The final outcome of the peacock's southeast flight, Jiao Zhongqing and Liu Lanzhi were both martyred, Jiao Zhongqing's mother and Liu Lanzhi's brother, in the end, should also have remorse, otherwise it is impossible to agree to let the two of them be buried together.
When I read this story when I was a child, I was moved by jiao Zhongqing and Liu Lanzhi's infatuation, and I hated Jiao Zhongqing's mother in my heart and felt that she was the culprit of murder. Now carefully studying this long poem, I found a problem: the tragedy of Jiao Zhongqing's marriage with Liu Lanzhi, the responsibility is not all on Jiao Mu.
Jiao Zhongqing's mother, as a widow, is bound to feel a little bitter in the face of the love and affection of her son and daughter-in-law. However, if Jiao Zhongqing, who is a son, and Liu Lanzhi, who is a daughter-in-law, understands her mother's difficulties, respects her mother-in-law, and is filial piety, in addition to filial piety, more importantly, obedience, obedience to elders, is the minimum etiquette.
Mothers love their sons, wives love their husbands, filial piety to their sons, care for their wives, and love each other in order to win together. Families that could have been happy and happy have ended up with miserable ends that have been regretted for thousands of years, and lessons have been learned from them to avoid similar tragedies.
Below, let's slowly analyze it from three aspects:
Peacock pictures
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="01" > Jiao Zhongqing's mother has a strong personality and hopes that her daughter-in-law will be obedient and obedient</h1>
The Jiao Mu in the story is not a heinous and completely unreasonable evil mother-in-law. Jiao Zhongqing lost his father at an early age, his mother was widowed for many years, and he was raised with hard work, which shows that he is a strong and capable person.
We can imagine that for many years, mother and son have relied on each other for their lives, Jiao Zhongqing's personality is docile, well-behaved and sensible, and Jiao's mother's temper should be one and the same. Strong mothers teach children who are often docile and well-behaved and lack assertiveness. Jiao Zhongqing's handling of the problem is enough to prove one point.
In modern society, it is still difficult for single mothers to raise their children, let alone in feudal societies where male power is supreme. Jiao's mother raised two children alone, and the hardships can be imagined.
The feudal society was hierarchical, and although Jiao Zhongqing was only a petty official, he was still a scholar of the highest rank. Liu Lanzhi, on the other hand, was at the inferior level of merchants. The inequality of family status is bound to cause Jiao's mother to have higher requirements for her daughter-in-law. I hope that she will obey her own words, be meek and well-behaved, and show the majesty of her parents.
Therefore, the powerful Jiao Mu needs a gentle and understanding daughter-in-law to neutralize her strength. After Liu Lanzhi, who had outstanding ability, married into Jiaofu, he worked hard to weave cloth every day, and he could weave five pieces of cloth in three days, which was very efficient. But Jiao Mu was still not satisfied with her, otherwise Liu Lanzhi would not complain to her husband about her mother-in-law.
Peacock southeast flying allusion
A strong mother-in-law meets a capable and strong daughter-in-law, which is simply a disaster. A family war is brewing in the midst of everyday chores and is on the verge of breaking out.
In Jiao Mu's heart, she thought: Our Jiao family spent so much money to marry you into the door, (this can be seen from Liu Lanzhi's dictation: Jiao Mu has a lot of money) You are high above every day, and you don't even say a nice word, you are excellent, of course I know. If it weren't for your excellence, how could an official eunuch like ours marry such a country?
You are busy weaving cloth every day, capable is capable, but I did not force you, the degree of eating and wearing at home is not bad, everything has the next person to serve, what are you not satisfied? I dared to say bad things about me in front of my son, and I didn't complain to my son first, which is already very face-saving.
There are three filial pieties, and no queen is greater. You have been married into Jiaofu for so many years, you have not given birth to a son and a half daughter, I have not let my son take a concubine, and I have already given you enough face. You weave cloth day and night, five horses of cloth in three days, don't you just want me to praise you for what you can do? You're awesome, but I want to see what you're capable of. Don't you know that the more meaningless things are done, the more annoying they become?
Peacock southeast flying picture
If there are two or three children in the family, use these cloths to make clothes for the children. What can I do now? Is it difficult for our family to open a shop to buy and sell cloth?
Liu Lanzhi let Jiao Mu nest a belly fire. When the son distinguishes himself on behalf of his daughter-in-law and questions himself. The hammer bed was furious and had to leave the daughter-in-law. Jiao's mother, who has a strong personality, heard what her son said: The female line is not biased, why is it not thick?
