Text/Wei Chen
Recently, the weather has turned cold, and many people have been caught off guard by the flu. I have a friend who works out all year round, and it's just that after he fell ill, he heard some questioning voices that made him cry and laugh.
He said that during the few days of the cold, people around him often asked, "Don't you always work out, how can you still be infected by the flu?" "It's useless to be fit." "Definitely not exercising..." and so on.
In fact, similar scenes in life often appear. People often question the people around you and say, "Aren't you very emotionally intelligent, how can you still lose your temper?" "It's useless to read, the education is so high, it's still tantrums." "You see that you have such a big temper, or you are not cultivated enough." Wait a minute.
It seems that tantrums are a very bad thing, but in fact, normal personality is inseparable from any kind of mood and sorrow.
Anger is a form of self-preservation, and if a person suppresses inner anger for a long time, it will lead to psychological problems over time.
High emotional intelligence is not about not losing your temper, but being able to control your temper very well.
There are too many "smiling depression" patients in life who pretend to be happy under pressure. Liking to be angry is not necessarily its own reason, it is likely that there is something wrong with the environment.
Our generation, from childhood to adulthood, has been taught that what goes wrong in life, we must first find the reasons from ourselves.
As a result, many children constantly find problems from themselves, and sometimes even nitpick, just to blame themselves.
The ancients are cloudy, people are not sages, and no one can be blameless. There is never a perfect person in this world, and if something goes wrong in your life, if you have a conflict with someone else, remember that it must be not just you alone.
We should live in harmony, but there is no need to whisper for the sake of superficial harmony.
If you have never learned since childhood, or have never been allowed to express anger, then it is easy to have anger transfer when you grow up, and it is a very bad thing to vent your emotions in a way that hurts you.
Some people, the reason why "life is very happy during the day, not worth it at night" is mostly due to suppressing their anger.
If you have to force yourself to put on the sugar coating of "self-control" or "high cultivation", you are hurting yourself fiercely. We can have high emotional intelligence, but we can't control anger without dead ends.
Respect your emotions and understand your anger no matter what. In life, it is very important to know how to be angry.
You must understand that the formation of many misfortunes in life is often a lack of the ability to turn the other cheek.
The Three Character Sutra says, "At the beginning of man, nature is good. "And in fact, human nature is not as good as we think, there are always some people in life who are more good to him, the more unscrupulous he is."
As a person, you must not blindly compromise and give in, fight when you should fight, and turn your face when you should turn your face. Playing the role of an old good man for many years, over time will live your life into a nest.
There is a line in the movie "The Godfather" that says: "Softness without boundaries will only make the other party inch; unprincipled benevolence will only let the other party do whatever it wants." ”
If your kindness has no bottom line, then in the end it will not only make the other person habitual, but also bring inexhaustible problems to your life.
The most important thing for people to do in this life is to be kind to themselves, if there is such a person, you feel uncomfortable, even annoying. Then please express it boldly, you do not have to aggrieved yourself, humble and perfect is often not perfect.
Life is really expensive, there is not so much time to waste, kindness must have a ruler, tolerance must have a degree, not all things can endure for a while, take a step back from the sea and the sky.
When you are decisive, you will bring sunny days to your life that is experiencing a storm.
As the saying goes, a man is good and is deceived, and a horse is ridden. Kindness without principle often brings not praise, but worsening harm.
There are too many phenomena in this world that bully the soft and fear the hard, and honest people always do the most things and suffer the most injustices.
People with the "good old man" hat always hold the attitude that more is better than less, preferring to suffer losses rather than go around, for fear of making the relationship very stiff.
In fact, silence will not only not eliminate bad things, but will help the other party to make the other party more rampant.
Please speak up bravely and don't suppress your anger too much. The sea of people is vast, no one owes anyone, you respect me a foot, I respect you a foot, this is what equality should look like.
Although we are not aggressive, we should not be too "afraid of people". When it's time to turn your face, you really don't have to aggrieved yourself and let life be depressed.
Everyone wants to be treated fairly, so your kindness must be given to the right people, facing those who are unreasonable and have no bottom line, and don't have to waste your kindness.
Anything will pass. Dogs, can not be fed too full; people, can not be taken care of too well.
Express your anger at the right time and bravely say "no". Often, rejection can elevate one's own prestige.
After all, from ancient times to the present, things are rare and precious, and anything that is overflowing will not be valued and cherished. The same is true of your empathy.
While we learn not to bother others as much as possible, we must also learn how to reject the problems that others have given us.
Turning the other cheek is like arguing, and if you want things to be done beautifully, you have to be crisp.
The basis of maintaining a good relationship between people is sincerity. Neither rejecting nor denying the other person has to be a corner, just be sincere.
Content source public number: Wei Chen [ID: weichenip]
About author: Wei Chen, freelance writer. He loves literature and has a certain understanding of poetry and literary works.
I hope that through words to bring you spiritual relaxation, may your life be more beautiful after encountering my words.