Text/Coriander
At the beginning of a marriage, two people must be in love to walk together. Especially women, for men who enter marriage with themselves, they will fully entrust their bodies and minds.
This is a common problem for many women. I feel that as long as I get married, men are the center of my life, and everything will be important to men. In fact, this is also understandable. After all, the Chinese tradition still exists.
If so, why is the divorce rate getting higher and higher now? The concept of "convergence is gathering, and if it is not together, it is scattered" also exists more and more among the young generation of men and women.
This also shows that in the marriage relationship, women are no longer overly dependent on men and have their own independent personality.
Among the grounds for divorce, "emotional discord" is one of the biggest phenomena. But is it really emotional discord? This is just a reason to take it out, or to put it this way, to give the other party some face.
In fact, a significant part of the reason for many divorce factors is that men have people out there. A woman can't keep a man's heart, nor can she keep his body, which will choose divorce.
However, such a divorce is not entirely the fault of the man. I have always believed that the failure of marriage, both men and women are wrong, but some people are more wrong, some people are less wrong.
It's like a man out there having someone out there, and saying that women are not wrong, it's not all right. Of course, men are extroverted, and he will always find excuses for his behavior, such as a bad relationship between husband and wife, such as a strong wife, such as a wife who will only rely on herself, such as a wife getting uglier and so on.
Excuses are always there. But as a woman, if you think about it calmly, you can also get to know yourself better. In fact, there are thousands of women in the world, and each woman's personality is different.
Not just men, some women will be completely different two people before and after marriage. So many times, the failure of marriage, women also have to bear a certain responsibility.
Let's take a look at the changes that most women change before and after marriage.
For example, in terms of dressing. Before marriage, women will dress up beautifully when they see men, but after marriage, they will only become more and more sloppy. Why? It is to feel that two people are married, in front of him, no longer have to dress, just dress comfortably.
Some women even go to the street to buy groceries in their pajamas, and some wear pajamas to send their children to school. I've seen it all with my own eyes. As a woman, every time I see such a woman, I will also look at it more, and I will have helpless feelings in my heart.
It is said that women "three points of true color, seven points of dress". As you get older, the less you pay attention to dressing, and you may not even have three points.
In fact, it is not that you must wear makeup or wear new clothes or something, but neat and decent, what occasion to wear the corresponding clothes, should be the most basic requirements. If you can't even do this, how can women ask men to keep you fresh? This is also one of the reasons why men begin to dislike their wives.
Some people say that women, for men, in fact, as long as they do a little, they can retain men's hearts, that is, "if you leave".
If you are far away, as if you are close, and if you seem to leave, it actually means that you can maintain a certain distance between people and people. I don't think it's unreasonable.
But this is something that many women can't do. Because, they will think that since they are married, two people have become physically and mentally united, and it may be more appropriate to say that they are intimate.
Indeed, most couples are like this, especially when they are newly married, they will feel extremely loving and intimate. But over time, too familiar, present everything to the man, the man does not even have to look, he can know what you want to do.
In this way, for men, it is only a matter of time before they are extroverted. What a man lacks is often just opportunities, not how dedicated he really is.
Or, if it is more abstract, then put it another way, keep the woman's own independence. With that said, you might understand better.
Yes, women actually just have to do that, and that's enough. Whether it is economically or personally, maintaining their independence is the most support for women to make themselves invincible.
If from the beginning of marriage, women can maintain their independence and do not give 100% of their body and mind, for men, they may be more interested in slowly developing.
The more independent a woman is, the more respectful the man is. Because, when a woman is independent, she does not have to report everything to him, and she can have the right to autonomy.
For example, you can freely go shopping with your girlfriends, you can have your own independent career, and you can have your own space to be alone. In these respects, you don't need to report to a man, you don't need to get a man's approval.
The less dependent a woman is on men, the more men will care in turn. Because, he will feel that without him, you can live well. Without him, you can also find other good men.
Men are always like this, the more things he can't get, the more he will invest his time and energy to care and cherish.
But independence does not mean strength. If a woman is "too" independent, it will also make the man feel like you don't need him and make him lose his sense of presence. If you are separated, this is also the reason, in fact, this is a manifestation of women's wisdom. Not too strong, but also able to maintain independence; both independent and appropriately dependent on men, which is the temptation for men to be addictive.
Looking at the reasons for those divorces, even if the man has someone outside, it is generally because of the woman's reasons in his own family, such as the sloppiness of the woman mentioned earlier; such as relying on him too much to make him feel that you can't do without him anyway; for example, the woman is too strong, so that he can't find the man's self-esteem and so on.
Therefore, there is a reason for the failure of any marriage, and the happiness of any marriage also has a secret. It's just that in marriage, women have their own wisdom and wisdom, and whether they have the ability to be independent and controlled.