"You are the best toy for children" Reading Notes 09 - How parents can do a good job of emotional guidance

According to the concept of emotional guidance, the author gives some solutions to some common problems encountered by parents at all ages of their children.

In fact, the essence of emotional guidance is to allow children to express emotions freely and easily without any repression or denial.

In ordinary daily life, when we use emotionally guided education, in order to promote positive communication with our children, we need to understand some of the basic elements of emotional guidance.

An essential element of emotional guidance

Understand and respect children, each child has their own personality and temper, so emotional guidance should also vary from person to person.

Understand your child's developmental stages to avoid setting unrealistic or inappropriate goals.

Pay close attention to any emotions your child wants to express and see your child's most difficult time to discipline as a good opportunity to get to know them.

Show empathy and support for your child's emotions and avoid denying, doubting, or belittling your child's emotions.

Enrich your child's emotional vocabulary by listening to and repeating them.

Create an equal relationship of "power-sharing" by sharing responsibilities with your children, but also by setting boundaries.

Mobilize your child's intrinsic agency rather than relying on external rewards to correct behavior.

Admit mistake when it's time to admit it

The parenting method of emotional guidance is not only a type of knowledge, but also a skill, and he needs more practice to master.

Although parents learned the method of emotional guidance, they also learned about some specific implementation cases. However, when it comes to practicing on their own, they will still encounter many difficulties and even make many mistakes.

Parents do not have to feel guilty about this, our purpose is not to pursue perfection, not to be a 100-point parent, but to try to stay away from the misunderstanding of parenting. Every effort you put in is achieving this goal.

When you find yourself retreating to ineffective educational methods, as long as you can stop your wrong behavior in time and repair your relationship with your child immediately, it will motivate you to become a better role model for your child.

In such cases, it is especially useful to admit the wrongdoing and apologize to the child.

You want your child to know that imperfection is not a mistake, and that all people make mistakes.

Parents who dare to admit their mistakes are using natural and healthy ways to help their children face the imperfections of the world and guide them to establish and maintain relationships with others.

When I read the book "You Are the Best Toy for Children", the biggest feeling is that parents should shift their attention from visible "behavior" to invisible "emotional feelings", and guide children to express their emotional feelings in an appropriate way.

The emotional guidance of the education method requires parents to have a correct understanding of emotions in order to guide children. Therefore, parenting must be raised first.

For the sharing of this book, this is the end of it. What are your feelings, ideas, suggestions, welcome to discuss in the comments section.