This article is transferred from: Junior Business School (ID: youthmba)
Wen 丨 Louise Ames
This article is excerpted from his book "Your N-Year-Old"
The Gesell Institute for Child Development at Yale University has tracked children for more than 40 years and studied the changes and development of children's behavior, especially adolescents, and the final results show that the growth patterns of human behavior are very regular, and can even predict fairly accurately what stages of behavior children will be after a certain stage of behavior.
In fact, we don't really know our children.
Why not be as "obedient" as before?
Why not be as lively as before?
Why did you start lying?
Why is academic performance getting worse?
……
The "why" of these children growing up, we often don't understand... We understand this life course, not only look back on our past lives, but also will surely illuminate the future journey of our children!
Today, I will share with you the research results, the behavioral characteristics and laws of 7-14-year-old children, especially the 9-year-old has become a key year for children's learning ability to change greatly. Although every child is different, we should dare to let the child be themselves, and still believe that the following results can help parents truly understand their children.
7 years old
I care deeply about my place and worth in the family.
7-year-olds don't talk back to you like they did when they were 6, but they don't like to socialize with people as much. He often has a poor memory, is easily distracted, grinds and rubs at work, and is not interested in helping with housework. When others ask him to do something, he often does not answer or act for half a day.
He lives in his own secret garden, imbued with a sentimental tone. He will feel that others do not like him and intentionally trouble him. It's easy for 7-year-olds to imagine everything going badly.
7-year-old children are very concerned about school is not late, homework is completed in time, their own things are received by their own place, children from this time, more know how to care about how others evaluate him.
To be precise, he began to care a lot about what the teacher thought of him, and began to have the intention of being a good student who satisfied the teacher. Moreover, his mind had matured to the point where he needed his own space.
That's why he likes to receive his stuff where he belongs. If he could, the child would need his own table, his own drawer, his own box, his own bed.
7-year-olds not only have much smaller handwriting, but also like to specialize in very small things, because their eyes and brains have developed to this stage. He would like to look very closely, even if his eyes touched the thing.
7-year-olds care a lot about their place and value in the family. Although the establishment of moral concepts does not begin to take shape until the age of 8, the bud of a 7-year-old baby has begun to establish a sense of morality.
He began to care not to take other people's things (although occasionally he would take them); not to lie, to deceive people, not to deny or prevaricate what was wrong; and he would be very willing to follow the rules and abide by them.
8 years old
Suddenly it becomes a talking box.
Contrary to the 7-year-old, he suddenly became a talking box. His requirements for himself and others suddenly became strict, and it could even be said that he was very harsh. This "scrutiny" also allows him to have a fairly accurate judgment of the extent of his ability.
Another milestone in the growth of 8-year-olds is when they begin to establish moral perceptions of right and wrong and begin to understand the causal relationship between things and things. He is very willing to be a good child, willing to do things well, willing to follow the rules.
His concept of good and bad is no longer limited to whether his parents are allowed to do it, but according to his budding causal logic, he initially established the concept of right and wrong. Previously, children's judgments of "good" and "bad" came from their parents' "permission" or "disapproval."
The 8-year-old's view of "right and wrong" is no longer a simple "good and bad" polarity, and his thinking begins to be full. He cares a lot about how he feels about himself and how others feel about him.
He would listen to what adults would say about him when they were chatting, or figure out the faces they looked like when they spoke, hoping to be recognized and praised by others, and very sensitive to the criticism of others. So when he is accused and criticized, he often finds reasons or blames others first, so as to make himself easier to bear.
8-year-olds are the age when they need their mothers most emotionally. He desperately needs his mom to share his thoughts, fantasies, conversations, games. He always likes to be with his mother, including working, playing, chatting, and reading, which makes him feel that he "owns" his mother in his entirety.
No matter how busy the mother is, she must set aside at least half an hour a day to wholeheartedly meet the psychological needs of the child's "full possession of the mother". This will help the child successfully pass the psychological attachment period to the mother, and lay a good foundation for the child to calmly move towards the independence of 9 years old.
He was full of interest in exploration and exploration, and the sense of space expanded a lot. He can take the bus home on a familiar path by himself, and the scope of exploration in his own neighborhood is getting bigger and bigger, even crossing the line to run to other people's private yards.
He loves geography, studies and even uses maps. However, it is important to note that the proportion of injuries among 8-year-olds is the highest among all age groups.
8-year-olds are sensitive to the relationship between their parents. He began to pay attention to what was happening at home, including the calls, letters, and small talk of adults, trying to find a place in the family.
He loves to play with children of the same age and likes to play with children of the same gender. The friendship at this time is a true two-way friendship, because he is no longer simply self-centered, and he begins to pay attention to what others do and think. He is not only willing to serve others, but also hopes that others will be as willing to repay him as he is.
9 year olds
Independent and persistent age, learning ability spans a year of improvement.
In the years prior to that, with each grade, the difficulty of the homework requirements seemed to increase only a little more than in the previous year.
But now it has encountered a huge leap forward: to be competent in the fourth grade, it is necessary not only for children to have new ways of thinking and new abstractions, but also for children to use new methods to use some knowledge that they have learned before and can remember more or less today.
