As a parent of a 6-year-old boy; as a reading enthusiast who has read nearly 100 parenting books and thousands of children's picture books; as a family educator with a primary school language teacher qualification certificate and a little understanding of children's education; I think a competitive child must have the following habits and abilities:
01. Good reading habits and ability
There is a house of gold in the book, and there is a beautiful jade in the book.
Since cute people were born, I have paid special attention to cultivating parent-child reading.
From about 8 months ago, I began to accompany him to parent-child reading every day, and bought a lot of cave books, pop-up books, film books and cloth books for children to play and touch.
Starting from about the age of 1 and a half, it mainly introduces some children's books such as natural science popularization, life cognition, and behavior habits, so that children can understand some common animals and plants through reading, understand the etiquette of getting along with others, and know how to take care of and protect their own bodies.
After the age of 3, some picture books with strong storytelling, popular science and interest are mainly introduced, so that children can find popular science in parent-child picture book reading, and then gradually learn and adapt to independent reading.
In order to make cute more realize the good habit of reading anytime and anywhere, I have stacked some picture books in the master bedroom, the second bedroom, the living room, and every place where he may appear. Creating this effect of looking up and not looking down is mainly to increase the chance that picture books will be "pampered" by children.
In addition, I spend half an hour to an hour with him every night reading picture books, telling stories, and helping Cute to develop a good habit of reading before going to bed. Sometimes I forget to tell him a story, and the little guy will lose his temper and make a fuss with me, "No, you have to finish telling the story and then go to sleep!" ”
After years of cultivating reading habits, Cute Duo also fell in love with picture book reading. Whether it's in bed, in the bathroom, on the subway, or playing outside, I always want to bring a book with me, "I can look at it when I'm bored!" ”
This reminds me of Charlie Munger's proverb of wisdom, a passage from the Poor Charlie's Book.
"As long as I have a book in my hand, I don't feel like a waste of time." Charlie carried a book with him at all times, even if he was sitting in the middle of the economy class, and he was safe as long as he held the book.
Some people praise Charlie as a "walking encyclopedia", knowledgeable and invincible; some people praise Charlie as a talented investor, with a unique vision, and earn everything.
He has a strong curiosity like a child, and has the research qualities and scientific research methods of first-class scientists. Any problem he believes can be fully mastered by self-study using the correct method and can be innovated on the basis of predecessors.
I hope that cute people can also develop a good habit of reading for life like Charlie Munger. Even if you can't achieve career success like Charlie Munger, you can make your spirit rich and rich because of reading.
02. Learn self-discipline and self-improvement
Self-discipline and self-improvement are two habits and abilities that I personally consider very important.
Self-discipline means self-discipline, self-management, learning to manage one's time, behaviors, emotions, and so on.
People who do not know how to self-discipline in life and study often end up suffering big losses.
To give a few small examples from life.
For example, children patronize and watch cartoons, only to see a moment of happiness, and they have watched for a long time without realizing that the homework assigned by the teacher was not completed in time. In the long run, a decline in grades is inevitable.
For example, if the child thinks that sweets are delicious, he keeps eating non-stop, and he does not want to stop until he holds up. In the long run, fat, gastrointestinal problems are inevitable.
For example, children procrastinate every day, even if they are late every day. In the long run, developing a bad habit of not being punctual, entering the workplace or starting a family in the future will only plant a bigger heel.
Therefore, in life, I will clearly ask for cuteness and self-discipline and effective self-management.
Taking watching cartoons as an example, Cute can only watch one episode a day at home and have to apply for it on their own. After watching an episode, I voluntarily closed it, and if I didn't operate as required, I would disqualify my subsequent daily movie.
After setting this rule, Cute was punished twice more often, and he remembered sex for a long time. Now I can basically watch one episode at a time and turn off the iPad on my own.
Formulating clear family rules and firmly enforcing them will help children develop good habits of self-discipline.
Let's talk about self-improvement. "Self-improvement" means having "three hearts", that is, self-motivation, competitiveness and shame.
This "three hearts" is quite important in the child's growth process.
Without this "three hearts", the child will feel indifferent when he fails the test; if he loses the game, he also feels righteous; he is humiliated by other people's words and behaviors, and he also thinks it doesn't matter, the broken jar is broken...
Tell your child that nature's survival rule is "survival of the fittest", and accompany your child to see the cruel and real animal world.
The same is true of the human world. Only by studying hard and constantly improving your survival skills can you become a winner in the future and enjoy a happy life at the top of the pyramid.
03. Learn to self-review and reflect
Failure is the mother of success. This sentence speaks of the importance of review and reflection.
