okay, goodbye.

Participant: Goodbye.

Jin Rong's comments:

Poor memory is a classic "excuse", whether it is students, children, or adults, there are people who are happy to buckle this hat for themselves. When you and others have acquiesced to this statement, you can justifiably do a lot of things badly! But think about it in turn, as long as you are not born of a close relative's marriage, have a normal IQ, and have not had any accidents that hit your head, why is your memory particularly bad? In normal people, there will certainly be individual differences in memory, but how big can it be? It's more about differences in personal attitudes.

In fact, it shows that you are avoiding and resisting some of the things that should be done, and you know what you should do, which is essentially inert but unwilling to admit it. When children also have this phenomenon, the following points are for your reference:

1. If the IQ is not a problem, it means that he has no intentions and is repelled by learning;

2. Parents should set a good example and not play double standards;

3. Do you give the child positive encouragement when the child is working hard;

4. Guidance, communication, emotional expression of love and appreciation should be in place;

5, supervision, management should be on the matter, what should be done must be done, but at the same time love children is unconditional.