Why doesn't the child remember revenge after yelling at the child? After reading the answer, it was too heartfelt, and countless parents could not cry
Not long ago, I saw a video of a little girl reviewing with tears, which made me think that the world of children is really beautiful.
The mother behind the screen must have been angry with the little girl, but the little girl looked at her mother's sincere words with tears in her eyes, and could not help but let countless people break their defenses.
She said that she actually loved her mother more, because her mother had only begun to love her in her twenties, but she had loved her mother from the beginning, and she had been much longer than her mother.
It is difficult for such sincere words not to enter people's hearts.
But in fact, we should think about the phenomenon behind this: what should children do to make up for the mistakes they have made.
Most parents think that filial piety comes out of the stick, and children who make mistakes are scolded to remember the lessons, because children will not remember revenge when they are young, but they will be grateful for their parents' education methods when they grow up.
We always gave the worst temper to the family, always thinking that the family did not have an overnight vendetta.
In fact, this logic does not stand up to scrutiny, and it is not the case.
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In fact, in the face of the parents' irritable rebuke, the child's heart is not completely free of concern, but because of helpless despair.
I still remember a video from my circle of friends before.
It was thought that the father was helping the child with homework, which may be a normal behavior, but the father in the video seems to be about to lose control, but the little boy is on the side to comfort the father:
Dad, can you talk well?
Dad, I really will.
Dad is so good.
The eyes of the little boy in the video are really too pitiful, and the child's understanding and reassurance can't help but make us feel the helplessness of the child at that time, so that adults may be less able to manage emotions than children.
A colleague once shared with me something about what children don't understand.
The cause of the incident was that her children were habitually rubbing, but the friend really couldn't see it, so he taught the child more seriously, and came with the punishment of slapping his hand. But to the surprise of the friend, the child seemed to be fine, still asking her for a hug and apologizing to her.
The friend actually knows in his heart that the son is to coax her, but the child's understanding makes the friend feel more guilty, because the child's understanding makes her eager to change, but she does not know the method.
This scene also appeared in the movie "You Are a Good Boy", and I have to say that the movie really originated from life. The children in the film face their mother's repeated tantrums are also silently endured, and they will not tire of coaxing their mothers.
In the film, even if she looks at her favorite cartoons, she does not dare to make a sound, and she does not dare to sing loudly at home.
In the face of bullying by others, Xiao Caiyin did not dare to defend herself.
She is cautious in her daily life, because she is afraid of making mistakes and does not know when her mother will scold her.
Perhaps in the eyes of ordinary people, such a child who does not cry or make trouble looks very well-behaved, but only a few people can see that the child is extremely insecure, and over time, the child's psychological fluctuations will be greater and will become very fragile.
In the face of reprimand, children usually do not feel that adults are wrong, but the first to reflect on whether they are really wrong to make adults angry, and the inner doubt makes children feel that everything is due to their lack of excellence.
The long period of repression made them no longer dare to express their true feelings in their hearts.
Children who grow up in this environment will have more inferiority than others, and they will remain resigned and hide their inner thoughts and feelings.
Children often make parents think that it is okay to look at things inappropriately, but in fact, things are always more complicated than they look on the surface.
Children who have no chicken power are very attached to their parents at this age, because their minds and survival ability are not yet mature at this time, so behind the silence is more helpless.
The reason why there are so many troubled teenagers in adolescence is because the problems of childhood accumulate to this period, and teenagers at this time feel that they have the ability to survive in this society, so they often dare to rebel against their parents.
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The emotional loss of control of parents at the beginning will become a shadow that is difficult to illuminate in the child's future heart.
The negative impact of stick education is far greater than we think.
The famous movie star Chen Qiaoen also has such a psychological shadow, from childhood to adulthood, she has not felt the encouragement of her mother, and she has always silently endured everything that should not be borne at that age.
Because of her mother's inhuman treatment, she thinks that ghosts are even friendlier than mothers.
Because of her poor academic performance as a child, her mother beat her harshly more than once, causing her to dare not say anything, because she felt that she would be scolded for doing anything.
Numerous experiments have shown that the harm caused by verbal violence will still exist no matter how long it takes.
Not only Chen Qiaoen has such an experience, CCTV famous mouth Dong Qing is no exception.
Even if Dong Qing has become an excellent person now, he will still shed tears when talking about his father, he has restricted Dong Qing from doing a lot of things he likes to do since he was a child, and forced her to do things she does not like, because in this way, this shadow still exists.
Maybe we haven't met enough people, but in fact, the age of counselors has already moved down a lot.
What is it that makes my child so fond of nibbling on his nails, even if he sees blood?
Why do children have so many more scratches on their hands?
Why are you sweating profusely on every exam?
All kinds of problems can reflect the phenomenon that the child has shown anxiety, and this behavior is the way for the child to decompress.
It is said to give children a happy childhood, but now many parents have forgotten this matter, hoping that parents can manage their emotions, care more about their children, and give their children a happy childhood, cherishing this lovely time of their children.
I hope that every pair of parents can brake in time when their children's emotions are about to get out of control, and they must know that parents are the warm harbor of their children, and do not let this harbor become no longer warm.
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Criminal psychologists once said that the root cause of a person's real destruction is verbal violence by their parents.
I always believe that treatment is mutual, how adults treat children when they are young, how children will treat the elderly when they grow up, not all grievances can be released.
We should all be well aware of the power of language, which can crush a person, but it is more important to use language to warm a person.
Children who have not yet been tested by society are pure in their hearts, but how to guard this pure place requires the efforts of the child's first teacher, starting with gentle words.
Many writers can correctly describe the relationship between children and parents, in fact, children are not parents' objects, they should have their own thoughts, so both sides should have equal communication and establish a truly equal relationship.