The full name of "PUA" is "Pick-up Artist", which originally referred to men's efforts to improve their emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills through certain training and learning, and to communicate with women more smoothly.
However, some men with ulterior motives have mastered PUA skills in order to deceive women and implement mind control, so as to achieve illegal purposes, which has caused many women to be hit hard in their feelings.
We once filmed a video to interpret PUA from the perspective of lucid hypnosis to help girls better identify the PUA technique used by scumbags. To our surprise, this issue of the video on the "Kuaishou" platform, the number of views exceeded 2 million, becoming a blockbuster video! It can be seen how much netizens pay attention to this topic.
Some netizens said that in addition to the marriage and love PUA, there are also parents' family PUA for their children, and bosses' workplace PUA for subordinates, which also make them hate it very much.
Today we will talk about the "family PUA" of parents to their children. We receive a large number of adolescent depression and bipolar disorder patients in the clinic, and many of them have been belittled, criticized, and even beaten and scolded by their parents since childhood, and have suffered a lot of superimposed psychological trauma. This is an important reason why they get sick.
Especially those parents who have excellent resumes and small career achievements, they are more likely to emphasize the authority of parents when educating their children, constantly crack down on their children, and force their children to obey.
Many teenagers and young people hate this kind of parents, and on the B station (Bilibili), which is loved by young people, many UP owners have also taken related videos, and the number of hits is quite high.
The image is a screenshot on the Bilibili platform
There is also the "parents are a scourge" group that once existed on Douban, and a large number of teenagers and young people are very dissatisfied with their parents' simple and rude education methods, and complain in the discussion group.
This was originally a reflection of the true voice of many children, which helped to urge this part of the parents to correct, but later, the content of the group became more and more inclined to pure complaints and vents, becoming a source of contagion of negative emotions, easily misleading teenagers and children. Coupled with the fact that the name of the group is too extreme, calling all parents a "scourge", the Douban platform gradually realized that the existence of this group would do more harm than good, so it hid the network group.
Netizens are completely understandable in this mood, and the psychological harm caused by "family PUA" is indeed very large.
However, the so-called "family PUA" is actually very different from the love PUA and the workplace PUA. Strictly speaking, the vast majority of parents do not have a true PUA for their children's education.
Parents have objectively caused psychological harm to their children, but it cannot be denied that the starting point of most parents is indeed for the good of their children.
For example, some parents often criticize and hit their children, in fact, they do not really think that their children are very bad, but they are worried that praise will make their children proud and complacent;
Some parents beat their children, really worried that their children "can't fight or become a tool", and their character is gradually distorted.
Of course, sometimes parents are really angry, and the scolding they take against their children has a certain element of anger, but this is relatively secondary and rare.
That is to say, the vast majority of parents still hold the original intention and purpose of educating their children, hoping that their children will become adults and achieve happiness. It's just a pity that the wrong method was used, and the good intentions did bad things.
The image comes from the Internet
This is completely different from the love PUA and the workplace PUA. Especially in love PUA, the original intention of "scumbag" and "scumbag" is not to make lovers more excellent, but to satisfy their own selfish desires, personal interests, and even illegal purposes.
To put it simply, they are bad people, but most parents are not. On the contrary, many parents are actually people with a sense of morality, responsibility and justice, and are highly respected in work and society, but the concept and method of family education are indeed very problematic.
Therefore, I hope that teenagers and young people can look at this problem more rationally and objectively, do not blindly resent their parents, and do not be affected by psychoanalysis, thinking that parents are "controlling children", which will strengthen their anger and pain. This is not good for improving our relationship with our parents, nor is it good for our own mental and physical health and happiness in life.
Especially children with mental disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder, they may blindly blame their parents for this, thinking that "it turns out that the reason why I got sick is because of my parents" and blame all the faults on their parents.
In fact, although the formation of common mental and psychological disorders of depression and bipolar disorder is related to the original family, it is also related to the campus, society, and Internet environment. It is hoped that patients will treat it rationally and should not be partial to generalization, otherwise the mood will be more likely to fluctuate and the condition will continue to worsen.
Of course, we are not saying this to excuse this part of the parents. If you want to improve the parent-child relationship and accelerate the recovery of your children, this part of the parents must correct it, and continuously and deeply reflect, change and improve.
The image comes from the Internet
When many children accuse their parents of causing harm to themselves, the parents are very angry and rightly say, "No matter what, I am for your own good!" ”
This sentence is tantamount to adding fuel to the fire, and many children directly reply, "Even if you are for my own good, then if you hurt me, you are not responsible?" Legally manslaughter is also going to jail! ”
Therefore, parents cannot rationalize their own education methods because the starting point is good. If the parents still do not change, not only is the child likely to have depression, bipolar disorder and other mental and psychological disorders, but also may break the parent-child relationship.
When the child grows up and leaves the house, they may not want to go home to visit their parents at all, or even refuse to allow their parents to contact their children, for fear that the parents will continue to PUA grandchildren. Why are children so cold-blooded and ruthless? If parents do not reflect on themselves in time, they may not understand this problem until they die.
Therefore, if parents want to go around the knees of their children and grandchildren in the future and enjoy the joy of old age, then from now on, we must pay attention to adopting scientific family education methods, cultivating intimate parent-child relationships, truly entering the inner world of children, and first allowing children to enjoy the warmth of family affection.