01
In Haruki Murakami's novel The Norwegian Forest, there is a passage like this:
"In the windy and sunny weather, we will feel that the blue sky is charming, but also feel how delicate the lake is."
The same applies to men and women who are greedy for extramarital feelings.
On the one hand, they enjoy the quiet years in marriage, and on the other hand, they covet the stimulation and romance outside of marriage. On the basis of marriage, the attempt is to have an unknowing extramarital relationship.
However, there are traces of anything happening. When a woman falls in love with a man outside of marriage, there are often some abnormal manifestations in daily life. As long as you are attentive, you can perceive it.
The company has a male colleague who is affectionate with his wife on weekdays. In the first two years of marriage, because my career had just started, I never had children.
When he was ready to put the matter of giving birth to a baby on the itinerary, he found that his wife's recent performance was very abnormal, always cloudy and uncertain, and the wind was raining.
Later, after some observation, it was found that the wife and one of her male colleagues had a close relationship and had an extramarital relationship.
Colleagues certainly can't stand it. Taking advantage of the fact that he did not have children, he decisively proposed divorce.
I have to say that colleagues are wise. After discovering his wife's abnormality, he investigated and collected evidence at the first time to minimize the harm to himself.
How does a man in a marriage find out that his wife is wrong?
Usually, when a woman has an affair outside of marriage, she will show it in three moments, and the careless husband often does not notice it.
02
The first kind of moment: the slightest discord will quarrel with the husband.
It is said that men's hearts are big, while women's hearts are small.
A man's heart can accommodate several women at the same time. First love, ex, female colleague, old classmate, encounter in the night show... All of them can be packed into the heart.
And they also have a housekeeping skill, that is, when they get along with any of them "true love", they can always make the other party think that she is the only one, and the man in front of them only loves her.
After dealing with those harem beauties outside of marriage, after returning home, the man can still be gentle and considerate to his wife and maintain his "good husband" personality.
Therefore, in the face of the betrayal of their husbands, many wives are not easy to detect.
Unlike women, women can only love one person at a time.
It is the so-called "lover's eyes out of the West". When a woman falls in love with a man outside of marriage, she tends to automatically ignore the other person's shortcomings while amplifying his strengths. Use love to plaster each other with a layer of "gold edge".
In front of the glittering extramarital man, the husband is doomed to be eclipsed.
As Yishu said:
"When a man doesn't love this woman, it's wrong for her to cry, it's wrong to be silent, it's wrong to breathe alive, it's even wrong to die."
The same goes for women.
When she has contrasts and is partial to men outside of marriage, her husband becomes useless. The slightest discord will cause an argument with him.
So men must be vigilant, when the wife is always throwing tantrums with you for no reason, don't think that she is just menopause in advance, which is often the most direct manifestation of her other new love.
The second kind of moment: usually full of energy, but unable to lift the spirit when facing her husband.
It is said that love is the best skin care product for women.
When a woman who has been in the triviality of the family for a long time regains a love outside of marriage, it is like a flower that is about to wither and is irrigated by the rain and gradually has vitality.
She began to pay attention to her own dress, just like when she was in love with her husband, and wanted to show the best side to the most beloved man. Because there is anticipation and yearning in my heart, the whole person looks brighter.
At the same time, her attitude towards her husband became more and more perfunctory and indifferent.
For example, when a husband proposes to go for a break or do something together, they often seem impatient. Even if her husband wanted to talk to her, she looked like she didn't care.
Jasmine (pseudonym) is in this state after having an affair outside of marriage.
She said bluntly that when she had never met a man outside of marriage before, although she did not have a very good relationship with her husband, she had not yet reached the point of hating her husband.
After having extramarital feelings, I should respond to the phrase "there is no harm without contrast", and I always feel that it is not pleasing to see my husband and do not want to take care of him.
Although sometimes, she also wants to make a show not to make her husband suspicious, but she does not know why she can't lift her spirits and doesn't even bother to act.
The third moment: there has been some change in hobbies.
In life, whether a man or a woman, when she likes a person, she will always unconsciously want to know everything about the other person, including his preferences. And change according to his preferences, trying to cater to each other.
If a man likes sports, she starts by learning to run;
If a man likes photography, she must also be happy to fiddle with the camera;
If a man likes art, she hates not being able to put all the poetry and songs into her mind.
What a man likes, her hobbies will become, even if she herself is not actually interested. The purpose of this is nothing more than to attract the attention of the beloved man and make him feel that he is his "soul fit".
Just as in the TV series "You Against the Current", the heroine Gao MiShan married the rich man Zhou Kai and loved each other deeply.
However, the other party only regards her as a "tool person" to cope with the family's urging to get married and have children, and does not cherish the heroine at all. On the contrary, after getting married, he still broke off the connection with his ex.
In order to please her husband," when she learned that he liked literature, the heroine recited poems wildly and tried to cater to his preferences.
Although the effect is not ideal, it truly shows the careful machine of a woman who wants to get close to each other by cultivating common hobbies when she loves a man.
03
The most unacceptable thing in marriage is the betrayal from the lover.
Therefore, in daily life, men must be vigilant. When the wife has the above three manifestations, whether she has made a substantial act of betraying the marriage or not, it shows to a certain extent that there is a problem with the feelings between you.
If men still want to save their marriages, they must do "early detection, early treatment" and find ways to get your marriage on track as soon as possible.
Even if you can't forgive, detecting abnormalities early can prevent yourself from suffering more harm.
Just like the male colleague mentioned in the opening paragraph. Suppose he had discovered his wife's extramarital secrets when he had children, he would never have been so decisive, and his life would have been a different story.
Marriage is sacred, and men and women in every marriage should always have reverence.
At any time, if you love, don't hurt. Don't love anymore, please leave.
Text/No Pen