Teachers are well aware that the requirements for fourth-graders are a leap forward, but many parents are unaware of this.
Therefore, if a child who has been learning well in the past suddenly becomes very difficult to learn unexpectedly, it will often feel very strange to parents.
Although many nine-year-olds do face quite severe schoolwork requirements, more children still like to go to school. The whole routine of getting up in the morning and getting ready for school has now gone fairly smoothly, there is little more hustle and bustle, and most children have taken on many of the things they are ready to go to school.
However, having said that, a nine-year-old boy may still lose everything, even if he has prepared the night before and put everything he should take in the right place, but when he goes to school, he may still not bring all the things he should bring, and you still have to remind him from time to time.
Children may come home to talk about school more than before. He especially liked to talk about some of his own successful, outstanding performances, and about certain special things that happened at school.
Because a sense of accomplishment is so important to children of this age, little boys and girls tend to be very strong, whether they are doing homework or playing, they are not willing to fail, they have to do their best.
10 years old
Life is very good, a child of action, not a child of thought.
Children feel as if there is really a watershed between the ages of 9 and 10, and once they cross the past, the child climbs a new mountain, comes to a new region, and enters a new growth cycle from 10 to 14 years old. Of course, some children are still not standing well in this new territory, and they are not yet fully prepared.
Overall, a 10-year-old has a much better life than when he was 9, especially since he can "do more things" in general. A 10-year-old is an action kid, not a thinking kid. A simple thing can bring him great pleasures, such as hanging out after dinner, no homework, and visiting a children's playground.
There are very few emotions of fear. Children who used to be afraid of dogs and the dark are now naturally no longer afraid of these.
The most common expression of emotion in 10-year-olds is anger, which is enough to surprise you, right? This contented, cooperative, cute little 10-year-old child got angry, and it was called a volcanic eruption, fast and fierce, and even kicked and bitten.
If he could control it a little better, he would open his mouth and scold, he would cry, and he would stomp his feet and go back to his house.
Although 10-year-olds can cry angrily, in general they feel that "how old are they, how can they cry", so the tears at this age are the fewest.
A boy might tell you firmly, "If it's cut, or if they don't take me anywhere, I won't cry," but if Dad dies, he will still cry.
The child who was still in tears just now can talk to you so calmly in the blink of an eye. Sadness sometimes brings them to tears, but not often, and they are more likely to cry with anger.
A 10-year-old may be sad, and of course it usually doesn't hurt too much. If anyone breaks his heart, some children will "cry and go home", and some children will pretend to be indifferent and quickly calm down and cover up their embarrassment.
11 years old
Always in a dynamic age, the state is unstable.
11-year-olds do not deliberately do regular things in terms of self-care and daily routine.
Emotionally, the signs of rebellion have grown. 11-year-old children are growing in self-awareness, independent awareness is enhanced, capriciousness is the norm, parents should understand.
In terms of activities and hobbies, confrontation increases, and reluctance to play alone. In school, teachers are beginning to be very strict, and teachers are also facing challenges.
12 years old
Personality and action are in a more ideal state, and the characteristics of early adolescence are highlighted.
12-year-old children's self-care and daily routines have made adults feel at ease, and the reduction of negative emotions is the main feature of this age. They are self-confident, independent, empathetic, and self-assertive.
In terms of interpersonal relationships, relations with family members are relaxed, and there is no longer exclusion between the opposite sex, while interests are widespread and group activities are preferred. Passionate about student life, even over-enthusiastic.
In terms of morality, they have a little more thinking and a little less impulsiveness.
13 years old
During the year when my personality is entangled, my hands-on ability has flashed a flash of inspiration.
13-year-olds will make a sudden turn or brake sharply on the road to youth. He changed the sunshine and composure of his 12-year-old and fell into a state of entanglement again. Unwilling to socialize, introverted, a little withdrawn, unwilling to be spied on by others.
Although he does not like to deal with adults, he already has his own unique views on problems. At this time, he began to know how to restrain himself, would not eat endlessly, and basically went to bed on time.
Although his personality at this time was gloomy, pessimistic, and secretive. However, in terms of hands-on, they have frequent flashes of inspiration, like to knock and beat, and repair and make things by themselves.
Overall, 13-year-olds have clearly shown the characteristics of adolescents.
14 years old
A year full of vitality, but can not ignore the unexpected events that occur.
As he moves from screwing 13 to 14, in this year of life, you'll see teenagers with changeable characters. He loves school, loves to socialize with people, and is willing to make his life very fulfilling.
At 14, he is more inclusive and no longer less critical of things he did a year ago.
Despite all the advantages of 14-year-olds, it cannot be ignored that some boys and girls are exposed to drugs at this time. In terms of sex, 14-year-olds do not have enough knowledge and information, and they will encounter many problems such as unintended pregnancies and abortions.
At this time, how parents face and discipline their children's sexual problems is a very necessary and tricky thing. Fortunately, most 14-year-olds show a stronger sense of responsibility, which is something to be pleased about.
Raising children is a compulsory path for parents, and to understand children better can they better become his life guides.
Source: Junior Business School (ID: youthmba), a leading international quality education platform in China, 380w+ Kochi parents are paying attention, helping children aged 6-16 to discover interests and set goals.