My daughter-in-law has done nothing wrong, why don't you want to see her? When Jiao Zhongqing said these words, Jiao Mu completely exploded: He Nai Tai District! The woman was rude and acted spontaneously. I have long been angry, and I am free! The owner has a virtuous daughter whose name is Qin Luoshi. The poor body is incomparable, and Amu asks for it. You can quickly dispatch it, send it to Shen Moliu!
Jiao's mother was unable to find a reason to let her son divorce this daughter-in-law, and when she heard her daughter-in-law's complaint, her son, who had always been obedient, dared to confront himself, and made up his mind that he had to leave her, send her back to his mother's house, and never want to see her again.
Jiao Mu, who has a strong personality, will never give in, and it is even more impossible to be pleasant and take the initiative to praise her daughter-in-law, and her personality has promoted the occurrence of this family tragedy.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="02" > Liu Lanzhi has a strong personality, does not know how to bow his head and submit softly, and is not accurate in his positioning</h1>
In most cases, Liu Lanzhi is excellent and capable, and is a victim. Let's take a closer look, is she really not responsible at all?
You see, she complained to her husband like this: thirteen can weave, fourteen learn tailoring. Fifteen bullets, sixteen poetry books. Seventeen is a royal woman, and her heart is always bitter. Between the words, the arrogant attitude is ready to come out. I would weave cloth at the age of thirteen, tailor at the age of fourteen, musical instruments at the age of fifteen, and poetry at the age of sixteen. When I married into your family at the age of seventeen, my heart was miserable every day.
You see, Liu Lanzhi did not really regard himself as a member of the Jiao family, regarded himself as the master of the Jiao family, but complained like an outsider. Her meaning is obvious, I am so excellent and outstanding, when so many people looked up to me, I chose your family, why did your family let me be wronged?
Liu Lanzhi's next words are even more intriguing: Concubines leave empty rooms, and meetings are often rare. Chickens chirp into the weaving, night and night. Five horses were cut off in three days, and the adults were too late. If it is not late for weaving, it is difficult for the king's wife to do it! Concubines cannot be driven, and they leave nothing to do. You can bai gong yao and send them back in time.
She first complained that her husband often did not come home and let herself keep the room empty. Every day I get up early and sleep late to weave cloth, weave five horses in three days, and my mother-in-law is still too slow. This is too slow, it is clear that I am not waiting to see me, your daughter-in-law is too difficult to do! I couldn't stand it anymore, and there was no point in staying. Tell your mother-in-law that you will take me off and send me back to my mother's house.
Such a strong personality, such a blunt complaint, not to mention that in ancient times, even in modern society, family wars will also break out. As the saying goes, don't do not die. Liu Lanzhi was suspended, and she herself could not escape the blame.
Liu Lanzhi's positioning of herself is not accurate. If she looks at the problem from the perspective of her mother-in-law, thinks in a different position, or starts from the overall situation, things will not develop to the point of irreparability.
The empress, who ranked at the head of the harem, was much better than her, and she had to worry about it every day, serving the empress dowager carefully, strengthening the management of concubines, and caring about the emperor's diet and living. As an empress, you will not complain that your husband has neglected herself.
Marriage needs to be run with wisdom and sweat, and Liu Lanzhi is not a little worse. In her subconscious, she is outstanding in appearance and versatile, and she marries into JiaoFu, so that their blessings should be high on herself. She hopes that her excellence will be recognized and praised by her mother-in-law, which is beyond reproach. However, the method is not right, and it is the opposite.
After many years of marriage without a son and a half daughter, she blamed the meeting for the fact that they were often rare. Such a major matter, has always chosen to escape, never had communication with the mother-in-law, husband Jun. In ancient times, it was natural for a man to take a concubine, and Jiao Zhongqing did not remarry for many years, which showed that he had a single-minded feeling. And the strong Jiao Mu endured for many years, which also gave Liu Lanzhi enough face.
Survival of the fittest. If Liu Lanzhi is smart, she should take the initiative to propose to her mother-in-law to take a concubine for her husband, if she has children, she will take care of and raise them, and if she still has no children, she can also calm her mother-in-law's anger and push away her responsibility. There are more daughters-in-law, and the mother-in-law has no time to take care of it, so she will not blame Liu Lanzhi herself.
