In the variety show "Super Brain Youth League", there was such a heart-warming scene.
Although the little boy Gao Peiqi was very strong, he still lost the game and couldn't help but shed tears.
After seeing his son's frustrated look, the father picked up the microphone and said softly and firmly:
"Pei Qi, I think this time I am already very happy... At home, we often say that victory is like candy, eating too much teeth will be bad, failure is like medicine, can cure your disease, come on! ”
Seeing Pei Qi's father's gentle attitude, even the host was touched by it and sighed:
"China has been saying strict fathers and mothers for thousands of years, but now I see that my fathers are gentler than the other, the paper-deliverers and tears are generally the fathers, and the mothers are more resolute than the other."
If we observe carefully in life, it is not difficult to find that this seems to be the case.
In the educational concept of the older generation, it has always been emphasized that "strict father and mother", only by following the inherent image of the father being strict and the mother spoiling, can the two be strong and soft to give the best education to the child.
But now in many families, there are more and more configurations of "strict mothers and loving fathers", mothers are strict with their children, and fathers act as children's spiritual mentors, infinitely gentle in educating children.
So which of the two family education models is more conducive to the growth of children?
"Loving mothers" tend to spoil their children
Professor Li Meijin once said: "In the past, we often said that loving mothers are strict fathers, but in fact, the best education should be strict mothers and loving fathers, mothers should be strict and firm, and fathers should be rational and kind." ”
Because of the innate personality traits of men and women, mothers tend to be more likely to coddle when educating their children, and if they blindly get along with their children in the image of "loving mothers", it is not conducive to the healthy growth of children.
For example, the star Mother Mashuya, she has always obeyed the child, when participating in a variety show, as long as the baby shouts "Mommy", Marshya will appear in an instant, incarnating as Superman to help the child solve any problem.
However, it is precisely this kind of "loving mother" that completely harms the child.
When she participated in the program, Marshua's daughter was 4 years old, but she could not even go to the toilet independently, and the meal must be fed by adults, so after entering the kindergarten, she was persuaded by the teacher to quit and asked Marshua to correct the child's problem within two weeks.
In addition to the star mother, whether on the Internet or in life, we can often see some children facing their mothers, without the slightest respect for their children's parents, and even speak harshly to their mothers, punching and kicking, and the so-called "loving mothers" are exchanged for the child's intensification.
Therefore, being a mother is appropriately strict, the healthy growth of the child is actually a good thing, the so-called "loving mother and many losers", we as the mother of the child, can not be because of their own gentleness and connivance, let the child become fearless.
"Strict father" will make children more vulnerable
In the variety show "Let's Go Together", Yang Shuo's performance can be called a typical "Chinese-style strict father" image.
At the beginning of the show, when choosing a house, in the face of the child's choice, Yang Shuo directly ignored it, although he finally agreed to the child's choice, but he praised the child as "sticky" in a "yin and yang weird way".
In the process of taking the child to do the plateau exercise, the child walked on his own throughout the whole process, even if it was difficult to stick to it, Yang Shuo only said indifferently, "Can you hurry?" If you can't, I'll let you run to the village entrance and come back"!
Similar to Yang Shuo's "strict father model" education, completely ignore the child's rights as an independent individual, under such discipline, the child will only become more and more cowardly, timid, inferior, difficult to obtain a sense of security, and the relationship with the father will also appear irreparable cracks.
A study at the University of Cambridge in the United Kingdom found that "the use of verbal violence by fathers against their children is much more serious than the use of verbal violence by mothers against their children." ”
As a father, in fact, you don't have to imprison yourself in the image of a "strict father", try to get along with your children in the mode of friends, and become a "loving father", which is more beneficial to the growth of children.
"Strict mother and loving father" is a better education for children
A healthy family education model should be strict and gentle at the same time, and help children go further with love, encouragement and respect.
Compared with strict fathers and loving mothers, such a family education model as strict mothers and loving fathers can allow children to develop a sense of rules without hindering the release of nature and have better development.
Just like in the TV series "Family with Children", father Xia Donghai is a typical "loving father" image, and the children are like brothers and sisters, every time Liu Xing and Xia Xue encounter any growth problems, they will always provide intimate help at the first time.
And the mother Liu Mei is a "strict mother" without compromise, the child will directly criticize the wrong thing, and the discipline of the children is never relaxed.
It is in this educational model that the 3 children have a very happy growth environment, even if it is a remarried family, there is no contradiction that is difficult to reconcile.
So when we educate our children, mothers may wish to become strict and firm, and fathers can try to become kind, which is a better way to educate children.
Write at the end:
The traditional concept of "male outside, female inside", put into the modern family is undoubtedly not appropriate, in the education of children, "strict mother and loving father" model, than "strict father and mother" is better.
Today's topic: Is your family a "strict father and loving mother" or a "strict mother and loving father"?