My mother-in-law died, I couldn't go to the funeral because of work, my husband is ignoring me now, what did I do wrong?

Netizens asked:

My mother-in-law died last month, and my husband asked me to go back to my hometown with him to mourn, but at that time I was talking about a project, this project has been talked about for a long time, it is very important for me, if you take leave, the project may be yellow, I really don't want to give up, I hesitate.

The husband said: "You take leave first, if the job is gone, you can look for it again, and if you can't find a job, I will support you." ”

But I think women still have to have independent financial resources, this job I like, but also cherish the hard-won opportunity, if this project is done well, I can be promoted this year, did not promise my husband.

Later, my husband drove back alone in the evening, and when I called him in the early morning, his voice was dumb, saying that he was very busy, afraid of disturbing him, plus I was also busy at work, and I did not call again in the next few days.

My husband came back five days later, but he didn't pay much attention to me. No matter how much I cared about him, coaxed him, and made him happy, he didn't pay much attention to me.

I apologized to him and explained, but he said I didn't understand him, said that his mother was only one, that I had many job opportunities, blamed me for not wanting to meet his mother with him for the last time, and accused me of not calling and caring about how things were handled at home.

It's been more than ten days, my husband is still like this, I am very annoyed now, he said I don't understand him, he doesn't understand me. I am also sad that my mother-in-law died, but I can't come back from the dead. The most important thing for people is not to look forward, I am so hard to grasp the opportunity of this work, not to make more money, to run a small home for the two of us.

Now my husband doesn't pay much attention to me, not as good as before, although he didn't scold me, but he didn't want to talk, every day when he came home from work, the house was cold and cold, I felt so helpless.

I want to ask, am I really doing something wrong? If I do it wrong, how can I get it back? I really love my husband, he's so nice to me, I don't want to lose him.

My answer:

You're working hard for your promotion, and that's perfectly right for you. But when your mother-in-law dies and your husband needs you, you refuse under the pretext of work, and in your husband's eyes, you are very wrong.

Things have to be prioritized, not only did you not take care of human feelings, did not accompany him back to do filial piety, did the last thing for your deceased mother-in-law, and you also lost his face.

He went back to his hometown alone, and how many ugly words he listened to, you may never know. His seven aunts and eight aunts and the villagers in the village will feel: such a big thing, your wife will not come back, what marriage you married, how do you choose a wife, how do you teach your wife so ignorant, whether your wife has a bad relationship with your mother or has an opinion about your family...

Your inaction, which makes him disgraceful, is equivalent to inserting a knife in his already bloody heart, and you think that he can forgive you if you coax him to tease him? You're ridiculous.

It's like the two of you are in a boat, the boat is in the water, and you go in a lifeboat that can only accommodate one person, leaving him with a shadow indifferently and letting him fend for himself. Afterwards he was lucky to be saved, and you ran over and said, Oh husband, you are still alive, I am so happy.

He's already chilled and dead-hearted for your choice.

At that time, he did not convince you to go to the funeral because there were so many things waiting for him to deal with, and he did not have so much energy to talk nonsense with you and listen to your selfish excuses. But when he finishes his work and thinks about it calmly, he will feel how cold-blooded and selfish his wife is, how inconsiderate he cares about him and comforts him.

When he needs you the most, you give the attitude of not caring about yourself. Moreover, he was afraid of disturbing him, and he did not call him for the next few days.

To be honest, if you don't arrive, in the next few days you can do something to remedy it, even if you send some words every day, ask him how he is doing, tell him to pay more attention to rest, don't be too sad... It will also make him feel a little better, knowing that you still care about him and value your mother-in-law who has passed away. But you miss the best time to remedy.

You can also call him a few thousand dollars, he can't accept another statement, and it was originally both of you money, but your intimate way will make him think that you understand etiquette, although you can't go, but also express your condolences and condolences. You can say, "It's been a hard few days for you. You gave my mother-in-law a few more incense sticks and a little more tribute. The rest of the money you can do to help your relatives and friends before and after running, to buy some cigarettes and alcohol for others. I can't go to others to help you with the handle, otherwise many things should be done by me, you also say sorry and thank you to everyone for me. ”

At the critical moment, if you are not available, you have to keep up with the money and words, and you have to have the attitude.

When such a big thing happens, you don't give anything, you don't allow your husband to have emotions, everything has become yours, how can you be so suitable?

You said that he used to be very good to you, so people's hearts change hearts, he is good to you and hope that you are good to him, but how do you treat him?

And in the past five days, have you negotiated the project? Have you been promoted?

Are you worried that the project is in vain, please can't take five days off, can't we ask for two days? You first went with the past to accompany your husband to the most important two days, and it is not completely impossible for you to come back early yourself, right? I don't believe that without you these two days, the project will be yellow? Are you that important?

The key problem is that in the face of your own business, you don't think it matters that your husband's mother died.

If you want to save it, it's hard. After all, he already has a chill on you, how serious do you think it is? You have to show your sincerity with practical actions.

I don't know if you pay attention to the white language over there, I don't know if "seven seven" has passed? Or on some special day, you can tell him according to the actual situation on your side: "Which day is the auspicious day of worship, I will accompany you back to the pillar incense for your mother-in-law." "Even if you go back on the weekend, it shows your sincerity."

You can go back with him, pay homage, and then take a gift to visit a circle of people who help him run errands, say something nice, help him save some face, and soothe the emotions of his relatives.

His bereavement of his mother may not come out for a long time, and all you can do is comfort and companionship, and don't ask him to coax you anymore. Although I think his divorce is not enough, but through this matter, it is difficult to say whether he still loves you or not.