When children enter puberty, parents are under increasing pressure on discipline. Although the child in front of them is still the baby who raised himself from childhood to adulthood, the problems in their little heads are not easily understood and recognized by parents.
As a result, some people can't help but sigh that the difficulty of the child's education problems in adolescence is the sum of the difficulty of all the educational problems experienced before.
Recently, Sister Wang in the office was very troubled by the child's education, according to her words, "The child is not very old, and the temper is not small!" Sister Wang's daughter is in her second year of junior high school and has a good academic performance, but recently her relationship with her family has become "tense". At first, Sister Wang thought that her daughter's learning pressure was high and she did not like to communicate with people, but when she saw that her children and netizens could chat vigorously, her heart was really not a taste.
"When my daughter was a child, she especially liked to stick to me, and I don't know when she became a non-verbal person who didn't like to say a word to me!" When it comes to the change of her daughter, Sister Wang has some grievances and some helplessness. Recently, the daughter was even more because her mother peeked into her log. And cold war with Sister Wang, "You don't know how to respect people at all, I really don't want you to be my mother!" ”
Every sentence of the daughter's harsh words was rooted in Sister Wang's heart, "I am really worried that the child will become an enemy with me in the future, but didn't I just read her diary?" What if you take a look? After hearing Sister Wang say this, an older colleague came over to reassure, "This can only mean that the child has entered puberty, but you did not find out in time." ”
The older colleague then added, "The most important thing for adolescent children is personal privacy, and you peek into her diary, which is an act of inquiring about privacy." After puberty, you can no longer treat a child as a child, he is an equal adult like you. ”
01, children enter puberty, what changes will occur in their bodies?
After children enter puberty, their sense of self has increased significantly, they are eager to become more independent, and they are no longer willing to cooperate with their parents' arrangements. Children desperately want their ideas to be seen and realized, and children explore self-worth through personalized behavioral expressions. When children's ideas go against their parents' ideas, they are more inclined to choose to act according to their own ideas, so at this stage parents will find that children are easy to become stubborn.
During adolescence, children's self-esteem becomes stronger and they care more about the evaluation of others. At this time, their acceptance of "bad reviews" from others is low, and their emotional expression is often in an unstable state. Eager to become adults, they will encounter a lot of confusion on emotional issues, but the inner "arrogance" makes them shut up. Adolescent children are eager to be understood, but eager to protect their privacy, they are increasingly silent because they do not know how to communicate.
Adolescent children have ignorant feelings about emotions, and under the action of hormones, they can easily produce "good feelings" emotional experiences. This, coupled with the diversity of ways in which children access information nowadays, makes them more inclined to express their emotions outfront. Therefore, it is not surprising that parents find that their children have signs of early love at this time, and even say that this is a very normal adolescent phenomenon.
02, the child is in adolescence, parents must do these things well
Puberty is a critical stage in a child's development, and if parents are not able to teach properly, the resulting adverse consequences will be difficult for children to make up for as adults.
1. Give your child more respect
After the child enters puberty, parents should have more empathy for them, and try to look at the problem from the child's point of view to see the real crux of the problem.
When parents are willing to give their children respect, they who are in adolescence will feel the satisfaction of their inner value being recognized. When parents know more about the grasp of the sense of proportion, the independence of the child will be truly seen and recognized.
2. Give children more say
In parent-child communication, parents often say more than children say more meaningful and valuable, which is more important for adolescent children.
When adolescent children have more right to speak, they will have the interest to express their interest, admitting that their confusion and helplessness is not an easy task, and the gentle and patient communication method of parents can help avoid the embarrassment of "chicken and duck talk".
3. Give your child more loving feedback and response
For adolescent children, their emotional needs need to be taken seriously, so it is necessary for parents who are not good at expressing love to make changes at this stage. Let children feel a sense of security, presence and happiness in family life, such abundant emotional satisfaction, more able to help children form confident personality traits, more able to calmly come out, rapid growth brought about by emotional confusion.
Being good at expressing love is the golden key for parents to knock on the door of their children's hearts, and a warm family atmosphere can give children the courage and strength to get rid of the loneliness of growing up.
Tips: The issue of education in adolescence is worth parents spending more time thinking and thinking about, and making appropriate changes in the way of education, which is an opportunity for parents and children to pull into each other's emotional relationship. Parents' love for their children must have a sense of proportion, but also have a sense of tolerance, grasp the education and guidance of adolescence, and let the children grow up more smoothly.
In the early hours of the morning, mom came to nag:
The parent-child problem in adolescence is an extreme test of parents' patience and educational wisdom, but if parents can help their children take this step well, then I believe that this is an extremely valuable growth gain for parents and children.
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