If you don't learn to review and reflect, then you may always fall into the vortex of failure and can't get out, and you will lose again and again.
Only by constantly summing up experience and drawing lessons from defeat can it be possible for the Jedi to fight back and turn defeat into victory.
Cute duo has been learning Go, from the beginner class to the advanced class only spent nearly a year of hard work, the promotion is relatively fast. However, it has recently encountered bottlenecks and frequently suffered defeats. This made him a little decadent and disappointed, and also developed some rebellious psychology towards playing chess.
I asked about the current situation of the child to consult the teacher Liu, she sent me a part of the video of the instruction of chess, but also attached a paragraph, "Let him see for himself, review his own chess, if there is another chance to go, where will the problem be?" ”
This coincides with our original concept of supporting children to learn Go. Learning chess is to exercise children's thinking ability, and the second is to let children learn to summarize and reflect, and find their own problems.
This is a kind of habit cultivation, but also a kind of ability training, which will be of great benefit to future learning and work.
04. Learn to live on your own
Learning to live on your own is a very important ability.
It is said that children who can do housework will be particularly self-disciplined in their studies, their sense of family responsibility will be stronger, and their possibility of achieving greater careers in the future will be higher.
I didn't think about it for so long, I just hoped that Cute would learn to live and take care of himself in the fun, and when he went to society independently in the future, he could take better care of himself.
At present, he has learned to wipe the table, wash dishes, mop the floor, peel beans, tidy up the bookshelves, organize toys, dress and wear shoes by himself, fold clothes, hang clothes, make pizza, make biscuits, make dumplings, wrap roast wheat and a series of other chores.
Cute is more in making pizza
For young children, housework is not a burden, but represents play, fun and achievement.
To be honest, at the beginning, cute and more contact with housework was what he took the initiative to ask for.
"Mom, can you let me try it?" "Mom, I want to play this too." "Mom, this looks so much fun, let me play with it."
At the end of each experience, I still have no end to it, "Mom, next time I will play this." ”
In the process of learning and experiencing, the child feels the huge energy contained in his body, "Mom, now I am as good as you, I will do XX." ”
After doing more, children naturally learn to slowly take on part of the housework at home, such as throwing garbage, sweeping the floor, wiping the table, and learning to understand and understand the hardships of parents.
05. Have empathy and empathize
Empathy is important for children to build and maintain social relationships.
Children with empathy are often considered kind, lovely, united, and more popular; children without empathy are often considered cold, withdrawn, heartless, and often rejected by their peers.
Therefore, whether it is in the family, or on campus, or in the future into the workplace, people with empathy and empathy are often more popular.
So, how to cultivate children's ability to learn to think differently?
1. Read the story
There is no child in this world who does not like to listen to stories and does not love to read stories.
Stories have magical powers that are irresistible.
Telling stories to children and reading stories with children is the best way to shape their ideological character, and it is also the simplest, most economical and effective way of family education.
Illustration from "To the Crying Sister"
For example, "Written to the Crying Sister" tells the "difficult situation" of the brother after the birth of the younger sister. A handwritten letter from the brother recorded all the love and hatred of the brother for his sister. Crooked fonts, exaggerated and interesting illustrations, let the children understand the difficulty of being a brother in laughter, and know how to understand their brothers better.
For example, when "Hilda the Adventurer" tells that the invisible man came to Hilda's house to wreak havoc, we would be very angry, thinking that this group of invisible people was too unreasonable, too bad, and we had to use this disgraceful means to force Hilda to move immediately! However, when Hilda shrinks and sees that her big feet have indeed broken the homes of many elves and displaced them, we will feel that the elves are justifiable.
We can empathize with other people's situations, which is called empathy.
2. Simulate the scenario
When the child loses his temper, he will yell and kick and beat. This will make us feel very annoyed, feel that the child is unreasonable, unreasonable and unreasonable.
Or maybe you're doing things so intently that your child suddenly crawls on top of you and wraps his arms around your neck or hits you in the back with a fist that will give you a headache.
So, how do you deal with these scenarios? I have several ways:
A. Tell the child that you want me to play with, no problem. But I have to wait until I'm done with what I'm doing.
B. Clarify the specific play time.
C. Clarify the consequences. You continue to make trouble, my working hours are extended, and the time to play with you will be postponed, which may eventually make everyone unhappy.
So how to let the child experience this kind of disturbing, very unpleasant feeling?
Once, when Cute Duo was concentrating on playing with toys, I also deliberately harassed him so that he could not continue to play happily. Then tell him that's how I felt at the time.
Of course, this method is not recommended for frequent use. Because protecting your child's concentration is quite important.
The above is my parenting experience sharing, I hope to help you.