Today's Chinese families pay more attention to their children's education than at any other time. Therefore, in the blind obedience, the essence of education is increasingly distorted.
I believe that in China, many families put their children first.
The child is the whole of the family, the heart of the adult, holding it in the hand for fear of shattering, and containing it in the mouth for fear of melting.
Everything revolves around the child, and it is possible to create conditions for the child to grow and learn.
Accompanied by kindergarten, accompanied by primary school, read a good junior high school, and was admitted to an ideal high school, the family can finally raise their eyebrows and breathe, thinking that his future has unlimited possibilities. However, who would have thought that the outcome that awaited them was such?
If that's the case, why do you have to let him go out to study? What rank do you have to let him compete for, famous school? Is it not good for him to be an ordinary ordinary person?
Rethinking our education, what are we most concerned about? Note your child's performance at school? Pay attention to whether the child is obedient? Is there any naughtiness? What about academic performance? Did you speak in class? Have you been praised? How's it going? How's it going? How was the stay? ..... Wait, but the most important thing is not paid attention to.
When our material conditions are getting better and better, the value orientation of family education begins to slowly distort and alienate.
Standing in the torrent of the times, everyone seems to have never dared to slacken off, and in order to fight for more benefits for themselves and their families, they rushed day and night to fight.
There is no time to take care of the child, no time to accompany the child, and there is no heart to pay attention to the child's heart.
Always say in front of the children: "Parents work so hard, all for you!" "But I don't know that what the child needs is not such persuasion, nor does he need you to work for him like this, but what is needed is a real warm embrace and equal dialogue, what is needed is that his parents can accompany him to eat, chat, play, watch TV, go on outings, and what he needs is that his parents can understand their hearts and can give them the space and time to be independent.
In fact, what we have not paid attention to is their psychology, whether they have a sunny and positive psychology, many parents may not be able to know throughout their lives.
Many parents work their children's academics, and do whatever it takes to choose a school, make up for it, make up lessons, and cultivate their strengths.
There are also many parents who spend a lot of time and energy to "accompany reading" and "waiter reading" to be full-time logistics for their children. Whether this is good or not, I am not in a position to draw this conclusion for the time being. But I think that everything must have a degree, and the extreme must be the opposite.
Sometimes, I really worry that such a generous package will make children develop "modern laziness", consume children's will, stifle children's fighting spirit, nourish their fragile hearts, and make them feel that there are no difficulties and setbacks in the world, all problems can be settled by parents, and all suffering money can be solved.
Many terrible facts force me to think, what is the most lacking in modern family education? Are the material conditions? Or spiritual nurturing?
I am a teacher who has been teaching for more than ten years, and I feel that I am a person who is good at learning and researching, but when facing the education of my children, I often feel powerless. On the one hand, the child's education wife does more and I participate less. On the other hand, even though I was involved, it didn't really work well. Therefore, it is often tightly managed, afraid of hurting his character, loosening it, and afraid that he will develop bad habits. It's really left and right, it's a dilemma. But I am convinced that education must have a "degree" between "management" and "disregard", so I have been trying to find this "degree".
Some tutor experts pointed out that there are only three things to do to raise children: "reading, sports, and doing handicrafts." In fact, this is also the most important content of cultivating and educating children. A strong physique and a healthy mind are the greatest capital for children to become adults. If you lose this capital, even if you get 100 percent in all your homework, it will be in vain. I really can't imagine what a person who is psychologically fragile and can't withstand a little setback can do when he goes to society in the future. Where in society are there no setbacks? No difficulties?
Imagine our life, in fact, no matter what people do, no matter where they are, they live is a mentality. Good mentality, naturally good life, natural happiness. I don't know if everyone agrees with me on this point. As long as the child loves to read, like sports, good at thinking and diligent in hands-on, even if the grades are temporarily bad, it doesn't matter. I believe that such a child will eventually become an adult.
I admit that my wife and I didn't succeed in our education.
My child is not very good, and he has many weaknesses in his personality, such as mediocre qualifications, mediocre performance, mediocre grades, shy and introverted, too well-behaved, and does not like sports.
I know that these character formations are all related to our tutors. My wife and I are impatient people, and when we can't resist, we often yell at the children, and often set various restrictions for the children: "This can't move, that can't get, this can't, that can't..., all the negative signals passed to him, which makes him a well-behaved child in the minds of our parents, but it leads to the formation and reinforcement of his weak character."
When my child was in the third grade, the main reason why I resolutely decided to take the child alone was this.
I know that in the education of children, fathers cannot be absent, especially the education of boys, which requires the participation of fathers. I know even more that behind every problem child, there is a problem dad. How high the quality of the father is, how high the child can fly. Therefore, every time I reflect on my own educational behavior, I am full of remorse and pain.
But I believe that I can change myself for the sake of my children and am willing to learn to be a qualified father.
Of course, our tutor also has successes, such as cultivating his habit of loving reading, cultivating his serious and meticulous attitude, cultivating his meticulous thinking and rigorous attitude, cultivating his strong cognitive and learning ability, cultivating his strong desire for knowledge and language perception ability, cultivating his habit of being able to complete learning tasks independently and seriously, cultivating his habit of using his brain and loving labor, and so on.
I once wrote in an article that my children were more like an artemisia plant scattered in the field than the delicate bonsai.
He's really ordinary, nothing special about him, nothing special about his talents. But I don't feel sorry for my children's mediocre qualifications and mediocre performance, nor do I envy who is whose children are. Each flower has its own flowering period, some flowers bloom at the beginning, some flowers need to wait patiently, and some will not bloom for a lifetime, because he is a tree himself. I believe that my child will one day show his potential.
In his growth, I only hope that he can really have a strong physique, a healthy mind, good psychological qualities, a positive attitude towards life, a correct outlook on life, values, ethics, and a happy, fulfilling, and happy life.
If so, it was my greatest educational success.