When anyone gets married, they all want to be a hundred years of good union, and they have to have a long time.
If you really can't please each other, to the point of looking at each other and hating each other, then it is better to separate, separate and double, and pursue your own happiness.
Living with such an attitude is not necessarily a tragedy.
"Peacock Southeast Flying" is a tragedy, and the most shocking place of this tragedy is by no means the martyrdom of Jiao Zhongqing and Liu Lanzhi at the end.
Instead, it is clear that the two people have deep feelings, but they are "forced" to separate.
If time can be turned back and Jiao Zhongqing has a chance to choose again, then he will still choose a woman with the same temperament as Liu Lanzhi.
That is to say, another woman with Jiao Mu will completely copy liu Lanzhi's tragedy.
So Jiao Zhongqing, please let go of something like Liu Lanzhi.
Only by marrying a daughter-in-law like Xia Jingui can a mother-in-law like Jiao Mu avoid the tragedy.
One. Restore a real Liu Lanzhi
In fact, whether it is ancient or modern, there are many women like Liu Lanzhi.
Their parents were strictly tutored and of good character.
In such a family environment, it will not cultivate a big lady with arrogance and pampering, but can cultivate a standard lady.
Thirteen can weave, fourteen learn tailoring, fifteen bullets, sixteen poetry books.
(1) This is the process of Liu Lanzhi's family cultivating her, these four poems look simple, and can be carefully analyzed with a huge amount of information.
As a reader, what can you read first?
The first thing that should be filled for Liu Lanzhi is her life before the age of twelve.
What was that little girl doing at that time?
In fact, liu Lanzhi in her little girlhood was already being fully cultivated by skills and upbringing.
Female red needle, these skills related to the ancient women's virtues, are not a day's work, must be cultivated from a few years old.
Otherwise, Liu Lanzhi, a teenager, would never have been able to directly start learning to weave and tailor.
Reading, writing and rhythm, acquiring this knowledge must also be cultivated for many years.
Otherwise, liu Lanzhi, a teenager, would never have been able to start learning empty books directly, let alone read poetry directly.
What Liu Lanzhi received from childhood was bound to be a strict education.
(2) When Liu Lanzhi grows to her teens, weaving and tailoring need to be extremely careful, which can cultivate her insight into life while learning these;
When Liu Lanzhi is a teenager, playing empty baskets and reciting poetry books can cultivate this girl's unique bookish temperament, which will make a girl calm, self-sustaining, and not humble.
And a woman like Liu Lanzhi, what kind of mother-in-law is most suitable to get along with?
A woman like Liu Lanzhi is the most suitable to get along with her mother-in-law who has a good girl's style.
The mother-in-law who has a good girl's style will gracefully show her mother-in-law's status.
Liu Lanzhi, such a well-mannered and respectful daughter-in-law, can just match this elegance;
There are everyone's bridesmaid mother-in-law, at the right time and moderate to let a daughter-in-law who is good at female red make things for herself, and then give her daughter-in-law some advice and show her taste.
And a daughter-in-law like Liu Lanzhi will also be extremely cooperative, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will become increasingly intimate;
There are everyone's beautiful mother-in-law, and the relationship with the daughter-in-law is intimate on the surface, but in fact it is gentle and distant.
And a daughter-in-law like Liu Lanzhi can definitely do it in a measured manner.
In such a situation, a warm family is formed.
Not all men like Liu Lanzhi, who is gentle on the surface, but is actually stubborn and stubborn.
The son born and raised by the mother-in-law of everyone's bridesmaid style will like a woman like Liu Lanzhi;
And another kind of mother-in-law with a strong desire to control, the son born and raised, will also like Liu Lanzhi's gentle perseverance.
For example, Jiao Zhongqing, if you give him another chance to choose, he will still like a gentle and resolute woman.
And this kind of woman will never enter Jiao Zhongqing's family...
Two. Jiao Mu's mother-in-law, but she could not suppress Liu Lanzhi
Why does Jiao Mu not like Liu Lanzhi?