The mother-in-law is not her own biological mother, but she is the mother-in-law of the husband, and she should never complain about her mother-in-law in front of her husband. Because of the situation, affirming the mother-in-law in front of the husband and making suggestions euphemistically is the right approach. You see, what did Liu Lanzhi do? It is clear that he is threatening his husband and his mother-in-law.
Jiao Mu made up her mind to take a break from Liu Lanzhi, but Liu Lanzhi still did not bow to her mother-in-law. Instead, they dressed up elaborately and demonstrated to their mother-in-law: the chickens were singing and the bride was dressed up in strict makeup. I embroidered the skirt and did everything in all directions. The feet are trampled, and the tortoiseshell light is on the head. The waist is like a stream of silk, and the ears are bright and bright. Fingers such as chopping shallot roots, mouth such as zhu dan. Slim and delicate steps, exquisite and unparalleled.
When I was a child, I was simple and untested by the world, and I once admired Liu Lanzhi's approach. Looking closely now, I am too naïve and Liu Lanzhi is too stubborn. You've been suspended, you're about to leave, what are you going to do when you're dressed up? You stepped out of the gate of Jiaofu, is there still a way out? Can you still live with dignity?
In fact, even the most powerful mother will love her son and tolerate and forgive all mistakes. What Jiao's mother needed was not her son's repeated threats to herself, and she could not divorce his daughter-in-law. What she really wanted was for her daughter-in-law Liu Lanzhi to be soft and ask her. If Liu Lanzhi really went to ask Jiao Mu, Jiao Mu would definitely change her mind.
As a result, the stubborn Liu Lanzhi, without saying a word, dressed up and stood in front of himself, which was clearly a demonstration to Jiao Mu: You have left me, and I am still glorious! No wonder Jiao Mu was furious. When he went to church to worship Amu, Amu was furious.
Liu Lanzhi, who returned to her mother's house, began to miss her husband Again and did not want to remarry. This is very confusing, if you know today, why did you have to do it in the first place? What you want, you must go all out to fight for, if you really can't win, don't leave a trace of remorse. Since we cherish the marriage with Jiao Zhongqing, we must deal with the relationship with Jiao Zhongqing.
As long as Jiao Mu is alive for one day, she is Jiao Zhongqing's closest person, and Liu Lanzhi inevitably has to deal with her every day. When she is suspended, she should put down her body and do her best to save herself, even if she has suffered some grievances and concubinage for her husband.
If you accept the fact that you have been suspended with an iron heart, you will start a new life. After all, the family her brother found for him was no worse than Jiao Zhongqing. Or rather, if she insists on not marrying again, she should push off the marriage and either weave cloth in her mother's house to support herself, or leave the family. Why should he agree to the marriage of others, and then throw himself into the water and commit suicide, innocently harm others without saying, and let his mother live? How does his brother clean up the mess? Such an approach is extremely selfish.
<h1 class="pgc-h-decimal" data-index="03" > Jiao Zhongqing cannot be well reconciled, resulting in an escalation of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law</h1>
The key to the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law since ancient times lies in the middleman, and Jiao Zhongqing is no exception. The daughter-in-law complained to him that she was very hard, but the mother-in-law was still very picky about herself. The first thing he had to do was to soothe his daughter-in-law's emotions, rather than run over and question his mother.
Marrying a daughter-in-law and forgetting her mother made her mother most chill. A wise mother-in-law has always counted down her own sons and will not easily criticize her daughter-in-law. The wise son always blames his wife in front of his mother, and then quietly explains it behind his back.
Although people's psychology is complex and subtle, in the end, it is inseparable from two words: respect. A good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June. After Jiao Zhongqing married his wife, he ignored his mother's feelings and did not say anything, and when he did not understand the origin of the matter, he hastily questioned his mother: My daughter-in-law is so excellent, so hard every day, and she has not made a mistake, why don't you want to see people? Why is it always provocative?
In the face of such a question, don't say the strong Jiao Mu, replaced by any one person will also be angry. Jiao's mother endured for so many years, and did not force her son to take a concubine, which was already very good.
Jiao Zhongqing's maintenance of Liu Lanzhi added fuel to the fire, causing Jiao's mother to have to leave Liu Lanzhi. At this time, if Jiao Zhongqing had feelings for Liu Lanzhi and persuaded her to bow to her mother and admit her mistakes, things would still have all turned around. As a result, he himself ran to his mother and threatened her: Fu Wei Qi Amu. If you send this woman now, you will never take it back.
