A mother's chagrin: My scolding and scolding made the child more violent
When you see the bear child appear, everyone will feel that the bear child is really hateful, in fact, the parents behind it are also very helpless for their children.
Specifically, in public places, they always violate the corresponding order, always bully others when walking with others, and even do things to their elders.
Such children will worry in the hearts of parents, because they are afraid that their children will be isolated by others, will not be able to integrate into the group, hurt others, and even whether they will have violent tendencies.
So why does a child have such a stubborn personality? What can parents do when children are like this?
In the face of this easy aggressive behavior of "bear children", we need to analyze it according to different age stages.
Let's talk about specific analysis and solutions.
01
Guidance for children before the age of admission
Parents should objectively view their child's aggressive behavior based on their child's age.
In fact, the "aggressive behavior" of children aged three and under at this stage is very normal, and parents can relax at this time, which does not have a violent tendency.
Usually children aged one year and younger are more likely to behave as temptation, which is how one-year-olds communicate with other children.
Children who are not familiar with each other explore and understand each other through the work of slapping, this behavior is inevitable, after all, children at this time cannot speak.
When children reach the age of two to three, children at this stage already have a preliminary sense of self, so they usually cannot accept things that are not to their liking.
When children face this situation, children usually do not like to communicate with words, but the first reaction is to solve it through physical behavior.
Because the child has not yet been able to clearly express his anxiety, the limb rises to the first language.
In the face of others holding their favorite toys, the first reaction is to grab them back.
Some children will be particularly eager to communicate with others or attract the attention of others, when they do not know how to do it, children will generally choose to show the bear child side.
Because this behavior allows children to quickly achieve their goals, gradually children will form habits.
Parents should know that at this time, the child has no concept of this behavior, so parents should be rational and do not choose to blame the child at the first time.
When parents see their children exhibiting such behavior, they should patiently remind and induce their children.
For example, when two babies play together, their own children want to establish contact with other children, want to get close to others and touch others, but they accidentally become a shoot.
Other children may not like such a shot, which further aggravates the physical behavior conflict between the two people.
To avoid such a situation, parents can make a kind reminder.
You can tell your child that such behavior is incorrect and show your child the correct way of touching.
Because of such reminders and teachings, children will know over time that this behavior is wrong and should be corrected.
Gentle reminders from parents can make children change their wrong behaviors.
In real life, it is possible to teach children what behavior communication is good through games.
Use the child's favorite doll to make the child feel empathy, and a gentle touch can make the doll feel happy, but vigorously slapping will only bring harm to the doll.
Do not underestimate the educational effect of this game on children.
02
Guidance for children after the age of admission
Beyond the age of three, the reasons for showing aggression toward others are more complex than those of children before the age of three, and there are many factors that lead to such a child.
Family environmental factors
Children's aggressive behavior is largely influenced by environmental influences, especially the family environment.
Many only children have no siblings, so it is easy to develop an excessively self-ego personality.
Because the child has only himself in his heart, the child will ask others to do things according to his own wishes.
If rejected, it will produce aggressive behavior, in order to prevent the child from doing this, the elders have to coax the child, after all, it is the only son.
This situation is very common, and the family spoils the child to the sky, resulting in the child's temper getting worse and worse.
Once a person is satisfied for a long time, once something backfires after forming a habit, the child will be furious, and if it is serious, it will even hit the elders.
However, many times, due to the inaction of parents, it can even be said that they are tolerant, resulting in the nature of children being worse.
At this time, the child has become a "little bully" because of the family environment.
Fish begins to rot from the head
Young children learn some skills through imitation, so some bad habits of parents are likely to appear in children.
Because children's ability to imitate is very strong, parents should be careful in words and deeds.
If parents choose to scold children who make mistakes, children will choose this way of dealing with others' mistakes in the future.
Because in families full of violent atmosphere, children will also be contaminated with violent anger, and as the pressure continues to increase, the behavior will become more excessive.
03
Therefore, in order to let the child avoid such behavior
Parents should do the same
Take a stand clearly with your child
Parents should not choose to ignore their children's aggressive behavior in the face of it.
Parents should know that the child is wrong with this behavior, but this behavior is not terrible.
The real scary part is that the parents turn a blind eye, and the child will think that this behavior is acquiesced, and it will become more serious in the future.
In the eyes of parents, they may feel that this is nothing, and even joke about their children, but in fact, this is completely wrong.
Children are not aware of their mistakes, and it is too late to interfere after they are really used to it.
In this case, a serious attitude should be used to prevent the child from further behavior, and serious criticism should be made, so that the child will realize that this behavior is wrong.
Teach your child how to express his feelings
In fact, there must be reasons why the child is crying or behaving abnormally, but it is not clear that the child is not a parent's problem.
Helping children solve emotional problems needs to be mastered by parents.
When witnessing a child's wrong behavior, parents do not reprimand the child at the first time, but first let the child realize his true emotions.
"Is it because others do not allow me to feel wronged?"
Asking the child in this way will make him realize his emotions and let the child know that this is grievance, anger, and anger
Because of the parents' approval, the child's emotions will be easier to calm down, and then they can also look at the problem from a rational point of view.
An apology session is essential
It is often focused on the child's beating, but apologies after the fact are just as important.
This link can make children realize that doing wrong things needs to be responsible, making mistakes is not terrible, and it is afraid of shirking responsibility.
In the face of the child's apology, parents should give appropriate encouragement.