There are no parents in this world who do not love their children, but the different ways parents express love will make it difficult for many children to accept and understand.
When parents blame their children, it is likely that they want their children to become instruments; when parents deny their children, it is also likely that they are worried that their children's lives will be unhappy, because parents regard their children as the closest people, so they will always use extreme ways to express their love to their children.
As a child, we must understand the pain of our parents and communicate frankly with our parents, otherwise, the love given by both parties will become mutual harm.
Liu Lan (pseudonym) is 24 years old this year, since she separated from her ex-husband, she took her son back to her mother's house to live with her mother Xiang Fang (pseudonym), but because the mother and daughter are relatively strong personalities, the two of them are constantly contradictory in their daily lives, and recently, Xiang Fang was driven out of the house by her daughter and faced the dilemma of homelessness.
Xiang Fang said that the conflict between her and her daughter originated from a small trifle, one night, she heard the dog in the living room barking very badly, so she took a bamboo pole and beat it hard next to the dog, trying to scare the puppy so that it would stop barking.
But what Xiang Fang did not expect was that Liu Lan came out of the room after hearing the noise, and Liu Lan asked her mother why she beat the dog?
The mother and daughter did not agree with each other, and they quarreled, and Liu Lan even said harsh words to her mother: People are in the dog, and if you want to go, you will go by yourself.
After hearing her daughter's words, Xiang Fang left the house in a negative mood, but she still couldn't trust her daughter in her heart, and a few days later, she went to the mediator for help and wanted to ease the relationship with her daughter.
After the mediator found Liu Lan, Liu Lan said that she did say evil words to her mother, but this was a helpless act under the pressure of her mother, she said bluntly that the mother had a face before and another face after her, which was very disgusting.
What exactly happened between the mother and daughter that made the relationship between the two so tense?
Xiang Fang said that her family was originally very happy, after her family's old house was expropriated, they were allocated 4 houses, of which 3 were rented and 1 was used for their own residence, but since her daughter lived back after divorce, her original comfortable life has been disrupted.
Xiang Fang bluntly said that her daughter wanted to take the family house for herself on the grounds that she was incompatible with her own personality and hated herself for talking too much nonsense.
But Liu Lan feels that her appeal is completely reasonable, she said, her mother is just pretending to be pitiful, her mother feels that she has decorated 4 houses, she should have the ownership of the house, but in fact, after the old house property was expropriated, she and her son also shared a living area of 135 square meters, and because of this, she returned to her mother's house to live.
Xiang Fang bluntly said that she never denied the property area that her daughter should have, but after her daughter divorced, she took her newly found boyfriend Chen Ming (pseudonym) home to live, which made her very disgusted.
Xiang Fang feels that Chen Ming is a foreigner, and he is lazy and has no money, he lives in his own house out of thin air, enjoys his big house, and may just cheat his daughter's feelings.
It is precisely because Xiang Fang has such a prejudice against Chen Ming, so from the beginning of her daughter's interaction with it, she is not in favor of it, but in the face of her daughter's resolute attitude towards this love, she can only choose to give in.
Liu Lan's view of love is different from her mother's, she feels that she is still young, she wants to pursue free and free happiness, she will not care about whether there will be a good future with Chen Ming, she feels that as long as the two get along well at the moment, it is enough.
During liu lan and Chen Ming's cohabitation, Liu lan also gave birth to a child for her boyfriend, but because both of them had a failed marriage experience, they were more cautious about marriage and did not receive a marriage license.
In Xiang Fang's eyes, such feelings are unreliable, she feels that her daughter is a very simple person, and her daughter's boyfriend is lazy, and has no economic foundation, and he has made money and rarely gives it to his daughter, he is likely to have other plans.
The mother and daughter often quarrel because of Chen Ming, Liu Lan will often speak ill of her mother, and Xiang Fang will sometimes beat her daughter when she is angry.
Liu Lan's requirements for feelings are very simple, she can't cook herself, she feels that Chen Ming can cook for her every day, and when she has time, she will go out to run online car ride-hailing to make money, and she thinks that her boyfriend can do this is already very good.
Liu Lan said that her mother had forced Chen Ming to kneel down to apologize to her because of a trivial matter, between the tense mode of getting along between her mother and Chen Ming, Liu Lan bluntly said that she wanted to live in another house at home, have her own independent space, and did not want to live with her mother anymore.
Hearing her daughter's words, Xiang Fang said that Chen Ming is a very fierce person, she has never asked Chen Ming to kneel down and apologize, as for the daughter wants to move out to live, Xiang Fang said that now the houses are rented outside, if it is a pity to take it back, she is willing to move to the dormitory to live, leaving the house for her daughter to live.
Before leaving, Xiang Fang expressed her doubts to her daughter, who was worried that she would trust Chen Ming's words and sell the property in the family, which would eventually lead to her daughter's life being insecure.
Liu Lan said that her mother's worries were superfluous, she thought that this year is her own life year, and her mother bought a red sweater for her during the New Year, so she missed her mother's kindness and finally shook hands with her mother.
Liu Lan said bluntly that the reason why she and her mother are constantly contradictory is because her mother does not understand herself, and she hopes that her mother can rest assured that she can live alone.
At this point, the emotional story between Liu Lan and Xiang Fang's mother and daughter was declared over.
Sentiment Analysis:
For women who have had a failed marriage experience, choosing to return to their mother's family life is a complicated matter, they are eager to be accepted and loved by their parents, and they are worried that they will be rejected by their mother's family and become a burden to their mother's family.
As a mother's family, you should know how to understand the difficulty of your daughter and be more tolerant of your daughter, only in this way can your daughter feel warm in her mother's home and find a sense of belonging.
In the story of Xiang Fang and Liu Lan, Xiang Fang has different ideas and lifestyles from her daughter, so after her daughter divorces and returns to her mother's home, she will argue with her daughter because she is not accustomed to her daughter's practices.
In my opinion, everyone has their own way of life, Xiang Fang feels that her daughter's casual emotional life is not guaranteed, but this may be the freedom that Liu Lan yearns for, as long as she likes such a lifestyle, for her daughter who has already reached adulthood, the mother does not have to worry too much.
And Liu Lan after the divorce, the practice of bringing her boyfriend back to her mother's house to live is also slightly inappropriate, because the mother's family still has parents alive, if you want to increase family members, you must also take the lead in seeking the opinions of your parents, since the mother does not like her boyfriend, then the behavior of bringing her boyfriend back to her mother's house is bound to make her and her mother live with her mother.
Xiang Fang finally chose to move to the dormitory, leaving the home to her daughter, which is actually a manifestation of deep love for her daughter, in fact, all of Xiang Fang's dissatisfaction with her daughter is due to her love for her daughter, if mother and daughter can communicate and understand each other more, perhaps their relationship will be more harmonious.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)