Hello everyone, I'm Lemon Mom!
What do you do when your child loses his temper?
Most parents do it to reason with their children: you can't lose your temper, and it's not right to lose your temper.
Even some parents are more rude, if the child loses his temper, he will start to beat the child, thinking that if he hits the child a few more times, he will not dare to lose his temper.
However, parents may overlook the point that children are also people, people have emotions, temper, if you blindly prevent children from losing their temper, it may eventually lead to children's personality loss.
What is the harm in not letting the child lose his temper?
Once, when I came home from work, I saw a small figure in the angle of the stairs, and accompanied by a low cry, Lemon Mom fixed her mind on the fact that it was a 7-year-old boy from the neighbor's house, sitting alone on the stairwell crying.
Lemon Mom thought to herself, it is estimated that the little guy has been taught by his parents again. Sure enough, the little boy wanted to buy a beloved toy, but the mother did not give, the little boy made a fuss, and the result was that the mother said very seriously: I don't want to see you lose your temper, don't make me angry, wait for your father to come back to see how to clean you up.
Hearing this, the little boy suddenly did not dare to speak out, and could only forcibly suppress his emotions.
Looking at the sad neighbor boy, Lemon Mom could only sigh. Obviously, this way of education by neighbors has led to great problems in the child's personality.
In the face of the boy's appeal, the wrong practice of the parents will make the boy dare not express his thoughts in the future, feel that he does not have enough good things, think that it is wrong to make a request, he has no right to vent his emotions, and what unhappy things cannot be said, and can only bear it silently.
How can a 7-year-old child bear it? Adults can't do it yet, let alone a child? This kind of education can only teach a child with low self-esteem and depression.
Never deprive the child of the right to lose his temper, and in the face of the child's tantrums, it is better to guide the emotion than to be reasonable.
When children lose their temper, parents with high emotional intelligence do three things:
1. Allow your child to vent their emotions.
There are emotions in the heart, you can vent, but find the right way to vent.
Lemon mom knows a Zhou sister, her method of educating children is really praiseworthy, in the face of children often lose their temper, Zhou Jie dealt with it very well.
For example, Sister Zhou will draw a "venting corner" at home, when the child has emotions and wants to lose her temper, Sister Zhou will take the child to the "venting corner", so that the child can vent freely, such as shouting and shouting in the venting corner to discharge the unhappy emotions.
When the child has calmed down, have a good talk with the child.
2. Children must be told that tantrums come at a price.
Tantrums are okay, but if you lose your temper, destroy objects, or throw tantrums at people, let your child know that his temper is very expensive.
Once Sister Zhou's child lost her temper and broke the screen of Sister Zhou's mobile phone, Sister Zhou took the child to repair the mobile phone, and then told the child that because he broke the mobile phone, this temper is very expensive, so it is necessary to deduct money.
Sister Zhou will give the child some pocket money every month, but if the child breaks bad things when he loses his temper, or loses his temper with others, he will deduct a part of the "temper fee" in the pocket money.
After this time, when the child loses his temper, he will consider that he cannot lose his temper with people and destroy things, otherwise the temper will be very expensive.
The purpose of this is to let the child send out the tantrum, but to minimize the cost of the tantrum.
3. Give your child a substitute that plays a role in regulating and soothing emotions.
Sister Zhou said that every time the child is angry, she will hand the child a small throw pillow, and when the child holds the pillow, the emotion is not so excited.
A small pillow can play a role in soothing the child's emotions, if the child is still unable to control the emotions, and then take the child to the "venting corner", let the child roar a few times, and the temper will be more than half.
I have to say that Sister Zhou is really a parenting master, but also a mother with high emotional intelligence, always able to deal with the problem of "children throwing tantrums" well, I think Sister Zhou's method is worth learning from every parent.
In the face of children's tantrums, cry at every turn, do not blindly reason, do not rudely stop, to allow children to vent their emotions, so that children can grow into a person who is full of sunshine and positive energy.
May every child meet parents with high emotional intelligence!