The answer may be simple, just because of a woman like Liu Lanzhi, she can never control it.
In the face of a woman like Liu Lanzhi, Jiao Mu is always nervous and anxious, like blocking a breath, afraid of losing her dignity in front of Liu Lanzhi.
In fact, Liu Lanzhi is not a woman persecuted by feudal society.
A woman like Liu Lanzhi will never learn to be obedient;
A woman like Liu Lanzhi will never learn to be perfect.
Seventeen is a royal woman, and her heart is always bitter. The king is a government official, and he keeps the festival unswervingly,
Liu Lanzhi, a woman with very good expression ability, can use words to express her mood of bitterness and grief to the fullest.
At the same time, she can make her husband feel empathy.
This is not to mention the ancient women, even the modern educated women, very few people can achieve such expressiveness.
This kind of speech, this kind of talk, in the eyes of Jiao Mu's mother-in-law, is already unbearable;
This kind of speech and this kind of talk, in the eyes of a mother-in-law like Jiao Mu, is a daughter-in-law's disregard for her mother-in-law, and it is a daughter-in-law who is provoking a relationship between mother and son of her mother- and-son.
The concubines left empty rooms, and the meetings were often rare. Chickens chirp into the weaving, night and night.
Five horses were cut off in three days, and the adults were too late. If it is not late for weaving, it is difficult for the king's wife to do it!
If you use words, Jiao Mu can never pick out anything that Liu Lanzhi is not.
In Jiao Mu's eyes, Liu Lanzhi's daughter-in-law is soft and hard and does not eat.
She couldn't control it!
And Jiao Mu has a very strong desire to control, so what can she do?
Jiao Mu can use the big hat of feudal moral filial piety;
Jiao's mother can use her position as the head of the family to separate her son and daughter-in-law, and let her daughter-in-law work until late at night every day.
What she wants to achieve is to let her daughter-in-law give her softness;
What she wanted to achieve was for her daughter-in-law to bow her eyebrows in front of her.
All this can only touch soft nails on Liu Lanzhi's body.
Even if it is separated, it will not let Liu Lanzhi compromise;
Giving her daughter-in-law a high workload and letting her work until late at night every day, Liu Lanzhi chose to accept the job.
Once Liu Lanzhi chooses to accept, then the unvirtuous person is only Jiao Mu, the mother-in-law.
Liu Lanzhi's approach made Jiao Mu even more intolerable.
Therefore, in jiaomu's eyes, Liu Lanzhi is not virtuous.
And a woman like Liu Lanzhi will always maintain her self-esteem and elegance:
Concubines cannot be driven, and if they leave nothing to do, they can be sent back in time.
When Liu Lanzhi felt that everything Jiao Mu had done was unbearable, she could not see the humility and cowardice of the ancient woman in her body, and her choice was to directly say goodbye to Jiao Zhongqing.
A woman like Liu Lanzhi will not choose to endure Jiao Mu's humiliation.
A woman like Liu Lanzhi, before breaking up, should also humiliate her mother-in-law JiaoMu gently and gracefully:
In the past, the first yang years. The Xie family came to your door. Serve the Grandfather. Dare to be self-absorbed. Work day and night. Lingling is hard. There is no sin in saying anything. Offerings to the Pawn. Still more expelled. What a word to return. Concubines have embroidered waistbands. The leaf is self-generating. Red Luo Fu Dou Tent. Four-cornered sachet. Box curtain sixty or seventy. Green and green silk rope. Things are different. And so on. People despise things. Not enough to welcome future generations.
In Liu Lanzhi's mouth, as a daughter-in-law, she was diligent and dignified, and cautiously served her mother-in-law, but she still did not get the favor of her mother-in-law;
In Liu Lanzhi's mouth, he gracefully plucked all the pride of his mother-in-law.
She herself is talented and well-behaved;
Her family was rich and plentiful, and her dowry was rich.
People like her, what is not worthy of Jiao Zhongqing' official.
