Wen | Cheats Jun
Dear mothers, how many children do you have in your family? Is it a boy or a girl?
Now as soon as the three-child policy came out, the busy people who wanted to give birth did not want to prepare for pregnancy, and they did not want to give birth to a cold eye, and the entangled began to hesitate again.
But different families, the reasons for the entanglement are different.
There are obstacles to family conditions, but also hinder the child's gender entanglement.
For example, the first child is a son, the second child is still a son, and the third child wants to fight for a daughter.
Of course, there are also three children, but after birth, it is a little embarrassing to find that all three children are sons.
Unlike the previous preference for sons and daughters, now when "sons" are mentioned, everyone's views are very subtle.
A mother said on the Internet that she only gave birth to two children, but the first child is the eldest, the second child is a twin son, and the whole family is quite sensational in the community. Pushing the baby out for a walk, if the boss is also around, others will often ask the two twins first, "Boy or girl?" After knowing that the two little ones were boys, I looked at the boss who was also a boy, and the expression on his face was intriguing.
In fact, not only others will have such a reaction, even Bao Ma.
The mother said that she was once sad and depressed, but now she came out.
Why is this mom upset and depressed? In fact, the root cause is that I have three children, and they are all sons.
◆ Having a son has become synonymous with family pressure
I don't know when it began, our fertility preferences quietly changed, from "the best are sons" to "it is good to have a son", and even some families have a clear attitude: the family has two children, a son and a daughter is the ideal combination, if not, two daughters are also very good, afraid that both children are boys.
Some families originally did not say anything about the second child, but the first child immediately braked after giving birth to a son. Why? Afraid of the second child or son.
Why are modern parents starting to favor sons over men? It's because there's too much pressure to raise boys these days. And the stressful stage is not the child's childhood and school age, but more after the child graduates from work and starts a family.
According to the current social trend, the daughter gets married, and the parents send some dowry. Some parents with hearts and strength will buy their daughters a pre-marital house, or the dowry will be given as much as the bride price. But none of this is necessary. It's the icing on the cake to be able to do it, and it doesn't matter if you can't do it. After all, everyone's eyes are fixed on the man's family.
But if the parents have a son in the family and the son wants to get married, the cost is big. The bride price is a mountain, the marriage room is a mountain, and the seat is a mountain. In some places, the wedding dowry is as high as 200,000 or 300,000, which is equivalent to the work income of parents for half a lifetime, and after paying the dowry, they also have to make up money to help their sons pay the down payment for a house, and save a small nest for small couples.
This is still the difficulty of getting married. After the son becomes a family and has a baby, as the child's grandparents, he still has the unshirkable "responsibility" of taking the baby.
For the sake of their son's marriage considerations, parents take advantage of their youth to save money and put most of their life's savings into it to help their son start a family. When grandchildren are born, they are also responsible for bringing them up. A lifetime of toiling and toiling is all for the sake of the son.
If one son is still like this, the parents of the two sons will have to tighten their belts and work hard, and if it is three sons, it will simply squeeze the parents. No wonder others look at it with sympathy.
Of course, no one can guarantee what the trend of marriage will be twenty years later, whether the house will still be a must-have, and whether the children will have to be brought with the help of the elderly. It's just that this trend is now, and young parents can't help but tremble when compared to their old age.
【Topic Discussion: Is your child a son or a daughter? Have you considered how they grew up and started a family? 】
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
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