01
In recent years, people have been paying attention to the question of whether parents should bring babies for their children after retirement.
Some people feel that it is the duty of parents to bring babies for their children, and it is also an act of reducing the burden on young people. If you can, I hope that parents can "take the baby" to the old age.
Some people feel that parents have the freedom to live, whether they have a baby or not, it depends on the parents' wishes, not forced. It's just that parents can bring their babies, and that's the best outcome.
Some people feel that parents with babies will only cause more family conflicts. This is not a family problem, but an unavoidable "common disease of life".
If you had to choose, would you rather your parents bring a baby, or would you like to bring your own baby?
I believe that everyone wants their parents to bring their babies. However, not everyone is at ease with their parents with their babies. It is possible that parents have paid hard work and money, and in the end they are thankless and rejected by their children.
The contradiction between people is not as simple as we think. As long as parents and children are too close, coupled with the thankless behavior of "bringing a baby", the contradiction between parents and children will break out.
Perhaps, the problems in this are worthy of our careful consideration.
02
Some time ago, I was exposed to a case.
Mr. and Mrs. Chen both work in Guangzhou, and although they are not local natives, they bought a house in Guangzhou and at least have a small nest where they can live in peace.
Since they had their second child, they felt more and more overwhelmed. The money problem is fine, as long as they are willing to work, then the mortgage and milk powder money are not a problem. However, whoever brought the baby, this stumped Mr. chen and his wife.
In order to ensure that the children are healthy and healthy, and grow up safely and steadily, Mr. Chen consulted with his parents who were far away in the countryside, hoping that they could live in Guangzhou and help them bring their babies.
After hearing this, the parents also felt that it was not easy for their son and husband to agree, so they smoothly agreed. In the eyes of parents, there is nothing to do after retirement anyway, and taking a baby is also a good thing that benefits future generations.
After coming to Guangzhou, his parents were placed in an apartment by Mr. Chen. The apartment was next door to the neighborhood where he lived, and it was so close that it wasn't too high for a month.
After understanding the situation of the child, the elderly also began the busy life of "taking the child".
Every morning, grandparents take their grandchildren to school, pick up their children from school at noon, and cook them a good meal. In the evening, you still need to pick up the child and go back to Mr. Chen's house, if you can, by the way, help Mr. Chen sort out the housework and cook dinner.
However, because the pressure of the mortgage and raising two children is too great, Mr. Chen did not give his parents any subsidies, but the parents paid money from their savings to raise two grandchildren.
03
I thought that this life could last forever. Who knows, one day, Mr. Chen's wife found a problem, the eldest son who is in primary school has worse and worse grades, while the younger son who is reading kindergarten is always sick.
This makes the wife particularly annoyed, the eldest son has poor grades, even if it is, why is the younger son always sick? It must be that the old man did not take good care of these two children.
After understanding the situation, Mr. and Mrs. Chen learned that as soon as the eldest son went to his grandparents' house, he played with his mobile phone and brushed the tablet there, basically without the concept of time. And the younger son? Grandparents always follow his temperament, what he wants to eat, grandparents buy what, anyway a little "doting" on them.
In this regard, the wife directly put forward opinions to the elderly, taking care of the children so much, doting on them so much, will only affect their growth, do not know whether the in-laws have a heart for their children and grandchildren.
After listening to the daughter-in-law's words, the mother-in-law was also annoyed, we traveled thousands of miles to the strange city to bring you the baby, kindly take care of your family's life, not a dime has been spent on your family, who knows that in exchange for such a result, it is thankless.
In this way, the contradictions of the whole family are highlighted. Mr. Chen was sandwiched in the middle and did not know what to do. The contradiction between the wife and the parents has just caused a series of problems, and even affected Mr. Chen's marriage.
04
Parents wholeheartedly take the baby, why are they still thankless? There are three reasons for this.
Reason one: The gap between young and old people will create contradictions that cannot be alleviated.
Every generation has its own ideas, and when these ideas conflict, the contradictions between people arise. More importantly, the closer the two sides are, the more likely it is to appear disgusted.
The old man above did a particularly good job, but he was disliked by his son and daughter-in-law. This is the question of perception. No one can be a person who is completely following the ideas of others. In this way, contradictions will inevitably breed.
Reason two: the humanity of "100-1=0".
You have done 99 good deeds, but if you do a wrong thing in the future, then others will turn their faces and not recognize people, directly magnifiing your shortcomings without remembering what good deeds you have done. This is human nature.
For example, if parents have been doing well, and only one day they do not do well, then the children will resent their parents and even deny their previous words and deeds. In this way, contradictions arise.
Reason three: excessively harsh, this is an unchangeable reality.
Young people with babies, if the child is sick, I believe they will not say anything, only think that the occasional wind chill, very normal.
On the contrary, the elderly with babies, if the child is sick, I believe they will be particularly annoyed, thinking that the elderly are not doing their best. Such harshness will create family contradictions.
Can this be avoided? Can't be avoided. Because no one can do "empathy". At this time, the contradiction will only become more and more serious, affecting the harmony of the family.
Wen/Shushan has deer