How to face the pain of white-haired people sending black-haired people?

A netizen asked: "My daughter can't think of suicide, what should I do?"

My daughter is nineteen years old and has been actively treated after suffering from depression, but she is still gone, how do I spend the rest of my life? ”

There are two similar replies in the comments section of my article, memorable.

One mother said her son, who left the day before the exam this year, left her forever.

Another mother said that parents who envy our mentally ill children still have the opportunity to discuss how to accompany and save their children. And she didn't have a chance. She also asked me, do you know where the exclusive group is lost? I hope to warm up with people with the same pain, encourage and help each other, and survive this tear-jerking life.

Yes, as a parent of a child with mental illness, this problem is not as confident and calm as the parents of normal children. The consideration of life and death appears in a family like ours with unusually high frequency, as if discussing the weather. Seeing similar reports on the Internet, it is even more frightening and panicked, especially with a sense of substitution.

A few days ago, I saw a video that made me feel shocked and scared out of a cold sweat.

The video shows a 45-year-old schizophrenic mom whose depressed daughter was born a few years ago. When her daughter expressed her thoughts of taking her own life to her, she angrily said that she would not stop her. That night her daughter was gone. Later, the remorseful mother became schizophrenic.

My daughter had three marked ZS behaviors, the first time before she was under fourteen. But at that time, my mentality and coping, there was no love, only boredom, and even happy to see it come true. So, I don't discriminate against the dark thoughts of parents who are exhausted by torture. I know all too well the psychology that really exists.

I remember that the previous year, I had a conflict with my daughter over a small matter, and I was addicted to my own negative emotions and could not extricate myself, and I had no intention of taking care of my daughter who collapsed. The daughter sat on a high bay window, hiding behind the curtains and crying for more than an hour. I had no comfort, nor did I say anything too much to irritate her. But it is very clear in my heart that my daughter has the intention of taking her own life. At that time, there was also a relative in the family. She whispered that your daughter is so tormented, this disease is also a bottomless pit, she wants to leave, let her go, it is a relief for everyone. In the state of mind at that time, the words of my relatives made me feel even more aggrieved and angry. So, there's really a "happy idea." So, must maternal love be great? Sometimes, I'm afraid I can't look at it directly.

I remember seeing the curtains suddenly move, I was so frightened that my heart was going to jump out, at that moment, I regretted it, I felt that I couldn't afford to lose, I couldn't gamble. But, in fact, with similar incidents later, it was easy for me to go back to the old pattern.

Later, my daughter told me that she really wanted to die. When she said goodbye to the netizens one by one, the netizens persuaded her.

Therefore, I strongly advocate that parents must first love themselves, live themselves, and live their parents well, so that you have the strength to love your children and maximize the emotions that children can erupt at any time. Otherwise, once the child collapses, parents can easily follow the collapse, breed resentment, lose reason and wisdom, and cause tragedy in life.

Moreover, I set the rules for myself, set the direction of my efforts, and only said good things. Don't think about it, let alone say it. I was so angry that I silently scolded ten times in my heart, and I didn't say it. There is a difference between the perception of some things, when impulsive, and when calm. Therefore, let yourself change your mind, cool down, and then deal with it, the effect will be more ideal.

However, the affairs of the world are divided into their own affairs, other people's affairs, and god's affairs.

If even if you do your best to give your child unconditional love even if you are treated regularly, the child and God still decide to take that road of no return? And how to face the pain of the heart and lungs?

You must always prepare for the worst and do your best to reduce anxiety and move forward lightly.

Well, after crying, accept and let go. Bless the child to finally get rid of the pain and torment and go to a happy paradise without a big black dog. I wish that the child will finally master the high-tech of reincarnation in the next life, find parents with a good family, gentle love, wisdom and wisdom, and have a beautiful and happy future life. Make up for the lack of happiness in this life.

And parents, live the rest of your life for yourself. Spend an hour a day thinking about and remembering the fate of mother and son. There must be some time and space for sadness and pain to vent.

Retirement salary is enough to live in a health care apartment in Hainan, Yunnan and other places, enjoy your favorite scenery every day, read your favorite books, do your favorite things, relax and be happy, live a vigorous, interesting, and running life, and live the best way in life. Good or not happy, good not happy!

The rest of your life is expensive, don't waste it. A game and a dream, it is better to make the game more exciting, let the dream be better!