School bullying has always been a hot topic, because children's badness is sometimes unimaginable and incomprehensible to adults. And those children who suffer from school violence, the hurt they suffer in their hearts is also difficult to bear.
A fan sent me a private message saying that his children were too provocative. My son is 15 years old, in the third grade of junior high school, and is often bullied by others. The child's school uniform was snow-white, and once he was penned with a carbon pen and wrote a big curse on his back.
This insulting sentence to the child is to use a thin carbon pen for writing homework, stroke by stroke, and draw it into a clear trace like a brush word. It is estimated that without an hour, this pattern cannot be drawn, and it is impossible for one's own child to be unaware. Why didn't he walk away and stop this "perpetrator"?
The child is bullied, and the most angry thing for parents is not whether he has suffered losses or taken advantage, but is very concerned about whether the child will resist. A child who suffers silently like this is the most terrible, he obviously knows that someone is hurting himself, and he pretends not to know, even if his parents ask, he still says that he does not feel it, how can the child be so instigated? Not a little bit of courage?
The more children are instigated, the easier it is to become the target of bullying by bad children, and what is more frightening is that they will slowly form a habit and do not resist the cognition. The child is bullied by others, but does not know how to resist, the reason why the child behaves so "instigated" has a lot to do with his personality, and the parents give the child's family education is inseparable. Parents' wrong education of their children makes children feel that they should endure criticism and punishment, and how can they resist?
In the eyes of parents, children will always make mistakes
Ever since becoming a parent, people have become as if they have some obsessive-compulsive disorder. Children's cognitive abilities and adults are not on the same level, and we are always dissatisfied with what children do, often hitting children with words like "you are not right, you should..."
Children will feel that they are just wrong, and it is also right to accept criticism. Such a cognition takes root in the child's heart, which will make the child lose self-confidence and courage, and dare not resist when bullied and hurt.
Parents undermine their children's awareness of property rights
The older children should be given to the younger children, and the children of their own families should be given to the children of the guests, and many parents will do this when they teach their children to be civilized and polite.
I think it's more important to respect your child's wishes than to force your child to learn to share. In doing so, we will destroy the child's sense of property rights, and it is normal for the child to feel that his things have been robbed by others.
Parents often criticize their children, "Why do you instigate this?" ”
Children are very concerned about what their parents say about themselves. When the child is getting along with others, he suffers losses, and many parents will be very angry, and even scold their children, "Why are you so instigated?" ”
Our criticism is that we hate iron not steel, but in the eyes of the child, I am a bully, even my mother thinks so. The child will eventually become the way the parents say, you always say that he instigated, he can really become a very provocative look. We criticize educating children in the right way, not with agitated emotions and vicious language.
Why some children are strong and brave, and some children will be cowardly and timid, this is inseparable from the family environment in which the child is born and the family education received. To prevent children from becoming a "susceptible group" to be bullied, teach children that we should do the same.
I. Pay attention to cultivating children's self-confidence from an early age.
Children with stronger self-confidence, their likelihood of being bullied will be less likely, they are easy to make friends, and they also have the courage to resist. So those school bullies will automatically stay away from them.
Parents help children to build self-confidence, first of all to help children establish a sense of security, parents accompany the child more, when the child plays, try not to disturb them, when the child and the parents interact, the parents respond in time, so that the child feels that they are safe.
II. Parents cultivate their children's self-awareness.
A child's sense of self, from his own body to his own belongings, should be owned. We should let our children know that you are an independent individual, not an appendage of anyone, and that you have the right to decide your own affairs.
For example, if a child likes to play in a park bunker, the mother will say, "Go, go, go, there's something fun to walk fast." "Parents should learn to respect their children's interests and opinions and protect their children's sense of autonomy." Children may not be perfect in doing things, but we must try to accept and guide children to accept their imperfections in order to build strong self-confidence.
III. Parents should cultivate their children's ability to be independent.
Strong independence is also the key to children getting along happily with others and making themselves strong inside. The child feels that his ability is better than that of the friends around him, he is confident, and the children around him are also envious and admired.
Children with strong hands-on ability, children with excellent academic performance, they are generally rarely bullied. Therefore, parents cultivate their children's outstanding ability to prevent him from being bullied.
The best protection is to teach children the ability to protect themselves.