Jiao's mother looked at it, and the daughter-in-law did not come to confess her mistake and apologize, but actually let her son threaten herself, and she was furious: The boy is fearless, how dare he help the woman! I have lost my grace and righteousness, and I will not agree.
This is troublesome, and Jiao Zhongqing, who has negative emotional intelligence, directly leads to the escalation of family conflicts. We then saw what the gentleman had said to his daughter-in-law when he came out of his mother's room. I will not drive myself away, and I will force my aunt to have a mother. Qing Dan temporarily returned home, and I will report to the government today. Soon when it is returned, it will be welcomed. With this intention, be careful not to disobey my words.
He did not persuade his daughter-in-law to confess her mistake to her mother, and then say a few good words to her mother, so that her mother would be discouraged, and then the family would live a good life. He actually told his daughter-in-law that it was not I who wanted to drive you away, it was my mother who wanted to drive you away. You go home first, and I'll marry you later----
Isn't this to intensify the contradiction and escalate it further? The daughter-in-law's hatred for her mother has added to it, and it is no wonder that Liu Lanzhi will dress up and demonstrate to her mother-in-law: You have divorced me, and I am not afraid.
A couple with negative emotional intelligence, coupled with a strong mother-in-law, this day is really impossible to live. Jiao Zhongqing is simple and naïve, and the contradictions in front of him cannot be resolved, preferring to hope for a more dim future. He never thought that once Liu Lanzhi walked out of this house, he would never have a chance to come back.
Jiao Mu had already taken a fancy to Qin Luoshi, the daughter of the neighbor: there was a virtuous daughter in the east family, who named herself Qin Luoshi. The poor body is incomparable, and Amu asks for it. Jiao's mother wanted her son to marry Qin Luoshi, where could she still tolerate Liu Lanzhi? Liu Lanzhi did not leave Jiaofu, there is still room for turning, once he leaves, it is difficult to harvest water.
Jiao Zhongqing and Liu Lanzhi did not really understand Jiao Mu's heart. Where did she really look at Qin Luoshi? There is no Qin Luoshi, there is wang Luoshi, Liu Luoshi. All she wanted was for her grandson to get on his knees and enjoy the ordinary pleasures of heaven.
In Jiao's mother's heart, she must feel that Jiao Zhongqing and his wife are two confused people, and they can't get along with themselves every day. If you are old every day, can you not see your grandchildren and granddaughters until you die?
The result of no one's refusal to give in is to disperse unhappily. Liu Lanzhi returned to her mother's house, and there was an endless stream of people who proposed relatives. Liu Lanzhi, who had no opinion, actually agreed to other people's proposals against his will.
Jiao Zhongqing was completely flustered at this moment, not knowing what to do? He threatened his daughter-in-law: He Qing had to move high! The rock is square and thick, and can last for a thousand years; the reed is sewn for a while, and it is done overnight. Qing won the victory on that day, and I went to Huangquan alone.
Where he congratulated Liu Lanzhi, he was clearly threatening others: you go to enjoy the glory and wealth, and it is better to die alone. Liu Lanzhi chose to commit suicide by throwing herself into the water, which is directly related to Jiao Zhongqing. If Jiao Zhongqing is really good for her and persuades her to start a new life, Liu Lanzhi may not be unhappy in the future. And the obedient Jiao Zhongqing fulfilled his mother's wish, married Qin Luoshi, and lived a peaceful life, which was also the best ending.
Tragedy inevitably happens. Liu Lanzhi died before Jiao Zhongqing, and Jiao Zhongqing hesitated. He doesn't know what to do? Living conscience is uneasy. Lingered for a long time, hanging on the southeast branch.
In addition to Liu Lanzhi, there is also Jiao Zhongqing. As the pillar of the family, he left his elderly widowed mother and his sister who was not yet a minor, so that his mother could bear the pain of losing her son, and he also had to bear the condemnation of external public opinion. Since then, Jiao Zhongqing's mother has become synonymous with the evil mother-in-law.
This long-standing story has given us a lot of enlightenment: to do things with a win-win attitude, to respect people, to communicate more when things happen, to think twice about everything, and to consider problems from the perspective of the other party.
Summary: The final ending of the peacock southeast flight, Jiao Zhongqing and Liu Lanzhi were both martyred. In this tragedy, the strong Jiao Mother, the strong Liu Lanzhi, jiao Zhongqing, who will not deal with problems and will not coordinate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, all three people are responsible. The person with the greatest responsibility is Jiao Zhongqing.