When I was young, my parents yelled at me and even scolded me loudly whenever they were even a little dissatisfied. At that time, I was very afraid in my heart, so that when I was doing things, my parents were around with a blank mind, worried that doing something wrong would be exchanged for my parents' loud accusations.
Now that I am a mother myself, I understand very well how my child feels when he is scolded by his parents, and I have always advocated that if I can speak well, I cannot scold my child. However, my husband is contrary to my concept, thinking that it is difficult for children to become talents without experiencing parental scolding.
Some time ago, a few friends came to the house and talked about this problem during small talk, and friends said that the most effective way to discipline children is to scold. It made me feel very distressed, didn't they experience something like me when they were young? Or is it that although they do not like to be scolded by their parents, they are now parents who enjoy this way of educating their children.
Educating children in the form of scolding, often loudly accusing children, there are many disadvantages. According to my observation, parents often beat and scold their children, and there will be these disadvantages.
1, children are prone to inferiority, not self-confidence
Needless to say, other people, in my own case, are a good example. When I was young, I was scolded by my parents more often, and I would resist every time I did something, and I didn't want to do it, because I was worried about failure, and failure was exchanged for my parents' scolding.
It wasn't until I had to live in the second grade of junior high school that my personality changed a lot. In school accommodation, even if the topic is wrong, there is no parent scolding in the ear; and if the topic is done correctly, I will often be praised by the teacher, which not only makes me have confidence in doing things, but also make great progress in learning.
Therefore, in my cognition, it is wrong to always educate children in a scolding way, and appreciating and encouraging children is what we have to do.
2, children are easy to develop a bad temper
Parents have a bad temper, get angry at every turn, and scold their children, which may make their children develop to two extremes. One is to develop an inferior and introverted personality; the other is to develop the habit of bad temper.
The child is the mirror of the parent's behavior, and the child will imitate and even develop a greater temper than the parent when he sees the behavior of the parent. The child's temperament will become more and more irritable and unfriendly to the people around him. Imagine a hot-tempered child, of course, no other child wants to play with him and make friends.
Since parents loudly accuse their children and scold their children's education methods, how should we educate their children? The establishment of parent-child relationship is a prerequisite for effectively educating children, and we can do so.
1. Cultivate parent-child relationship from an early age
Some parents find that when the child is young, he is busy earning money, and when he finds that the child inadvertently grows up, he wants to be close to the child, but finds that the child does not like to talk to himself, and he does not discuss things with himself. Because, in the critical period of children's growth, parents lack companionship and love for their children, and they have not cultivated a parent-child relationship.
Every day after school, my daughter would come home and see me and tell me what interesting things were happening at school. For example, if a classmate in the class did something that her daughter remembered, or a classmate was criticized or praised by the teacher. My daughter can behave like this because I am in front of my daughter as an easy mother, a mother who is willing to listen to her.
Therefore, if a child is willing to believe in his parents, he must have a deep parent-child relationship with his parents. Parents get the trust of their children and tell their children what they do, and the children will put it in their hearts and do it with their hearts.
2. Appreciate and praise children
Whether it is an adult or a child, it is bound to be a happy thing to be appreciated and affirmed by others. Especially for our children, the praise and praise of parents can keep him motivated.
When my daughter is in kindergarten, she learns a dance with the children in her class and prepares to perform at the festival. My daughter was not very skilled in kindergarten, so I practiced with her at home. In the beginning, the daughter knew that she was not skilled and danced very unconfidently. I took my daughter's hand and encouraged her, "You have a talent for dancing, and your fingers are doing better than your mother." ”
Hearing my praise, my daughter seemed to be happy and held out her hands to show me. Seeing my daughter's performance, I knew that my daughter's dance this time would definitely be able to learn well.
Written at the end: Of course, no one is perfect, and no one can avoid the time of tantrum. However, we parents must learn to control our temper, occasionally a half tantrums are no problem, if you take loud scolding, scolding as a way to educate children, it is wrong. (The picture is from the network, if there is infringement, it must be deleted)