Don't let your child heal childhood with a lifetime

Welcome to forward to the circle of friends

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Do you believe that someone would throw a child out of the house in the middle of the night because of a moon cake?

A few days ago, a parent shared this experience online:

His child is nine years old, in the fourth grade, and plays basketball with coaches in his spare time.

Near the Mid-Autumn Festival, the coach gave each child a moon cake. When he saw this mooncake, he felt that the quality was not good, so he said to the child: "Don't eat this mooncake, I can buy a better mooncake for you." ”

The child does not agree. He threw away the mooncake with his bare hands.

The child was practicing while crying.

When he came home at night, he deliberately walked in front of the child, shut him out of the door, and waited for the child to beg him to open the door as usual.

As a result, this time the child did not ask him, but also left a shallow mark on the door, wrote two letters "SB", and then ran away.

It was already eleven o'clock, and while he was taking a bath, he imagined various scenes where the child might be lost, but because he was disappointed in the child, he still refused to look for it.

It wasn't until midnight, when two young men knocked on the door and asked him if he had lost the child, that he "had to put on his clothes" and go with them to pick up the child.

From start to finish, this parent was convinced that he was right.

"I don't let him eat that piece of mooncake for his health."

"I don't go looking for him because I don't want him to taste the sweetness and develop a bad habit of running away from home."

As for the child's feelings, they are not in his consideration at all.

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There is a line in the Korean drama "Please Answer 1988", called: "Dad is also a father for the first time." ”

This sentence is occasionally used as a euphemistic apology, and it is okay to stir up emotions.

But we should at least remember that even if we were really first-time dads and first-time moms, we were all kids.

We know what it's like to be a kid and what we want as a kid.

For example, the child in the story, is he really a mouthful of mooncake given by a rare coach?

Of course not.

If he really was just hungry, he wouldn't have hesitated to refuse when Dad offered to buy a better mooncake replacement.

That piece of mooncake, representing the affection between him and the coach, and the sense of belonging in the team, is a very precious thing in a child's heart.

However, when the father did not care about these things, he threw away the mooncake.

Imagine how humiliating it is for a child to be "slammed" shut out of the gate.

That's like someone telling him, "This home is mine, everything in the house is mine, and everything is up to me." You can only stay in this house if you wag your tail and beg for mercy. ”

To be honest, I wouldn't be so cruel to our cats.

The child is also dignified, he has his own feelings, not just stuttering.

When he watched his father lock the door, he actually locked a door in his heart.

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There is nothing easier in this world than to bully a child.

They are short, have little strength, have no jobs, no income, no insight, no cunning, no house of their own.

Any adult can put on a "I'm good for you" look and crush them with strong words.

A fan of mine once left a message saying that she lived without dignity as a child.

Her bedroom had no door, and her mother could break in at any time to check.

Her correspondence with friends, even the notes passed in class, could be turned over by her mother at any time, scolding and laughing.

Once, she went to a market with her mother and took a fancy to a shirt.

That shirt may be really a little expensive.

If my mother had told her that we had made too little money to buy such a good shirt for the time being, she would have been able to understand.

But the mother did not, but in the lively market, loudly scolded: "The little age does not learn well, only knows vanity, wants such expensive clothes, completely disregard my life and death!" Do you know how hard it is for me to make some money? Why did I raise such a loser as you! ”

She was so guilty that she almost fell to her knees in the street.

It was many years later that she realized that something was wrong.

A mother who cannot afford the clothes her child wants should explain it to her child well, rather than accusing her child of vanity and making her lose her eyes in front of everyone.

Because that's not the child's fault.

So she repeated the old story with her mother, crying while talking, hoping to hear an apology and heal her inner wounds.

Unexpectedly, the mother listened to the fury: "I worked hard to raise you, just to make you remember revenge?" ”

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Children need exams to prove that they are good children, and parents do not need any proof to think that they are the first parents in the world and do not accept any rebuttal.

Because they have a sense of superiority: "I conceived you for food, clothing, shelter and travel, so whatever I do to you, you should be grateful to Dade." ”

There's really no need for that.

If a father or mother, who does not raise his children because he loves them, cannot experience enough fun in the process of raising and accompanying his children, he needs to mentally abuse his children to make up for it.

Then there is really no need. Not only will they feel very tired and unhappy, but children will also feel very tired and unhappy.

Lucky people heal their whole lives with childhood, and unfortunate people heal their childhood with a lifetime.

In fact, they can't even cure their childhood, because raising a child is equivalent to living a new childhood in the way they want.

And they chose the worst way.

I once saw a woman with a successful career on the Internet and recalled the unfairness she encountered in her family as a child.

Because she was a girl, her father repeatedly wanted her to drop out of school early and work to earn money to support her brother.

Fortunately, she had good grades and would be stopped by the teacher every time.

Later, she studied hard all the way and became the most successful child, and every time she came home, she would buy a lot of gifts for her parents and brother.

She looked at them gleefully at the gifts, but her heart was very clear: "This is not gratitude, not love, but debt repayment." ”

Only love can be exchanged for love.

The rest, no matter how much you give, you can't.

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