A couple was driving on a honeymoon trip, only to have the engine of the car suddenly stalled halfway through

1

Going on a blind date, the girl asked me, "Do you give up your seat on the bus?" ”

I smiled and said, "I don't take the bus, I have a car." ”

The girl asked again, "Then how much does the house you rent cost for a month?" ”

I was a little angry: "What? Am I like a renter? ”

The girl was immediately very enthusiastic about me, but she seemed a little upset when I rode my bike to the bridge hole where I lived after dinner.

2

Di Si invited the beautiful woman to eat hot pot, and the beauty ordered a large table of lamb rolls, beef rolls, hairy belly, hundred pages... After eating, the hanging wire wanted to send the beautiful woman home, and the beautiful woman blushed and said: "If you take me directly to open the room after eating, I will inevitably refuse, but I did not expect that you are a decent gentleman, so I am willing to open a room with you..."

After saying that, he looked at the hanging wire with a burning look, the hanging wire was not moved, firmly stopped a car, sent the beautiful woman to the car, watched the beautiful woman's mournful eyes gradually disappear with the car, di si pinched the 5 yuan in her pocket and sobbed in the night wind: "You can die if you don't eat so much?" The money to open the house will make you eat up! ”

3

One day my daughter-in-law and I passed by the lottery station, and my daughter-in-law and I said, "Go in and scrape a few scraping pieces." ”

She said, "Okay. ”

I bought 4 pieces of 5 pieces, the first three pieces were not in the middle, and the daughter-in-law shouted next to her: "Middle, middle." ”

Then I really won 50, and the big brother of the lottery station said: "Your daughter-in-law's mouth is really good, and she will hit it when she shouts." ”

I said, "That's it, when I married her, I just saw this mouth kung fu good." One day my daughter-in-law and I passed by the lottery station, and my daughter-in-law and I said, "Go in and scrape a few scraping pieces." ”

I said, "That's it, when I married her, I just saw this mouth kung fu good." ”

4

A couple drove to the honeymoon trip, but the engine of the car suddenly stopped halfway through, and the husband repaired it for half a day, but the car still did not move.

Seeing that her husband was sweating profusely, her wife comforted her: "There is a hotel not far in front, let's go there for one night, get up tomorrow morning, the car will be fine, don't worry." ”

The husband said: "That was before the marriage, this time the car is really broken!" ”

5

After calling out the name of my first love girlfriend a few times in my sleep, my wife pushed me awake and asked alertly, "Who are you shouting?" ”

I was busy covering up: "I dream of being a teacher, asking students to answer questions." ”

The wife asked, "Then why do you always ask the same student to answer the questions in your first lesson?" ”

I was stunned, and then I replied, "Because I'm a governess." ”

6

Lao Zhang: "Lao Wang, what have you been doing lately, you will run home after work, drinking, K songs can't move you, you don't have a wife." ”

Lao Wang: "Neighbor Lao Liu went on a business trip." ”

7

The company's new restricted beauty, during the lunch break, overheard her complaining to other colleagues: the ass is too big, to lose weight! In the spirit of the paragraph, I decisively enlightened her: "Beauty don't worry, butt sits in the world." The beauty winked at me: "Handsome guy can talk, what to call it." "Hello, my name is Li Tianxia.".

8

Friends looked at me awkwardly.

As a confidant, I immediately knew what he wanted to do, and smiled: "What, want to borrow money?" No problem, but you'll have to tell me why! ”

He was embarrassed: "Recently, my girlfriend is a little weak, I want to make up for her!" ”

As soon as I heard it, I immediately took out two thousand dollars and gave it to him!

He asked, "How come it's only two thousand dollars?" ”

I laughed: "Your girlfriend is not angry, but leaky!" Two dollars to find a repair bike to make up for a supplement, enough! ”

9

Second brother: Boss, do you have that kind of medicine?

Pharmacy Owner: What medicine? You say.

Second brother: It's... It is to take a pill that can come several times a night, and each time lasts for more than half an hour...

Pharmacy owner: Oops, what's so embarrassing to say about this, wait, I'll take it for you...

After coming back to eat, sure enough, six times a night, each time for more than half an hour...

The next day,

The second brother angrily went to the pharmacy owner: What kind of medicine did you sell me, let me pull a night thin, the intestines are about to pull out!!

Boss: Aren't you going to buy laxatives...

10

Woman: "Yo, go grocery shopping."

Male: "Yeah, buy some leeks and eat dumplings." ”

F: "Oh, what a great man!" ”

Then he said to his son, "Your child is also too ignorant, and he doesn't say hello when he sees his uncle!" ”

Child: "Uncle, eat leeks well, eat leeks aphrodisiac!" ”

Don't think every day that tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will not be better, because you are thinking about tomorrow tomorrow every day