A psychologist once did such a study: researchers randomly selected some young children in a kindergarten, and conducted a questionnaire survey on the parents of these children, and then tracked and recorded the performance of the selected children in the kindergarten.
The results showed that children from democratic families were polite to people in the kindergarten, had a lively and cheerful personality, liked to use their brains and answer questions, and liked to put forward their own opinions; Children from doting families have poor self-care and self-protection skills, and appear to be more domineering and arbitrary when interacting with other children; Children from authoritarian families are introverted, have a general interest in learning, and have poor self-control.
These studies amply demonstrate how much different family environments affect children. The family environment refers not only to the physical environment, but also to the material living conditions of the family, social status, the relationship between family members, and the sum of the language, behavior and feelings of family members.
Early childhood is the starting point of an individual's life development, and human personality and many psychological qualities are formed during this period. The family is the first environment in the life of young children and plays a vital role in the development of young children. Parents are the child's first teachers, so family and parents are two very important factors in the family environment. It is no exaggeration to say that these two play a decisive role in the psychological development of children.
Different family environments and parenting styles will have different impacts on children, and common family parenting styles and their impact on children are mainly as follows:
1. Democratic families. Parents from such families believe that children are independent beings, they do not belong to anyone, they have the right to be themselves, and adults should allow children to have their own thoughts and behaviors, and to respect them. They encourage and support their children to explore and discuss problems with them.
At the same time, parents in democratic families tend to have good feelings, adults respect the elderly and love children, and are full of compassion. Children in this kind of family life feel happier and more relaxed, they dare to put forward their own ideas, are not afraid of making mistakes, and actively seek help from adults when they encounter difficulties, and have a good parent-child relationship.
2. Doting families. In recent years, due to the increasing number of only children, the family structure and education methods have also undergone great changes, and "coddling" has become a relatively common problem. Some families have only one child, but there are four or even six adults around, and children naturally become the focus and focus of the family. Adults are prone to be too arrogant to their children, and it is not exaggerated to describe it as "afraid of melting in the mouth, and afraid of falling off in the hand".
Children born into such families are often self-centered, thinking that the whole world revolves around him, and are vulnerable to social setbacks. Due to the long period of "clothes to reach out, food to open the mouth", their self-care ability will be relatively poor, easy to form a dependence psychology. In such families, there are also easy differences and conflicts in parenting concepts, which may make children confused or force children to exploit loopholes in order to achieve their own goals.
3. Authoritarian families. This kind of parents' educational concept is relatively backward, pursuing the traditional family education method, they always think that the child is young, do not understand anything, need parents to teach, and strongly require children to listen to themselves. When children resist, they like to accuse and criticize their children, and some parents will also physically punish and scold their children. They do not allow children to disagree, and the biggest requirement for children is obedience.
This type of education was once very popular. Children from such families may appear timid, cowardly, unassertive, cautious, afraid of making mistakes, and lack innovation and risk-taking. It may also be because of the long-term suppression of adults, the heart will accumulate a lot of negative emotions, and when you grow up, you will appear particularly rebellious or have some psychological problems.
4. Laissez-faire family. Such parents do not care much about their children, or even do not care, as the children grow up, they rarely care. Some parents are forced to leave their hometowns to work in other places because they are helpless, and they have no time to take care of their children. Some parents do not attach importance to educating their children, for example, those who soak in the mahjong hall every day and even make a meal for their children on time.
Children need to be taken care of and cared for, if adults ignore children for a long time, children will lack of security in their hearts, and develop inferiority psychology and a lonely character. Parents can't guide their children in time when they have problems, which will make children develop bad habits and cause other harm. Children who are not loved by their parents do not know how to establish emotional connections with others, and they will also have an impact on later social interactions.
No parent does not want their children to become a good person, so let's build a good family environment for their children when they are young. Material conditions are not the only important, the impact of parenting methods on children is immeasurable.
Chen Heqin, a famous educator on the mainland, said: "Family education is first and foremost self-education for parents." Parents should start from themselves, set an example for their children, pay attention to controlling their emotions, maintain a democratic way of education, and dare to let their children try.
In short, in the early stages of children's lives, adults should do their best to create a beneficial family environment for children and lay a solid foundation for the healthy growth and development of children.
This article is original by "Guo Lifang Psychological Studio", welcome to pay attention to, like, comment, the article is not reprinted.
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