*Note: This article is an excerpt from previous highlights
Published on January 23, 2017
preface
Psychology proves that a child who is loved by his mother is more able to like himself effortlessly; he is less likely to sacrifice his happiness to please others; he is more able to absorb love and release love...
hearken
=Listen=
Jin Rong: Hello, please speak your phone.
Participant: Hello Teacher Jin Rong, you have worked hard. I would like to inquire about the education of my children, I have a daughter who is 18 years old this year, and my daughter has met a boy ten years older than him online since she went to vocational school. Before the daughter came home only once a week, I did not know about this matter, and then the teacher found the child's abnormal behavior and gave me feedback. When I asked the child, the child lied to me. Later they met and lived together again. My husband and I found their address and urged her to go home, but she didn't listen to anything she said, and now it has reached the point of not coming home or contacting us.
Jin Rong: What kind of girl is your girl?
Participant: Be more introverted.
Jin Rong: How was your parent-child relationship before?
Participant: It was good before.
Jin Rong: How is it good? Let's take an example.
Participant: What happened to her when she was in school, she would come home and tell me about it.
Jin Rong: When did you stop talking about it?
Audience: From the time of vocational school.
Jin Rong: Does your child have a good relationship with his father?
Participant: Not as close to me.
Jin Rong: Is your relationship with your husband good?
Participant: Okay.
Jin Rong: In the process of growing up, the child has always been brought by your husband and wife, or by grandparents?
Participant: It was our husband and wife who brought it.
Jin Rong: Before the child went to vocational school, did he feel that his parents loved him?
Participant: Love.
Jin Rong: Why are children very introverted?
Participant: Because the child has always been alone with the child, her father works during the day and comes home at night.
Jin Rong: That is to say, there is no communication with the father, and in the process of growing up as a child, you are actually alone.
Participant: Yes, you can say so.
Jin Rong: That is to say, the child's feelings for his father are very weak, and there is no more understanding, right?
Participant: Put it this way, you only go to your dad when you ask for money.
Jin Rong: There's very little emotional connection, right?
Participant: Well, there's something she doesn't tell her dad.
Jin Rong: So in the process of getting along with your children, are your children introverted?
Participant: It's okay, she said when I asked her.
Jin Rong: When she was in school, how was her relationship with her classmates?
Participant: It's okay, some classmates don't handle relationships very well.
Jin Rong: That means she is often ostracized or bullied by her classmates, right?
Participant: Well, yes. Because she doesn't like to tell people.
Jin Rong: When a child is wronged, what can you, as a mother, do?
Participant: I see that she is not happy, I will ask her, and then help her enlighten.
Jin Rong: How to enlighten?
Participant: I first asked her the cause and effect, told her that everyone has their own way of handling things, you have to think about yourself, but also for others, so that...
Jin Rong: If you are bullied at both ends in three days, you tell me, what should I do?
Participant: Tell her that people's patience is limited, and if you can't bear it, tell your parents, and parents help their children out.
Jin Rong: In your memory, how many times did you help your child out?
Participant: Twice.
Jin Rong: In the end, was the child satisfied with the results of this matter?
Audience: Very satisfied.
Jin Rong: I asked so much in the hope that you can realize that the child has formed this introverted personality today, and her ability to cooperate with people is not good, it is closely related. It's inseparable from the encouragement, recognition, and self-confidence she gets in the family, and it's inseparable from the insecurity of the child, you know what I mean? But your answer has always ignored the main question. The reason why children will go to find a man who is much older than themselves when they are in high school is because the child lacks love, self-confidence, and security in the family.
Participant: Hmm.
Jin Rong: You can't control her now, her results must be bad. What I want to say now is that when the child wants to go home later, I hope that you will use your generous maternal love to accept the child, to comfort her, to encourage her, and to teach her not to make such a mistake again.
Participant: Mm-hmm, okay.
Jin Rong: I'm done, goodbye.
Participant: Thanks, goodbye.
Jin Rong commented
Psychology proves that a child who is loved by his mother is more able to like himself effortlessly; he is less likely to sacrifice his happiness to please others; and he is more able to absorb love and release love.
In the process of children's growth, mothers mainly play two roles: the formation of habits and the cultivation of emotional intelligence. Thanks to the gestation and breast milk, the mother is destined to have more intimate contact with the child. Babies will develop habits that are very similar to those of their mothers.
"We have good habits in all our achievements," said one great man. It can be seen that good habits are an inexhaustible wealth for life. And the mother's love can make the child attach, trust, expectation, hope more and more, the sociality is getting better and better, and the emotional intelligence is getting higher and higher.