And how can a mother-in-law like Jiao Mu have the qualifications to not treat her daughter-in-law well.
Such a Liu Lanzhi could only throw Jiao Mu's mother-in-law upside down, but she could not fight back half a word.
It can only be said that Liu Lanzhi is not virtuous.
Such a Liu Lanzhi, such a Jiao mother can never be harmonious, or even never get along.
So what should Jiao Zhongqing do if he wants family harmony?
Three. Jiao Zhongqing should marry a domineering daughter-in-law
Is Jiao Zhongqing really a mommy boy?
Don't wrongfully accuse this man, Jiao Zhongqing is more responsible and has more backbone than Jia Baoyu.
Some mothers care too much about their dignity, not to mention their daughters-in-law, even the lives of their own sons.
The child meditates today, and the mother is in the back. Pretend to be a bad plan, don't complain about the ghosts! Life is like a Nanshan stone, the four bodies are healthy and straight!
Jiao Zhongqing, a man, gambled his own life, and could not let his mother respect his daughter-in-law.
So what should Jiao Zhongqing do?
Whether it was Liu Lanzhi or Qin Luoshi, they all asked him to let go, such a woman, no matter who married into his family, the result could only be a tragedy.
In this life, Jiao Zhongqing is only suitable for marrying a domineering woman, and only such a woman can live a harmonious life with Jiao Mu.
If it is Xia Jingui in "Dream of the Red Chamber" who marries into the Jiao family, when Jiao's mother sees this daughter-in-law, her mood will be very peaceful.
Because in Xia Jingui, this woman did not have the kind of arrogance that was born in the Shuxiang Mendi girl.
For a woman like Xia Jingui, Jiao Mu can find a sense of superiority in her.
Compared with the cheesy Xia Jingui, Jiao Mu was the one who was high.
Jiao Mu did not block the breath, the whole mood will relax.
And a woman like Xia Jingui, does she care about harmony with her husband Qinser?
Xia Jingui didn't care!
What Xia Jingui cares about is to become the young grandmother of the family;
What Xia Jingui cared about was the right to be a steward in his hands.
As for the mother-in-law's willingness to tie her son to her side, Xia Jingui could ignore it.
If Jiao Mu let Xia Jingui do housework, Xia Jingui, a woman who was raised by pampering, would not be able to do it at all.
Xia Jingui will choose to let the old mother do it, and he will be angry with his mother-in-law, get up early and go to bed late?
No, it won't.
Such a family, on the contrary, is harmonious.
If Jiao Mu scolded Xia Jingui for not being virtuous, Xia Jingui would immediately return the favor, who let your family ask for relatives to come to my doorstep!
If Jiao's mother told Xia Jingui that she had a crush on the daughter of the Qin family, Xia Jingui would immediately make trouble with everyone, and the Jiao family would stop taking a wife and remarrying.
In this way, the girls of the Qin family could not enter the door, and the reputation of the Jiao family was completely destroyed.
After a few rounds, Jiao Mu will find that this daughter-in-law can't be bothered, but will start to manage her mouth for the sake of her own reputation and dignity!
Xia Jingui is not a delicate person, she will not care about her mother-in-law's thoughts, she will try to find fun for herself.
Eat well, dress well, play well, and have fun, in front of such a daughter-in-law, Jiao Mu can only sigh.
And then what?
Although there is no emotion, Jiao Zhongqing's home is at least harmonious and stable.
Therefore, please ask Jiao Zhongqing to let Liu Lanzhi go, they have love in their hearts, but they can't balance their mother.
Then, this kind of love seems particularly cheap.
Although there is a fate in the end of the world, jiao Zhongqing's love can only be exchanged for harm.
It will tear a woman's heart again and again.
When Jiao Zhongqing can't give his wife a stable and harmonious family, please let it go completely.
When Liu Lanzhi chooses to remarry, don't pretend to be obsessed with coming back, Jiao Zhongqing, you should leave yourself the last dignity.