Recently, Ms. Liu, who is over 60 years old, has been a little upset: her granddaughter Xiaoxiao (pseudonym) was brought to kindergarten by her and has always been very obedient and sensible. Some time ago, Ms. Liu sent Xiao Xiao to her grandmother for three months due to physical reasons, and as a result, she was spoiled beyond recognition.
In the past few days, reporters have visited and found out
At present, there are not a few families who choose to take turns with children on both sides
Is this a good situation?
How can I promote the healthy growth of my child?
Grandma spoiled the child
Xiao Xiao has been following Ms. Liu since birth and just entered kindergarten in 2021. Unfortunately, a few days after the start of the school, Ms. Liu suddenly had a stomachache, and after being sent to the hospital, the doctor immediately arranged the operation, and then told her that she needed to rest at home for three months. During Ms. Liu's surgery, the little grandmother took the little one over, and still sent kindergarten during the day and was taken care of by the grandmother at night.
Three months later, Ms. Liu felt she was fine
I really want to be small
Just quickly pick up the little one back
After picking it up, Ms. Liu found that Xiao Tian had a lot of bad problems.
A few days ago, the kindergarten teacher reflected to Ms. Liu that Xiaoxiao had recently grabbed toys with children and did not sleep well at noon. It turned out that she would not be like this, knew that toys had to be shared, and had always had the habit of taking naps since birth. Not only that, compared to school, Xiao Xiao's performance at home made Ms. Liu a little annoyed.
"I used to eat with my own spoon, but now I have to not only feed it, but I have to chase it, or eat it while watching cartoons." Fruits and vegetables do not like to eat, they love to eat meat, especially braised meat. Originally drank boiled water and drank well, but when I came back, I didn't drink it without putting some sugar. ”
The more Ms. Liu spoke, the more angry she became.
Once took Xiao Xiao to the mall to play, when passing by the drink shop, Xiao Xiao did not leave, clamoring for Ms. Liu to buy milk tea for her, Ms. Liu did not buy, Xiao Xiao at the door and rolled up. "It turns out that the little one is not like this." Speaking of this, Ms. Liu seemed a little irritable, "I worked hard for 3 years, and her grandmother only took 3 months, and she broke all the rules I originally set for my children." ”
The child became less talkative
Speaking of letting the elderly on both sides take turns with the children
As a father, Xiao Li still regrets it to this day
Xiao Li's daughter is 10 years old this year, usually reticent, and looks much more mature than her peers. Xiao Li said that this has a lot to do with the fact that she grew up living in turn with her grandparents' house and her grandparents' house.
When Xiao Li's daughter had just turned two years old, Xiao Li consulted with his wife: the elderly on both sides took turns to take the children every week.
The reason is simple, to meet the emotional needs of the elderly on both sides. Xiao Li and his wife are only children, and the elderly on both sides want to take the child when the daughter is born, and they all hope that the child can kiss him when he grows up. Grandpa and grandma family atmosphere is more relaxed, often buy children like books and toys, young daughters every time after going to grandma's house will happily say non-stop, grandma is a little unhappy, "Your surname is Li, you want to kiss your grandparents, you know?" After a few times, the daughter learned to look at her grandmother's face and did not want to go to her grandmother's house again. But Xiao Li and his wife, who were still unaware at the time, continued to run with their daughters and families. As a result, less than a year later, the couple found that the originally lively daughter was less and less like to talk...
"At that time, because I was busy with my career, I didn't even think about my children's feelings!"
Xiao Li shook his head helplessly
Different parenting concepts should be communicated in a timely manner
In reality, due to the actual situation or the requirements of the elderly on both sides, many families will take turns to bring a baby. Xiaosun, a national second-level psychological counselor, analyzed in an interview with reporters that from the perspective of social reality, this phenomenon has its rationality, which can reduce the burden of the elderly in physical strength and energy, and also has certain positive significance for improving the adaptability of children. However, if the elderly on both sides take turns to take the child, the living habits, concepts and educational concepts of the two sides are not the same, it may cause the child to be confused, which is not conducive to the growth and development of the child. At the same time, the elderly also have to often change their living conditions, for some elderly people, there may be certain adaptation difficulties, affecting the psychological state of the elderly.
Xiaosun said that if the elderly on both sides take turns to take the children, they should fully consider the conditions and living environment of the elderly themselves.
In the process of raising children, parents should play a leading role as much as possible, try to accompany children, and the elderly will assist. If the concept of raising children is different, they should communicate and coordinate in a timely manner to promote the healthy growth of children's physical and mental health.
Shishi Rong Media Center reporter Liu Xiaojuan
Editor: Shishi Rong Media Center
