Once upon a time, there was an ancient text in our middle school Chinese textbook called "Peacock Southeast Flying", which and "Mulan Poem" were collectively called the Lefu Shuangbi in ancient Chinese literature. "Peacocks fly southeast, five miles and one wandering" also becomes a youth memory engraved in the minds of generations of students, together with "chirping and chirping, Mulan is weaving". However, unlike the happy ending of the triumphant return of Mulan and the reunion of the family in "Mulan Poems", the pair of bitter Mandarin ducks who were separated by their mother-in-law in "Peacock Southeast Flying" did not finally get fulfilled, but both left and fought for love with their lives.
Perhaps it is precisely because "Peacock Southeast Flying" is a regrettable story, so it will be more memorable. Once upon a time, the teacher said that this poem indicted the oppression of people by feudal etiquette, and praised the rebellious spirit and romantic love of the male and female protagonists. However, when this poem was born, it was definitely not to oppose feudal etiquette, so from a human point of view, everyone wants the family and everything to be prosperous, so what reason does Jiao Mu have to break up her beloved son and daughter-in-law?
First of all, there is no doubt that Liu Lanzhi is definitely a daughter-in-law who is close to perfection. Thirteen can weave, fourteen learn tailoring, fifteen bullets, sixteen poetry books, seventeen for the monarch. After she returned home, the county commander personally asked her for his son, which showed that Liu Lanzhi's character and talent were outstanding among his peers. Before she left Jiao Zhongqing, she said goodbye to her sister-in-law: "When the bride first came, the sister-in-law began to support the bed. Today I was expelled, and my sister-in-law is as long as I am. Be diligent in raising your grandfather and grandmother, so that you can support yourself. These few words not only expressed their gratitude to the sister-in-law, but also asked her to be filial to her parents, which was very appropriate. It shows that her relationship with her sister-in-law is relatively good, and although she thinks that she is not at fault, she still apologizes to Jiao Mu and does not speak out of resentment, which shows that her emotional intelligence is also very high.
Look at the reason for abandonment given by Jiao Mu: This woman is rude and acts arbitrarily. I have long been angry, and I am free! Translated into the vernacular, it is: This daughter-in-law does not listen to me, I have seen her unhappy for a long time, you don't want to think that I let her go. This is obviously a very unreasonable attitude. She did not specifically point out where Liu Lanzhi did not do well, but said that she was disobedient, I just can't get used to it. In the context of the times at that time, as a well-educated woman, she would not deliberately go against the wishes of her mother-in-law, so this was simply a sin to add.
However, when we look back at this family ethical tragedy, it is undeniable that Jiao Zhongqing, as a son, has some improper behavior in the handling of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. For example, he told his mother about his wife's private complaints and private rooms between husband and wife, and questioned why her mother did not treat her well. Instead of reconciling the contradictions, this intensified the contradictions. If he had a higher emotional intelligence and coaxed both ends to hide, things might not have fallen into an irreparable situation. But on the other hand, in the feudal era of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, the mother-in-law was originally in a strong position, then he can firmly defend his wife, in a sense, is also to achieve a balance, in today's view is not a good husband's performance.
However, Jiao's mother did not treat her daughter-in-law more kindly because of this, but directly ordered her son to divorce his wife. I have to say that the key problem is still in jiaomu. It is not difficult to find from the text that Jiao Zhongqing's family originally had a total of three mothers and sons: Jiao Mu and Jiao Zhongqing brothers and sisters, plus Liu Lanzhi is four people, Jiao Zhongqing's father has not appeared, therefore, it is likely that she was widowed very early and raised Jiao Zhongqing brothers and sisters alone, which makes Jiao Zhongqing have absolute decision-making power over her son's marriage.
Due to the lack of father roles, orphans and widows are prone to a problem: Jiao's mother is likely to have a love complex. Known psychologically as the Iokasta complex, the fetish complex is derived from Greek mythology in which the empress Aeocaste fell unknowingly in love with her son and married him. The love complex refers to the feelings of parents who are overly attached to their children, and this phenomenon is mostly seen in only children or families with old children. But it is more common in families of orphans and widows. After the death of her husband, in order to preserve the honor of ancient women, Jiao Mu did not remarry. At this time, her son is not only her all hope but also her most important emotional sustenance. In the long days of dependence, her son gradually became her dependence. This emotion is not only a mother's affection for her son, but even a part of the projection of her husband's feelings.
Intellectually, of course, she hopes that her son can marry and have children and get the continuation of the bloodline. But emotionally, she is reluctant to "share" her son with others. But Liu Lanzhi is really too beautiful, Jiao Zhongqing is constantly attracted to her, and the feelings between husband and wife are getting closer and closer. At this time, Jiao Mu felt a kind of loss anxiety. She didn't know how to pull away, but reason and morality didn't allow her to admit this thought in her heart, and everyone knew that conjugal love was a good thing. Therefore, she can only show her pickiness and dislike for her daughter-in-law Liu Lanzhi. At this moment, Jiao Zhongqing's vow-like confession to his wife and the accusation against her mother were tantamount to adding fuel to the fire, making her fall into the sense of crisis of marrying her daughter-in-law and forgetting her mother, and did not hesitate to threaten her son to divorce his wife. In fact, she just didn't want her son to be too good to his wife, and Liu Lanzhi was snubbed by her.
In this way, Jiao Mu is also a poor person, but who can blame this? Moral ethics and human nature are often contrary to each other, which is originally a helpless bondage. In contrast, Liu Lanzhi, who did not miss anything but was abandoned for no reason and martyred to death, is even more innocent and more regrettable.