Everything is for the future of the child, this sentence, there are many similar statements, I am from the mother of a child with depression, face to face, clearly heard others say this.
Although this statement is very correct on the surface, it is doubtful that the child's present is not important?
Doesn't the mother of this child know? The child is now depressed, very painful, she does not face the reality, accept the reality, but also talk about the future of the child?
Do you have to face the future at the expense of endless effort and learning, or even the pain of depression? Doesn't that seem illogical?
Some people may wonder, when you write this article, do you want to raise the bar with these parents?
Of course not!
This kind of thinking gives people the intuition that they deprive children of their childhood nature, and thus say that it is for the sake of their children's future, how anxious these parents are about the future!
Almost everyone knows the idiom of "pulling up seedlings and promoting growth", if you look closely at what you do to your children, is there any similarity?
The common sense is that a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old child, you let him reserve food after thirty or forty years old, let him prepare himself for thirty or forty years old, is it necessary? Isn't that ridiculous?
Some studies in psychology have shown that if a child's childhood can grow up in a healthy environment and a harmonious family without worry, he will have the ability to be a very healthy and normal person, which has been the case since ancient times, which is a natural thing.
And in excessive protection, growing up under excessive pressure, these children tend to be mentally unhealthy, and even mental illness occurs, which can be seen in the example of depression in children and adolescents.
Especially in some single-parent families, parents think that they do not have the best family environment for their children in terms of family, so they may feel guilty and want to make up for it in other aspects, give their children the best food, wear the most expensive, go to more study classes, learn English, learn piano...
And these parents, they may not clearly know that what children need, in fact, is not these at all, but love and security, children need inner relaxation and peace, what they need is happiness, play, rather than endless classes and learning.
Some children will have a sense of pressure and boredom, some children will rebel and resist their parents, and some children may also feel guilty about their parents because of this, because they understand their parents and know that their parents are good for themselves, but they do not like these, they do not want to learn well, so they feel self-blame, these psychological conflicts make children lose the happiness they should have as children.
What an innocent child!
What's wrong with parents? Parents seem to be not wrong, parents are just too anxious, the parents' reason is that the child's future competition must be very cruel, we can not manage the child for a lifetime? How can you do it without trying now?
Some parents, working hard, rarely have time to accompany their children, and the name is beautiful, all for the future of the family and children.
Some parents, who have a beautiful expectation for their children, do not know whether the children like it, but parents may like it, because it must contain the ideals and values of parents, and the shortcomings of parents in the past and future!
What parents have envisioned but not realized, must be left to their children? Is it for the kids? Or for yourself?
If you want to explain the above problems, tens of thousands of words may not be clear, the following is still direct, simply say it.
First of all, what the future will be, it is not clear, the old saying says, children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren.
The sage Lin Xu said, "If the descendants are like me, what do they do with money, and if they are wise and rich, they will lose their will; if the descendants are inferior to me, what they do with money, foolish and rich, and increase their excesses."
This is a wise and open-minded insight.
Secondly, as a parent, what do you want to give your child?
Please be sure to give your child a happy childhood! Let the child play easily and happily, while giving the child love and protection, giving them a sense of security, giving them affirmation, encouragement, praise, such a child will be more physically and mentally healthy! It will be easy to make a difference in the future!
At the same time, it is also necessary to teach children how to love, love their parents, love themselves, and love others, knowing tolerance, gratitude, compassion, compassion, and defined in fashionable terms, which are called high emotional intelligence.
These may be the child's future excellent qualities, these qualities, better than money, better than knowledge, will definitely make the child a humane person, become a valuable person, more importantly, these qualities, will make him a person who knows what happiness is.
Such a child, his childhood is happy, his future, is not very good?