We often say that parents are a child's first teacher. Before each child goes to school, the parents' education, guidance and the atmosphere of the whole family are crucial to the physical and mental development of the child. A good family environment and parent-child relationship can make the child's personality more optimistic and lively.
On the contrary, if a family is full of quarrels, insults and even corporal punishment, then the child who grows up in this environment must be gloomy inside. Although education on children's mental health is now becoming more widespread, the incidence of such problems is high.
Imperfect kid
Imagine what kind of grade it should be like to be 14 years old. Just entering junior high school, compared with elementary school life, perhaps the schoolwork is gradually becoming heavier. But it is still in childhood, you can "sneak lazy" and parents in school to "play tricks"; you can giggle with your classmates and make trouble; you can go to the commissary to buy snacks after class and experience the joy of chasing stars together.
14 is supposed to be such an age that you can be imperfect and you don't have to be perfect. It's an "unscrupulous" age where you know everything but you don't know anything; you can still dream of becoming a scientist; you can also have the girlish heart of marrying a domineering president.
14 years old is like this, awkwardly in the transition period between a child and an adult, everyone does not treat you as a child, but no one treats you as an adult to be more real. In this flexible time period, 14-year-olds tend to have a more sensitive heart, because they have to get rid of some of the children's thoughts and carefully understand and accept the rules of the adult world.
The worldview, outlook on life, and values are slowly constructed at this time, this process is not easy, and the most important influencing factor is undoubtedly a pair of parents with good educational concepts.
However, with the rapid development of society, and everyone's emphasis on grades and academic qualifications. More and more parents are deviating from the focus of their children's education, resulting in the mental health of adolescents becoming a major social problem.
Fleeing is the only option
Some time ago, the jumping of a 14-year-old girl in Shanghai caused widespread concern in the society, and the three-page suicide note left by the girl was even more lamentable.
"Once in a lifetime, I am honored to meet you, if there is an afterlife, we will not meet again." It was the first sentence in the girl's suicide note, enough to see her disappointment with her parents. What kind of mental torture will make a 14-year-old child resolutely choose to leave this world.
"You don't love me, it's me who rushed into the top ten of the class, I am the top twenty in the grade", the sentence written by the girl in the suicide note should be able to resonate with many children of the same age.
Indeed, today's society puts too much pressure on children. From the beginning of primary school, all kinds of tutoring classes are not known on the name, piano, calligraphy, dance, painting and painting; in order not to let their children lose on the starting line, key middle schools, special teachers have to refer to. As everyone knows, parents themselves are the "starting line" of their children.
In addition to the pressure of schoolwork, the girl also suffered from her parents' insults to her personality, "polite in front of people, and I suffered the dirtiest insults you say after people."
It is said that the girl is the lover of the father's past life, the mother's intimate little cotton jacket, however, due to the long-term insult and depreciation of the parents, the girl's heart has become very sensitive and fragile. The 14-year-old girl is at her most innocent age, and the same age child may still be playing with her parents, but the girl often loses sleep due to verbal abuse and beatings.
"Slaps hurt the face the most, then the back of the hand, then the arms, and finally the thighs. The leg hurts the most when he is pulled by a belt or wire, then on the back and finally on the arms".
How many times it takes to go through physical torture to come up with such a summary, how many times it takes to undergo spiritual destruction to write such an experience plainly, let alone a child who is only fourteen years old. What ability does a fourteen-year-old have to resist, let alone that the perpetrator is his own biological parent. Perhaps, escape is the only option.
Parental negligence is the original sin
Soon after the incident, some people also spoke up from the perspective of their parents. Speaking of which, there is no parent who does not beat up their children, and the original intention of parents is only for the good of their children.
However, if it is really for the good of the child, why not put the child's happiness first. While saying that it is for the good of the children, he also exchanges the children's painful childhood experiences for small talk with friends. This kind of behavior is nothing more than the pursuit of one's own humble vanity.
After the girl's death, the school's teachers said that the girl had a good academic record and was very polite. Usually very quiet, I never imagined that she would make such an extreme move. The teacher was right, the girl was a very polite and good child, which can be seen in her suicide note.
In the suicide note, the girl said that she had saved up all the money she had saved every year, a total of thirty thousand yuan, and she had left all this money to her parents. And told his father not to forget to go to the hospital; tell his parents that after she left, he could take his grandmother to live;
Tell her parents to rest assured that she will not die at home, do not have to worry about the house becoming a murderous house; ask her parents to help her return the books she borrowed at school and thank the teacher; remind her parents that the tatami is dirty by herself, do not forget to wipe it clean with a rag; advise her parents not to treat her brother as if they were their own...
In the eyes of outsiders, this is undoubtedly a child who is both sensible and careful, and compared with the bad teenagers, this is simply called "someone else's child". But people are greedy and always want to get better. So nowadays, the real childhood time that belongs to children has become less and less, as if from the moment they step into the school, the competition begins, and the inner volume begins.
In this competitive pressure, family strife is inevitable. Good parents can lead by example, serve as an example for their children, solve problems with their children, and grow together; unqualified parents will only find reasons from their children and will only solve problems with violence. However, although the children are still young, they do not understand anything.
Every rebuke, every beating, they remembered, and perhaps the parents forgot when they were relieved; but for the children, the hurt was firmly imprinted on the heart.
In the end, perhaps like this little girl in Shanghai, the young mind cannot digest the long-standing backlog of emotions, and will choose to escape in its own way. For children, the simplest, fastest and most "retaliatory" way is undoubtedly to end their lives.
I don't know if the girl's departure will wake up the parents, or if they will be sad for the girl. Sad words, for the sake of dead children? Or is it to expose the true face of the public?